If You're Lucky.

It had been a week or so since Harry and I had talked on the phone. Though he had called me a few times here and there since then, which I ignored. I don't understand why he's trying so hard. I mean, he has thousands upon thousands of girls that would die just at the thought of having his number. Why did it matter so much if one girl, me being her didn't want to go on a date with him?

I hadn't told Logan about me turning him down again. Or even that he had tried to call me and ask me out on a date. I was still a tad frustrated that he had given Harry my number without my permission in the first place. I knew that he meant well, but I feel that, that was my decision to make. Not his, though he seemed to make it for me regardless of what I wanted.

I was now sitting in my room, bored out of my mind. Logan had some errands to run earlier that I wasn't too interested in partaking in. He wanted to leave at seven in the morning anyway. Who wakes up at seven in the morning if they don't have to? Not me, that's for sure. I had already showered, gotten dressed and finished my hair and makeup. Who knows why though, it's not as if I had some big hot date coming up later tonight. Like I ever had a date.

I could've but I had to be stupid. I suppose it's not so stupid, I did have my reasoning and all. And I still stick by it, but it would be nice to not have to sit home and do nothing all day. There were plenty of people I could call to see if they wanted to go shopping or grab something to eat but I really wasn't in the mood for human interaction at the moment.

Wow, I sound like a complete and total loner. Oh well. My phone went off, getting me excited for a millisecond before I saw the name that appeared. Harry. I had finally save his number in my phone so that I wouldn't keep answering thinking it was someone else. I had done that a time or two, or more. Yeah way more and then I was put in the awkward situation where I couldn't decided if I should make up some lame ass excuse or just hang up without saying another word. I had varied between the two each time it happened and yet, here he is. Calling me yet again, I swear this boy was the most persistent one I've met yet.

I turned my phone to silent. I was getting tired of the constant ringing and vibrating that my phone had been doing for the last week and a half. I did feel a little bad for ignoring Harry. He did seem to be trying, which I have to give him credit for. But like I said before, it has nothing to do with him as a person. I'm sure he's a wonderful person. The absolute epitome of perfect boyfriends, as Logan had put it. It was the fame, and the crazed fans and the never stopping paparazzi that bothered me. Much of my life is documented on YouTube, but I get to control how much everyone sees.

Once you get to where he is, or you start dating someone like that. You're entire personal lives out the window. Gone, never to be seen again and I didn't want that. I mean, they found out things about people that you'd never think. They're past boyfriends/girlfriends, friends. They're underwear size. They're penis size for Christ's sake.

That's all to up close and personal for me, and I really can't even begin to fathom on how they handle it, because I'm almost one hundred percent sure I wouldn't be able to, not even in the slightest. Personal lives are called personal for a reason and once you're famous, people tend to forget about that. It's almost as if just because you "famous" as one would say you don't get privacy. Which is absolutely horrible. I like my privacy to an extent, and I'd like to keep it that way.

People tend to forget that you have feelings too and think that they're allowed to say what they want about you. Now just being on YouTube people bash and hate on me, but I know it's no where as near as much as the other boy's girlfriends have to deal with. Even if they're just a friend that happens to be a girl and they're seen with them, they receive death threats. Honestly, do people not understand how psychotic and ludicrous they make themselves seem when they do shit like that. Someday they'll learn, or not.

Probably not. Stupid teenagers. Wait what the hell are you talking about? You're still a teenager. Way to go and call yourself stupid Mase. Wow, are you seriously sitting here talking to yourself? Yes, yes you are and not only are you talking to yourself. You're asking yourself questions and then answering them. Oh lord help me.

I needed to get out of this house. I need desperately to go and do something. But what, what was I supposed to do go sit in the park, because that seemed like such an entertaining thought. I could go shopping, or maybe get something to eat. I shop way too much. Oh, maybe I could go to the movies, but wouldn't that make me seem a little bit like a loser? In all reality who goes to the movies on Wednesday, by themselves? Yeah, that's not a good idea. Not at all. What about going to Barnes and Noble. Yes! That's perfect. I wouldn't seem like a loner being all my myself because who goes in there to read with someone? Plus there most likely won't be an abundance of people there seeing as most people have to work. Plus, they have food and coffee, bonus! Sometimes I come up with the best ideas. You're so smart Mase. And there I go again talking to myself, I guess I take that last part back.

