My Faults

Valerie’s P.O.V

After much play and banter that was exchanged over pizza, Louis left Zayn and I – again – in the kitchen. I swear we spend half our lives in the kitchen. I sighed and looked at the leftover pizza. I glanced at the clock, reading 8:30 PM. I took out a plastic container, filling it with the leftover slices of pizza. I glanced up and caught Zayn staring at me. I laughed as he quickly looked away from my eye contact. Boys… but then again.. I would’ve done the same. I bit my lip, hiding my smile as I closed the lid shut, sealing off all the air. I walked over to the fridge and put the container down on the first shelf. Closing the fridge, I moved towards Zayn and leaned on his back, lightly. A fresh breeze rolled in through the kitchen window, lightly caressing his hair. I smiled and straightened my body. Zayn turned towards me and took hold of my hands. As we looked at each other, many thoughts ran free as my heart rate picked up, once again.

Where do we stand.. where will this lead us… will he stay.. or will he leave… I feel safe with giving my complete trust with him… I returned the smile he gave me and caressed his hands in mine. I had an idea. “So.. what do you want to do?” I asked, breaking the comfortable silence. He thought for a moment then glanced towards the window. “Let’s sit outside,” he suggested. I smiled then pulled him up. As we moved out, I grabbed Journal from the far corner of the kitchen counter. Zayn’s arm found its way to my waist as we walked out. I found myself smiling as my cheeks flushed red. I looked up ahead and saw the swing. I jogged towards it, climbing onto it. Swinging myself, I dropped my Journal down onto the roots of the tree. Zayn sat himself down and picked up my Journal. Time to time, I let him go through it, hence how he drew in the map. Speaking of the map… maybe he remembers it? I leaned back slightly, tightening my grip on the rope, re-adjusting my feet on the tyre. I let my eyes close as a sudden breeze flowed through the atmosphere. I felt my headband come loose, falling on the ground. The feeling of the wind running through my hair, teasing it, made me feel joyous, excited and young.

I didn’t realise I had loosened my grip as I fell with a hard thud. I opened my eyes slowly to see Zayn scramble over. I sat up, giggling, feeling bubbly and light. Before he could shower me with questions, I put my finger up against his lips to hush him. I shook my head and assured him, “It’s okay it was a small fall.” He looked at me unsure but then bit on my finger gently making me pull away laughing. He winked then pulled me over, re-opening Journal again. I rested my head on his shoulder and asked, “Did you read my entry from today?” He sighed lightly then replied, “Yes. Yes I did.” I smiled lightly and said, “You know you can read what you like from there, right?” I felt his body relax in ease. He must’ve thought otherwise. I laughed lightly and rubbed his thigh in comfort. “Silly goose,” I commented with cheek.

He chuckled nervously, playing with my hair. I pulled away frowning at him. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “It’s nothing…” he replied back uneasily. I gave him a look before replying, “Zayn. Come on, tell me.” He looked away from me and stayed quiet for a few minutes. I sat there in fear. What if.. what if he doesn’t like me anymore? “Zayn, I love you,” I blurted out. He turned his gaze back at me in surprise. “Do you really?” he asked in awe. I lost my way with words and stuttered out, “I umm well.. y-yeah.. I do.” This time, I looked away. A silence rose in the air. I’ve ruined things. Oh my God.. he doesn’t love me. Zayn took a hold on my chin, making me face him again. I noticed my vision had blurred because of my tears. His thumb swiped across my cheek, wiping away the tears that had escaped. “I’m sorry Zayn.. I know you don’t feel the sa-,” I rambled until his lips pressed against mine. What’s going on? What does this mean..? He pulled away slightly, mumbling against my lips, “I love you too.” My breath hitched slightly before I pulled fully away. I saw hurt flash across his face but I moved back in, kissing him properly this time. He responded back after a few seconds, pulling my body close to his. I tugged lightly on his lower lip before pulling away, letting his lip spring back.

I watched as a light smirk crept along his lips. I let out a laugh breaking all tension. I covered my cheeks then admitted, “I’m feeling daring today, Zayn.” I shook my head noticing he had pulled me onto him; straddling him. I turned around to look for my head band. Seeing it a few feet away from me, I leaned back reaching for it. I let out a small yelp as his hands gripped my hips. I moved my body back up, fidgeting with the headband, not noticing Zayn’s expression. After a good two minutes, I looked up to see his face in utter frustration. I moved off him, laughing out loud as he groaned low, running his hand through his hair. “Tsk, tsk, Zayn. Very disappointed,” I said mockingly. “I normally don’t get so excited, Valerie but the way you just manoeuvred to get your headband, I just- ugh.” My jaw dropped open as he made his confession. I then started to laugh again and exclaimed, “I praise the Lord for your imagination but that was just.. out there.” I then stopped laughing. “I wonder if that’s what all boys do….” I trailed off, frowning slightly. “Well, I ain’t letting any boy or girl, look at you the way I do.” I blushed, caught off guard. “Promise?” I held out my pinky to him. Zayn wrapped his pinky around mine then pressed his thumb to mine. Our way of promising. “I promise to protect you like I’ve always done.” I moved myself next to him again, laying my head on his shoulder as before.

I frowned slightly then asked cautiously, “In what way do you look at me, Zayn?” He cleared his throat a little before replying, “Many ways.” I poked his stomach, holding in my laugh. “Excuse me mister but I do recall that I’m someone to interact with, not to be stared at.” He stopped squirming away from me and asked in an amused tone, “Interact with?” I scoffed then poked him repetitively before being picked up. “Hey! You can’t always do that to escape my wrath.” He laughed in mock and replied, “Wrath? Valerie, don’t start with the tough-girl act. You couldn’t hold it up for long, anyway.” We laughed quietly, entering the house. I grabbed my journal from his other hand since he had me slung over his shoulder. His famous little- I shook my head, my face flushed as we passed Louis.

"What on earth..." Lou trailed off. "Don't even ask," I replied laughing. "Oi! Stop man-handling my Kitty!" Louis called out. I was put down immediately and I asked quietly, "Since when do you listen to him?" He smiled and kissed my cheek before whispering, "Since I made his sister my girlfriend." I pushed him away, smiling at him. I sat down on the couch beside Louis, Zayn joining in right after. I looked at the television screen and saw what was playing. "INSIDIOUS?!" I yelled out. I clung onto Zayn. "LOUIS WHY-" I cut myself off, burying my face on the pillow in Zayn's lap. I lay down properly, propping my legs on Lou's lap, turning my back towards the TV, holding Zayn's hand. Today's events had tired me to the core.

Zayn and Lou's cries of alarm rang in my ears. Geez.

Notes