Still British

Finally, one of the boys cleared their throats, and we both stood up, breaking the full hug, but keeping contact. Those boys were so awkward, they’d just stared at us the whole time we hugged. We all stood there looking at each other, and finally the tension got to me. I just took Harry’s hand and we left. Those boys could stand there, open mouthed, until next year for all I cared! We turned a corner, and I pulled Harry into a side-room. He just came along, sat down, and stared at me with such sad eyes I was surprised neither of us were crying yet. For a time, we just sat there, staring at the other. Then something in his eyes broke, and he started to turn away. I just grabbed his shoulders, pulled him back to where he was sitting. “Did you mean it?” we asked at the same time. After a moment of silence, I decided to answer first. “Did I mean what?” “Any of that. Anything you’ve ever said to me. That song. That hug. This moment.” He didn’t say it, but I heard the next part anyway. Not coming to me. It almost hurt that he didn’t trust me, but I remembered that I’d been similarly concerned in the beginning, so I kept that piece to myself. Instead, I answered him with complete honesty. “Harry,” I started, trying to phrase it correctly. I could almost hear his heart breaking during that tiny pause, and it broke mine, too. “I meant the song, the hug, and I mean for this to be a sweet, loving moment for us to clear up all of our issues.” I took a deep breath, the words abandoning me. “I never meant to hurt you, from leaving you to not trusting you to being too slow to come when you needed me. I… I love you, Harry. I have since I was four and you were seven, on that holiday at the beach. I will always love you, Harry.” He turned away, and I snapped. He didn’t love me. He wished I had meant all the horrid things, and none of the sweet ones. Maybe he was even in a relationship with another girl. It would make sense, I thought sadly. That’s what the boys meant by their discussion. I broke down, crying, my body wracked with sobs. I was crushed. “Oh, God. Essa, that’s not what I meant! I… I meant the song, and the hug, and all of our sweet, loving moments. I wish I could just erase the bad moments, both with and without me, from your life, you don’t deserve anything but the best.” Awww, how sweet. Maybe he did love me? Or at least care? “And you know what? I’ve been in love since I was seven.” I never stood a chance, did I? He was probably in love before I met him, and I’m so much younger, he’d never see me like that, I’m probably just a little sister in his eyes… “I love you, Essa. I have since I first laid eyes on you, and I will never stop. Just promise me the same.” “It was promised before you even said it.” I answered. He leaned in, then stopped. “May I?” He requested permission, remembering how scared I was in the beginning. I just leaned in and connected our lips. I won’t be cheesy, with all the ‘sparks flew’ or ‘there were fireworks’ ideas, but it was brilliant. My very best, very first, [hopefully] very last first kiss. I’d never be able to kiss anybody, let alone somebody that wasn’t Harry, without remember this very first kiss. No kiss could ever compare. “So…” I started once we broke away. “What are we now? Friends? Boyfriend/girlfriend? ‘Friend’s with benefits’? I asked, serious at first, but joking by the end. He was laughing, too. “What do you want to be?” He asked, and I contemplated it. “You’re supposed to ask the question!” I joked, and he laughed, getting down on one knee to pretend to propose to me. We broke down, into a fit of giggles. He stood, helping me up. We were serious now, talking about our future, one we both desperately wanted. “Essa, would you like to go on a date with me?” He asked, and I nodded, holding my breath. After a tiny pause, he continued. “I don’t know about telling anybody yet, but would you also like to be my unofficially official girlfriend?” I laughed, accepting the offer with a nod and a hug. “I’m so lucky, to have you back in my life.” We said together, walking out of the side-room arm in arm.

Notes

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! xoxo ~Stormy