Split Second

I never would've thought that it was my day. My day to fall in love. My day to leave everything behind. It only takes a split second for anything to happen. It takes a split second to fall in love, to get hurt, to die. But I guess we never really expect those things to happen. I mean, has anyone ever known when they fall in love for the first time? Has anyone known when they're about to lose a loved one? Has anyone ever known they weren't going to be accepted into the college they planned on going to? If we knew all these things, we could stop the bad and change it to good. We could save a life if we knew they would be taken from this world. We could prevent ourselves from running out into the road and colliding with a car. We could stop ourselves from falling for the wrong people. But that's not how life works. Life is a mystery, we just have to figure out the puzzle.

As I walk down the street, look up to the clear blue sky. No clouds in sight. No birds. No airplanes flying by, leaving the contrail behind them. It's a quite beautiful day. I just wish it could last forever. But sadly, nothing gold can stay.

I walk into a small coffee shop around the corner of my flat. Walking up the the counter, I wave hello to the same cashier I see every day, Marcy. I order my hot drink, just like a normal day, or so I thought. I walk over, taking a seat in my regular spot as I wait for my beverage. As Marcy brings my coffee over, setting it onto the table in front of me, a girl walks in. She's bundled underneath a thick jacket, her brown hair poking out of her hood. She orders a peppermint mocha frappuccino with a dash of chocolate flavour added. I watch as she turns this way and walks over to an empty table, taking a seat. She's beautiful. Her beauty is inexplicable. I don't even know why I think she is. I mean, she's not hot. She's not hot like all those Victoria Secret models. She's beautiful. She's more than hot. She's gorgeous. I can't explain what I think, I can just tell you what I feel, sort of. I can try to at least.

I feel my heart clench as her mouth stays in a frown. I feel my heart lift up at her slightest movement. I feel like I don't weigh anything, like I'm an empty vessel floating here with no purpose. I can't tell you why I'm feeling this. I can just tell you that I've never felt this before in my life. You don't know that this feeling exists until you've felt it. You don't believe in love until you've felt it. Nobody would truly be able to explain the feeling of falling in love until they've done it, and I don't know if this is love that I'm feeling, I'm just taking an expeditious, imprudent guess. I mean, I have never felt love, at least I don't think so, and I've never felt this. What else could it be? When you're in love, you know it, right? When people fall in love, they can't explain the feeling. Like Louis for example, he always says how in love with Eleanor he is. He could never explain how he knew, he just knew. Now, cupid has struck me with his arrow. I can't tell you how I know, I just know.

"Well, don't just stare at her you creep. Go talk to her." I jump at the sudden voice of Marcy. I look up at her and she stands there with an expecting look on her face. I just look at her like she went mad, "Wh-What?" I stutter, eyes wide. She just smiles and chuckles, "You heard me. Get your butt over there." She pushes me over in my chair, making me fall over. I look up from the floor and see everyone, including the girl, looking at me. "Thanks Marcy." I glare up at her as I stand to my feet, brushing off the excess dirt on my pants. She raises her eyebrows, mouthing 'go' and points to the girl. I roll my eyes, reluctantly walking over to the girl. I rub the back of my neck shyly, "Uh. Hi." I say, giving her a crooked smile. She rips her gaze out of the window to face me. "Hi." She smiles, her big brown eyes seeping into mine. "I'm Zayn." I smile back, staring into her eyes. We stay in silence for a minute until she rips hers from mine. "Uh, do you want to sit?" She looks at the seat across from her. I stand there for a minute, not moving until I realize what she said. I sit down and we just look at each other in silence.

Jesus, why do I have to be so awkward? I mean, can't I just have a normal conversation with a normal girl. Well, let's face it, she's not a normal girl. Maybe I'm not a normal guy either.

"I'm Paisley." She smiles, breaking the silence. Even her name is beautiful. "Sorry, I just saw you sitting over here alone and figured I'd come over here." I look down at the table, tracing the dark wood with my fingertips. "Well I'm glad you did Zayn. It was getting quite lonely over here." She smiles again. I could get use to seeing that smile. "Me too. Uh, would you like my number? I-I'd like to get to know you." I ask, looking into both her eyes. "Of course. I'd definitely enjoy another cup of coffee with you again sometime. Although, you don't have a cup." She lets out an amazing laugh, handing me her phone. "I'd like that too." I type my number into her phone, handing it back to her. "Well, Zayn, I have to get back to work. I better be on my way. I need to start walking if I don't want to be late. I'll see you again soon?" She says, waiting for my reassurance and I smile, "Of course." I promise as she stands up. She starts to walk away but I jump up, chasing her. "Hey, wait. Uh, would you like some company?" I ask her shyly. "Sure." She smiles as I wave goodbye to Marcy and she winks at me, making me roll my eyes. I walk out of the cafe with her by my side. We walk down the sidewalk, watching our surroundings. Mothers pushing their baby's in their strollers, dogs running around in the park playing fetch, kids playing on the jungle gym. This is my dream. I plan on getting married and starting a family one day. Maybe I'll do that with Paisley one day. I mean, if she feels the same way. I know, it's crazy. Falling in love so fast, so easy, but I know it happened. I thought I was in love with Perrie. But in reality I just didn't want to be alone. I didn't actually love her. I thought it was love. But now I know for sure it wasn't. I didn't feel this way with her. My heart didn't race everytime she smiles or even glanced at me. I didn't feel so-so-I don't know. So-In love. So alive. Paisley makes me feel alive and wanted. When she smiles I smile. When she laughs I laugh. When she says my name my heart palpitates. Everything about her makes me want her more.

