Triggered

My eyes scanned the outside world of the Grey Hound bus I was hitching a ride from. My hands clutched tightly onto my luggage as an old couple stared at me. It was like they were mentally saying I didn't belong. Which I guess I didn't... but this was the only place I could go. I knew someone here that was friends with my father, an old lady named Mrs. Kent. She would give me a place to stay, maybe she would even cut down the price a little, just until I found a decent paying job for myself. That was gonna be kinda hard since I knew no one, and I had no idea where anything was. I wasn't very good at making new friends... and when I did, they were usually guys. I had a bad habit of become friends with guys. It kinda came from the fact that I was a major Tomboy back in high school. I was never popular, nor pretty, and I embraced it, but all the stupid bull shit I got from bullies is what made me have my anger issues and depression. I still don't consider myself pretty... with my stupid copper hair and freckles. I was short, and even though everyone said I was slim... I still considered myself fat or at least chubby. I disgusted myself, and that's why it hurt so bad when Greg cheated on me. I thought that I was pretty enough for him... I thought that maybe he would always be there, despite my ugliness and rude attitude. Guess my stupid slut friend was better than me. Whats the worst part is he was my first. I gave him my virginity and this is what he gives back.

Thanks a fucking lot.

You make my life so much easier!

Dick wad

It was sad seeing my home go away as we passed the California boarder. This was where I grew up, this was where everything I knew was. Right here. Granted I didn't tell my mom where I was going, she would have talked me into staying with her until I was "back" on my feet. I was never off my feet, I was just kinda swaying. I couldn't have the guts to tell her that I didn't want to stay with her, considering her physio drunken husband is still there, even after the asshole tried to rape me but only left me looking like a smashed pumpkin for a month. She didn't know about the raping part, but she did know about the being beat part. After she found out she had Breast Cancer, my step dad never went after her... only me. She needed him though, he had money, and a home. She had nothing. That is why she didn't object to me moving out and living with Tania at the age of 17. She didn't want me to be in that situation, but she didn't want to die by starvation. She would call me in about two days. Every Monday she called to check up on me, and this Monday is when I was going to tell her I am now in Colorado. No where near her or my problems. She was the hardest part about leaving. I knew her husband loved her, and hated me, so he would always take care of her and leave me bleeding in the dirt. It didn't bother me as much... she needed to be taken care of way more than myself. I had enough money to travel to Colorado, and rent a place for maybe a month before the next rent due.

This world seemed so different and I felt like a stranger.

I was never good with "new"

I only knew what was in front of me. Never able to be on my own, scared of the world. Then when my step dad beat me, I learned something. This world will always be fucking scary and tremendous... but you can't let it beat you. And I didn't.

Notes

Yes. A short chapter I know... but I wanted you all to get a little closer on the life DeLaney lived.

Love you all!

Bye!

xXMadiXx