Attached at the hip.

*Sacannah's POV*

By the time I finally wake up it's dark outside, dang I really slept for a long time.... I slowly open my eyes and I see all the boys sitting in various places around the room. Zayn is sitting in the window seat thingy, Harry and Louis are sitting on a couch on the farside of the room, Niall isn't here, he's probably in the cafeteria, and Liam's parent's are back. "Hello love" Liam's mom says when she notices I'm awake, When she does all the boys jump up and come over to me "Savannahhhh! Mummy how are you? How are you feeling?" I hear coming from the boys

"Woah there one at a tine" I say with a smal laugh "I'm feeling pretty good actually, I'm not that sore at the moment and I finally got some rest" I say with a small smile

"Yeah, we could see that, you've been asleep on Liam for hours" Louis says with a laugh

"What can I say? He's a good cuddler, and he's always really warm" I say and smile looking up at Liam. He is fast asleep, his head is turned to the side facing away from me and his arm is still wrapped tightly around me. "Look how cute he is when he sleeps" I say and coo over him.

The boys just burst out laughing and Liam's mom shhh's them. "anyways, we sent Niall to starbucks, her's getting us all coffee, except for you, Liam told him what you liked before he fell asleep" Harry says and I smile and look up at him again, I draw small shapes on his arm again.

"How long has he been asleep?" I ask and turn back to the boys "About an hour ago, but Niall didn't leave until 10 minutes ago" Zayn informs me.

"Well that's good, he needs all the sleep he can get so he is ready to start the tour back up when he's released" I say knowing how management needs him back because they have already canceled a few shows.

"Speaking of tour, are you really going to come back on tour with us?" Zayn asks and I pause

"I don't know...Do you guys want me to?" I ask and ponder the idea in my head.

"Of course we do, you are like a sister to all of us, we love you and want you on there, plus who else will keep us in check when paul can't? Louis says and I smile.

"And who else will make sure we have food ready for us whenever we get back from stuff, this first part of the tour has sucked without you" Niall says, woah when did he get here?

I smile and laugh, remembering how I always made sure the boys were fed and that everything went smoothly when it came to food time, I know how these boys get when they're hungry, and it isn't pretty. "I mean... I guess I'll come back on tour with y'all" I say acting like I didn't want to.

"Awe come on mummy you know you love us" Harry pouts and I smile and pinch his cheeks.

"That I do boys" I say with a smile "Now where is the wonderful Niall with my starbucks?" I ask and he steps forward and hands me a cup and a small baggie.

"One grande white hot choclate, extra whip, and a ham and cheese crissont" he says and I smile

"Perfect, thank you soooo much Ni, I really needed this" I say with a smile. Harry, Niall, and Louis both got tea thingys, and Zayn got a frappachunio, while Liam got his regular disgusting coffee.

The boys are about to wake him but I stop them "No, let him sleep, he could use a good rest, the coffee will be fine, worst case basis he can try 'iced coffee'" I say with a smile and take his hand in mine. I sip on my drink and eat about 1/2 of my crissont but after that I can't eat anymore, well more like I don't want to eat anymore.

*The next day*

Liam finally was released from the hospital this morning, and we are now back at the hotel. They get hotels whenever we are in one place for more than a few days, but otherwise they ride in the bus. This time they are in the pent house suite so it's a bunch of rooms connected and they all get their own. When we got home Liam was still tired as were the other boys, none of them have gotten much sleep lately, and neither have I. But I have to figure out all my school stuff and register for online classes.

I spend the next two hours setting everything up and finally everything is solidified, I just start my classes whenever I'm ready, I'll probably start tomorrow while we are on the road. I look at the time and see that it is 6:00, the boys need to get up and eat soon. I walk into the kitchen and find the basics in the pantry, I make some spaghetti, with Liam's special sauce, some biscuits I found in the fridge, and some ingredients for a salad as a side.

Right as I finish cooking Niall walks in, he looks like a zombie "Do I smell food?" he asks me and I nod

"Yup, dinner is just about ready",I say and he instantly perks up "Go wash up, and do me favor? Wake the other boys and tell them to do the same and be out here in ten minutes" I say and he nods.

"Yes mummy" he jokes and I laugh, I was kinda acting like their mothers, but hey, the could always use a mother around to keep them in check, and I guess that 'mom' will just have to be me. The next thing I know I hear the boys all talking and making their way into the kitchen.