"So. Zayn how old are you?" She asks, making my thoughts about her pause. "20." I say, glancing sideways at her. "How old are you?" I ask as we cross over the sidewalk. That's when it all happens. When all time freezes. When everything takes a twist in my life. I go deaf by the blare of a horn. I instinctively jump, pushing Paisley out of the way as I feel myself being pushed the opposite direction.

You know how people say time slows down when something tragic happens, or when you're dying. Well it's true. You're so preoccupied with your own life flashing before your eyes. I see everything, preoccupied by my life, by the remembrance of the girl I fell in love with just a couple hours ago. I never even got to know how old she is, or her last name, if I would ever get to change it to Malik, or if she even loved me back. I feel myself come to a halt. The muffled voices become clearer and clearer as I hear the angelic voice screaming to get to me. She appears above me as I feel water hitting my face. Weird, it was a clear sky not more than a few minutes ago. That's when her face becomes clear. Everything but her is a blur. All I need is to see her. "Zayn, you're okay. Don't worry. Help is coming." She says as the tears fall freely from her face. "Don't cry. I'll be fine remember? Don't cry beautiful." I say with a weak, shaky voice. "You never told me how old you were." I point out. "19." She says hurriedly. Like there won't be enough time for her to say anything. Like I'll die before she gets to finish. "Could you please tell my friends that I love them and that I thank them for everything they've done for me." I say, the pain getting worse. I can feel the blood running down my body from multiple places. "You're not going to die. Zayn you're going to be okay." She says, her voice shaky. "But still, even if I live, tell them. It'll catch them off guard." I smile weakly. She manages to stifle a laugh. "You just got hit by a truck and you still manage to make me laugh. You are one of a kind Zayn." She smile through her tears. "No. I'm just a normal guy. You are one of a kind Paisley." I force a smile, the pain getting worse and worse. "The ambulance is on it's way." Someone says behind Paisley, making her nod. My eyes start to get droopy, my body getting weaker. "Zayn. Stay with me. Don't go to sleep. Stay. Please." She pleads, more tears falling. This may be the last time I get to see this beautiful angel for a while. The last time I'll be able to take in her beauty. Her beautiful brown eyes that were filled with so much joy. Her long, full, dark brown hair. Her few freckles that scatter her face beautifully. Her perfectly toned skin. Her defined jaw bone. Her slim face that perfectly fits her. Everything about her is amazing. "Paisley." I start. I may be insane, but if I'm dying today, I have to tell her. "I-" My voice is shaky. "What? What Zayn?" She implores. "I am in love with you." I say, staring into her eyes. "Zayn." She cries. "No. I know we only just met. But trust me when I say that I love you. No words can explain how I feel or even why I feel this way, but I do. I just had to tell you before-" I get cut off by the warmth of her lips. The inexplicable feeling I get when she places her hands on my face. The way my heart races at how gentle she is. The way her lips move against mine. She pulls away but my eyes stay closed. "Please stay." She begs as tears run down her face. "Remember Paisley, I love you." I say, closing my eyes. "Zayn." I feel a sting across my face and she gasps. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do." She says. "Paisley. I can't. Don't forget to tell the guys what I said. Go meet them, tell them that you're the love of my life. Tell them everything. Then go live a happy life. But promise me something." I say in a strained voice. "Anything." My eyes get droopier as I get weaker. "Don't forget me. Especially don't forget how much I love you." I say, the pain getting excruciating. She nods furiously, "I promise." She leans down, kissing my forehead as I close my eyes for good.

It's true. Those last few seconds of your life are bliss. Your last breath is the best. The last look into the world is the one you should cherish the most. My last look up at the clear sky is the last memory I'll have. But I'm glad I'm facing up. If I was facing the road, I'd be disappointed. I wouldn't want the black cement to be the last thing I remember. The sky is the perfect thing to remember. Especially with Paisley in the view. As I suck in my last breath I savor the amazing feeling. My lungs expanding and for the very last time, letting all the air out.

Death is quite fascinating. I mean, you don't know it's going to happen until you're just minutes away from it. You never think too much about it. But when you do, you think it's going to be horrible. You're scared to die. But when you're seconds from death, you let it in. You don't want anything more than to die. You realize that it's not so bad. You were never scared of death itself. You're scared of how bad it hurts. But in reality, there's no pain to dying. You don't feel anything except yourself being lifted. Like all that pain and suffering is disappearing. Every problem is lifted off your shoulders. You feel weightless. The feeling of death is elate. The feeling of peace, no worries, nothing. It's quite amazing, and It all happens in a split second.

I feel myself being lifted up and I look down. I look down at my own broken and bloody body. Paisley kneeling down beside me, crying onto my chest, yelling for me to wake up. I never got to know if she loved me back. I won't ever get to make a family with her or anyone. I can't imagine how my family will react to this. The boys will be devastated. The fans won't know what to do. Simon will be anguished. Nothing will be the same. But I pray that they will get through it. I know they will. I just can't help but remind myself that I won't be able to continue living my life. I won't finish living my dream. I can't make anybody happy anymore. I made the very last fan happy yesterday. Now the ones who haven't met me, never will. I can't buy a house and live a small life with my wife and kids. I won't be able to hug my mum or sisters anymore. I don't have a life anymore. But that's okay. I accept my death. I accept that it's my time to go, and I'm leaving.

Goodbye boys. Goodbye friends. Goodbye fans. Goodbye family. Goodbye my love. I'll give you one last kiss before I leave.

"I love you Paisley, I hope you love me too."

"Zayn-"

Notes

I decided to write a one-shot. So here it is! Sorry if you cried. I know I did when I proof read it. Please vote and comment what you thought!!!