My Faults

Louis’ P.O.V.

I didn’t know what to say to Valerie when she had her outburst of self-blame. I sighed heavily as I watched her go upstairs. I never blamed Valerie for Mum’s death. A part of me wanted to go cry in a corner but that would be ridiculous of me. We had to do something about notorious Max George. Deep inside, I don’t hold a fear of him for being all “drug master” but the fact that he raped Valerie and got away with it not only angered me but sprouted a fear. I must’ve spaced out because Zayn shook my by the shoulders.

“Mate… Lou, come on, snap out of it,” Zayn pleaded quietly. My eyes focused on Zayn as he continued, “We both know that Val is in her most self-critical state right now.. it’s best if we let her cool off. For now, we need to focus on the main trouble at hand.” I nodded. For Valerie. I shifted to my focus mode and said, “Well, first of all, we know that Max is or supposedly was a master drug dealer.”

Zayn nodded for me to continue and I motioned with my hands, saying, “He was sent to prison for life-long imprisonment… but Robbie got him free.” I frowned slightly before saying, “But.. what we don’t know is why Robbie got him of all people.. and also we don’t understand why Robbie couldn’t have gotten an apprentice from a well-known college or something.”

“True…” Zayn trailed off then continued, “but.. Ugh, do you reckon he made Max his apprentice because of his knowledge with drugs?” My jaw dropped slightly as the new theory swam in my mind. That must be it! “So now we have something on why…” I mumbled. I looked beyond Zayn and saw Valerie make her way towards us. A smile was spread subtly across her lips as she flipped through the pages of her journal. Zayn chuckled lightly as Valerie sat next to him. She hasn’t written in that book in ages. “So this is what you need, aye?” Zayn asked her. She nodded then quietly began writing in it. I smirked lightly as Valerie flicked her middle finger hard against Zayn’s forehead as his body dipped slowly towards her, trying to see what she was writing. I tried to keep my laughs in as Zayn mumbled an ‘ouch’, rubbing his forehead roughly while pouting. She laughed then leaned up and kissed his forehead. Ugh, Zayn. You have a weird way of getting what you want. Pouting? I scoffed then thought, wait... I pout more than him anyway...

I made vomit noises and commented, “There’s baby vomit everywhere. Just stop. You’re killing me.” Valerie laughed lightly before threatening, “Do you want me to tell Mallory to kiss you again?” I made a zipping noise as I “zipped” my mouth shut, shooting Zayn death glares as he chuckled.

Oh Lord.. these lovebirds. I pulled a face at Zayn before receiving a flick on my forehead from Valerie. Rubbing my forehead, I scowled at Valerie who simply stated in a slight mocking tone, “You’re distracting me with your sexy moi poses.” I scrunched up my nose remembering her spitting juice all over my face. Revenge… I sat there thinking deeply as Zayn looked confused. I sighed in humiliation and explained to Zayn what happened.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Valerie’s P.O.V.
I let Zayn’s laughter fill my ears, smiling to myself. I read over what I had written the last time I touched, Journal.


Journal, 22nd October, 2011

Dear ________,

I just got home from school, late. Sorry, I had to finish off some artwork for an assignment. Year 11 this year has been a blast of work. Hehe, I’m laughing at all the times I cried at school when my ideas failed. It was so funny when I splat paint at Lucy’s assignment. No! Don’t worry, I wasn’t ruining it. She asked me to. Lucy’s assignment was themed as “friends” and she wanted me to leave an imprint of myself in the designated spot she left for me to fill in. I remember laughing as I grabbed blue paint, dipped my fingers in and did random shapes and swirls. But I particularly loved splatting the paint with a toothbrush. I have odd, art tools.

Anyway, that was my positive note for the day. I don’t have much of those, do I? Yeah.. Zayn was sick today. Louis’ at his place right now as I write. Those two have already graduated. Lucky them, aye? I want to visit him but.. I know I’ll crumble when he asks me about school and all. Since they’ve left school, the attacks have been worse. Marcus (a stupid arse, he is), always “greets” me at school with a bone-crushing hug. Yeah.. I wouldn’t call it hug, really. It’s more of suffocating me, grinding his knee hard in my stomach then shoving me towards the lockers and running off when a teacher’s coming. I think I might end up having a toned stomach maybe? You know .. from all the “hard” work it’s been given? Meh, that wouldn’t happen. I’m going to visit Robbie tomorrow for some prescriptions for Soov. The cream does my tummy wonders. Otherwise.. I know Lou would be bound to see the purplish-blue (or is it bluish- purple?) bruises that are clustered there.

Dammit, I’m smudging the ink with the stupid tears. I’m sorry, Journal. I’m ruining you. Argh, anyway, I have to go take a shower quickly. My hair is a complete mess from today. I’m too puffed to write down what happened to it.

Bye,
Valeria J. Tomlinson


I sighed lightly. This was how I’d always entered my thoughts. In case anyone picked it up and read it, the hyphened area indicated that it was okay for them to read it. I then closed, Journal suddenly amused at how Zayn was in fits of laughter while Louis attempted to swat him with the kitchen towel. Those two.. I giggled at them. What would I do without them?
“Oh honey, I could list it out for you.” My giggling faltered but I started to fight against Chrissy Doll’s control over my thought-space. Leave me. Now.

“Fine,” she replied. Confusion was splashed across my face as she said that. What? “You heard me,” she began, “But when I’m back, you’re in trouble. Have fun, murderer.”

Notes

Here's the 19th chapter. Sorry that it's short. I'm.. distracted.