"mmmm smells good" Liam says and hugs me from behind, his arms around my waist. I tense up, yeah we cuddled in the hospital, but this was different, or it felt different, his body pressed against mine. He presses a kiss to the back of my neck and I'm done. I really tense up and move away from his grip, I guess he can tell because he backs off "To fast?" he asks me and I nod my head yes, I feel bad because I know he's trying but I just....I'm not ready for things to be like that again, even though I am still here and I want us to work this out, that doesn't mean we can go on like normal acting like everything is okay because it's not.

"Could you set the table?" I ask him and hand him some plates

"Uhh, sure" he says and takes them from me awkwardly, yayyyyyy for awkwardness. Just kidding someone shoot me.

The table is set and we all dig in and start eating, the boys scarf down their food but I just pick at mine, I'm not very hungry. "Savannah, why aren't you eating?" Liam asks and I freeze. I can't tell him the real reason. Why I'm not hungry, why I can't eat....

"Oh...um, just,not feeling so hot, if you'll excuse me...I think I need to go lay down." I say softly and excuse myself from the table. I get up and walk to Liam's room and shut the door behind me. I hear Liam get up and I know he's coming so I hold back my tears and just lay on the bed.

"Savannah?" he asks and knocks n the door twice

"It's open" I murmmer and he walks into the room., he sits on the edge of the bed

"Are you okay?" he asks me obviously concerned

"Fine. Just nausias" I lie, although I usually suck at lying he seems to buy it.

"Should I get you some medicine?" He asks me and I groan.

"No, I just need to sleep, you go eat your dinner and hang out with the boys, you need some bro time" I say softly and burry my face in the pillow.

"Alright, well I'm just in the other room if you need me" he says and I nod my head as he leaves and closes the door. As soon as he door is shut the tears start to fall. I go into the ensuite bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I dissect every flaw I have. My chubby cheeks, the way my eyes squint when I smile, the crinkles by my eyes, the bags under my eyes, my huge forehead, my awkward freckles, my worry lines. I then move down to my torso, my boobs are to big and make me slouch a bit, my stomach pouches out a bit, I'm fat, my waist isn't small enough, my hips aren't curvy enough, my thighs are to big, ankles to small, knees are ugly. Every part of me is ugly. It's no surprise Liam cheated on me. Why is he even with an ugly girl like me? He is with me when he could easily have size 0 perfect little dancer Danielle. No wonder he went to her. No wonder he slept with her. she's perfect. She is everything that I'm not.

I sigh and go to my bag, I grab a small pill bottle from the bottom and use a cup in the bathroom to pour me a glass of water. I swallow the diet pill down and dry off the cup then hide the pill bottle back in my bag. It's not like it's contraband, but I know Liam would freak if he found out I'm taking them. They are not bad, just an appetite suppressant and they burn fat, I don't see any harm in that. I mean, I'm not going to keep using them until I'm skin and bones, I just want to loose some pounds and get skinnier. I don't want to give Liam another reason to cheat on me again. I'm going to get pretty, I'm not going to loose Liam, I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep him around. Even though I'm beyond angry with him, I still want him to think I am pretty and love me.

It does something to a person, when they get cheated on makes them wonder what they did or didn't do, what is wrong with them, why did the one they love cheat on them. The only possible reason I can think of is that Danielle is a godess and I'm a troll. Lord knows that child has the I.Q. of a twelve year old, sure she can dance and I can't...but I can...I don't know...she has everything I want, part of me wants to be like her no matter how much I hate her. I guess I'm jealous? I don't know what I feel, except for anger, resentment, and hatred towards her. She already has everything I could ever want, but the one thing I have that she doesn't is Liam and she is determined to get him back, God I don't know what I'll do if she does, I can't handle even the idea of him going back to her.

By now I'm on the floor, my back against the wall crying my eyes out. All these thoughts are killing me. I hate feeling like this, so empty, lost, lonely, hurt, scared, and hating myself. I just want everything to be okay. This is when things are always the worst. At night, when I'm alone, nobody to distract me, in a room just left to my thoughts and fears. I swear my mind is a monster. I'll be fine all day, but the second I'm alone I break down, I start replaying everything that has happened, the moment Liam told me what he did....

I then look through my bag and find something else I grabbed before I flew out here...something I haven't touched since high school....my blade.

Notes

Woahhhhhh what's going on with Savannah? will she be able to handle all this? what will Liam say if he finds out? what about her taking the diet pills? Well let me know what y'all think! Thank you to everyone for reading <33