*Tarah's pov*

I don't know why but I kept looking over the message that Ashton had sent me, I don't know whether to be upset or just feel all fluttery inside, because honestly I think it was a short little note, and I kind of believe him, but there was something else, he could not tell me in my face? I sighed and then put my phone back into my pocket and then I sighed and then I made my way to my next class, people had began to forget about the whole Ashton and I thing and I just felt a relief, and I was looking for Clair, I haven't seen her today, I don't know where she was I checked in the Choir room but she was not in there and I hope she is okay. I haven't spoke to the girls since that night. I think I am going to try to get them to come around again soon. I miss them.

–

Once school was over I found myself going home. I feel like this is to much for me to do. I didn't want to be around people right now just to think about it, I was wondering if I should reply to Ashton and I know that he lays awake waiting for me to text him back. This was something that I could not manage to do. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy though, and I didn't want anyone to think that I am crazy and I don't want him to get into trouble because Modest! Had made it loud and clear and that can mess with Ashton's career, so I had decided to just go along with it and just be myself and not worry about what people say. I just wish that people would just stop talking about it, because I know if he wasn't so popular people would have never said anything, but it is Millions of girls talking about this.

I got home and took off my back pack and then went straight to my room and then looked at my phone again, I had decided to text Ashton, I deserve it for myself, stopping my vloggs and agreeing with Modest! Not to see him again.

'I am getting a lot of hate from a lot of people, and yeah, I am doing much better since I am home now, I wish that it had never happened.' I sent him.

'It is my fault, you don't have to feel any kind of guilt.' He said with a sad face.

'Alright.' I said simply.

We were just talking about other things to try and change the subject, but soon I wish that I could just be so happy that I didn't have to worry about people hating me anymore, I had gained more people to follow me though and it was something that I didn't understand. I guess people had found my twitter. I was getting hate and I was also getting love, but I noticed that hate more. I didn't know what to do, this was just all so much and I just wanted all the hate to stop. I sighed and then finally just turned off my phone and decided to chill out and do my homework because that is all that I could do right now, set my mind off reality but I know that soon the thoughts would ease up again and I will not be happy.

About two hours later, Tyler had came in with some pizza, he must love me so much, I had sat down in front of the TV with him and ate.

“So I heard you kissed that Ashton.” He said, slightly angry with the fact that I did.

“Let's not talk about this please.” I whined putting my hand on my forehead, this was not going to make me any happier.

“And you stopped vlogging?” He said, and I nodded my head putting some pizza in my mouth and chewing, I just wish that all of this torment would just go away. It just was not healthy.

I had told him about how I just wanted to find a interest in something else, and I might come back soon in vlogging, but I just had nothing to say and I know that people would put hate towards me so I decided to let it go right now, because I did not like being criticized, and it kind of hurts especially if you are a sensitive girl like me. I might come back, I do not know right now but I don't think that right now will be the best time.

Notes

Hi! x How are you guys doing? I am doing fine.. lol Tarah is going through a lot right now, believe it or not, but she is!

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All the love .xx