Anyway.

I got into my car sliding my sunglasses on to my face. It was abnormally bright out today. And I wasn't in the mood for getting in an accident, or possible dying do to the failure of not wearing any sunglasses. I've really gone and though way too much into this sun glass wearing situation. This here is exactly why I shouldn't be left alone. Because then I start talking like crazy person. Well talking to myself mostly, but that still makes me crazy. Although, no one knows I'm talking to myself but me. Ha. So to other people I don't seem like a freak, but deep down I am. Oh my.

I was scanning through the various books sat upon the self when a familiar face, framed with unruly curls caught me eye. A One Direction book. Oh and there were about four or five more. Aren't they just the little novelists. I grabbed every single one of them along with a few other books before making my way to the register. Is that weird?

I have absolutely no idea why I'm even buying the books in the first place. I bet Logan has all of these but I knew he wouldn't shut up if I asked to see one, let alone read it. Why did I want to read it though? The cashier looked at me a bit funny but stayed silent as he finished ringing up all of my items. After paying for them I ordered an infused tea and sandwich from StarBucks before heading home. I know that my original plan was to stay there and read, but my original plan didn't involve buying every One Direction book that was on the self either.

Logan was surprisingly home when I got back. I did my best to hide the massive Barnes and Noble bag behind me as I made my way up the stairs but seeing as I'm only about five foot three and one hundred and ten pounds, it didn't really work out all too well for me.

"Oh what'd you get at Barnes and Noble?" He questioned looking around me trying to see inside it.

"Oh. Um, just a few books. Nothing too interesting."

"Well, let me see." He stated sticking his hand out for the bag which I automatically pulled back, causing him to look at me weird.

"What's in there?"

"Nothing. Just some books." I lied once again, I knew he wasn't buying it. Although I wasn't completely lying about there being books, I was lying about there being nothing interesting in there. Well maybe, Who knows if these books are interesting. They would be to him, but to me. Maybe not so much. Who knows. Well I guess I'll know as soon as I can get to my room and lock my door.

"Why are you acting so weird?"

"Me? Acting wierd? Ha. I'm not acting weird. Are you crazy?"

"Um yeah, Mase. I'm the one that's crazy he said widening his eyes a little as he rolled them to the side, before walking away. I probably seemed like a complete nut case, but I couldn't let him know I had bought every book One Direction's ever published. Not after everything that went down. He still asks me every day if I've talked to anyone special and my answers always the same, No.

The second he walked away I turned around rushing up the stairs. As soon I was in my room, I shut the door hastily behind me locking it. There was no way in hell I was risking him walking in while I had my nose stuck in one of these. I tossed the bag on to my bed sitting myself down near my pillows. Carefully taking out each and every book, I set them in a neat row to row pattern along my bed. Folding the bag up neatly before placing it between my bed and nightstand. I have to say, they all were very photogenic from what I could see so far. I really had no idea which book came first so I decided to go with the one to which they looked the youngest on.

After only reading a few pages I was thoroughly involved in this book. Who would've thought that five boys just making it into their twenties could be so interesting. I had completely immersed myself in the books that I hadn't realized how long I was actually sitting her until a knock on my door made me jump causing the current book in my hand to go flying to floor.

"Mase, you okay?"

"Yeah. You just scared me."

"What was the big thump?"

"I just dropped my. . phone."

"Oh. Well, can I come in?"

"Uh. No. I mean yeah. Just, just give me a second." I stammered out as I began swiftly placing all books containing One Direction under my bed. I made sure there was absolutely no sign of them before opening my door.

"Hey." I said a little out of breath.

"What the hell were you doing?"

"Just sitting on my bed reading." I spoke trying to sound as nonchalantly as possible.

"Why are you out of breath then?"

"I'm not. What?"

"Why are you so acting weird?"

"I'm not. Huh? Who's acting weird. I mean, It's certainly not me."

"I think you've gone mental."

"Pft." I huffed waving my hand between us.

"Anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight."

"Where are you going?"

"To a club, they'll be a few other people there."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess. I just need to get ready."

"Okay, just meet me downstairs when you're done."

"Will do." I smiled closing the door. Letting out a large breath once it was finally closed. The was close. Well, not really I guess. Oh well. I need to get ready.

Notes