If You're Lucky.

It had almost been three week since my date with Harry. Even though we had planned to hang out before he had to leave again, things just seemed to get in the way. He was a very busy person, so I understood. I was a tad upset though. I missed him. A lot. I probably shouldn't miss him as much as I do. Seeing as we only talked to each other a few times. But I felt like I really got to know him. The real him. Not the person everyone assumes him to be. He's the absolute sweetest guy I've ever met. He's caring and funny. And I have a very, very hard time believing that he would ever be a "man whore" or "player" as I've heard dozens of people put it. He'd always had the utmost respect around me.
We had been texting non stop and I wanted nothing more than to see him. But I at the moment he was finishing up your and me being a girl he barely knows, I doubt I'm a priority on his list at the moment. I hadn't really left the house in a a week or so. The last time I did I was harassed and bullied by what I'm assuming were One Direction fans. I could barely go on Twitter any more. With all the hate and bashing going on. Especially after Harry had actually followed me. My followed at increased drastically but so had the hate. I really didn't get it. None of these people knew me and it wasn't as if Harry and I were even dating. We went on a date one time and who are they to know it was even a date.
They didn't. They just believed what the tabloids said and most of the shit they were printing wasn't even close to anything true. I read somewhere that we were getting married. Married?! I barely even knew the guy which brings me back to my recent problems and confusion. I was still falling for him, yet barely knowing him. It was hard for me and irregardless of how much I tried. I couldn't sot myself. It's like I have no control over what I feel and I didn't like it one bit. It wasn't fair. Why on earth would I chose to fall for someone that I could never have. Well I guess I wasn't choosing but still. It's just, every time I'd see him pictured with another girl whether they were just sitting next to one another or hugging it still got to me and I couldn't help it. I didn't want to me jealous. I wanted to be perfectly fine with it but I wasn't and it was absolutely and completely ridiculous. He wasn't even mine and he never would be. So why was I so jealous? Maybe for the same reasons every other girl that loved them were every time they saw them with a girl. I see were the anger and jealously comes from. But the death threats and torture I was receiving hurt. I don't know if people don't understand, but I am a human and I do have feeling and I do get hurt by their harsh words.
I had finally convinced myself to leave the house to do some grocery shopping. We were in desperate need of food. And with the amount that Logan ate out, I knew it would July be effecting me. I drug myself out of bed for the first time all day. It was now three pm. I had been to lazy to even get up and pee. How lame am I?
I stumbled my way to the closet, my legs not prepared for the sudden movement. I slid on a pair of running shorts, grimacing at the large scar place on my upper thigh. I know it could be a lot worse but I still didn't like it. I tried to block the image from my mind as I slid on another one of Logan's shirts that had conveniently ended up in my closet. I couldn't help myself. He's plain white v-necks were so soft and comfortable. I loved them.
I didn't bother with my hair leaving it in a the messy bun I had fixed it into a hour or two ago. Makeup wasn't even a thought as I tossed my keys and phone into my purse, slinging it over my shoulder. I'm really not looking forward to this. The ride to the grocery store wasn't nearly as long as I had liked. I usually wasn't one for long car rides but now a days I really dreaded being in public. I don't know it I could handle hearing half the things said to me online in person. I'd probably break down and cry right there in front of everyone.
I kept my head down as I made my way through the parking lot thankfully managing to unnoticed. I was almost completely done with my shopping when I noticed a few girls crowding together only a few feet away from me. Please don't notice me.
"You're Masyn right?" The tiny blonde one snapped in my direction. Slowly lifting my head, I turned towards them to get a better look.
"Yep that's her." Another brown eyes girl confirmed.
"What are you too stupid to talk?" A blue eye girl sneered causing the entire group to snicker.
"I don't even know why Harry would even consider being seen with you. Can you all see how many fat rolls she has"
I could feel the tears rising as they continued to bash and make fun of me.
"And look at her face."
"I'd rather look at a monkeys ass then have to see it again."
"She's probably just a slut anyway!"
That's when they feel. I did my best to conceal them, but failed. Only fueling their hate fire even further.
"Oh look. Now she's crying."
"The truth hurts bitch."
And with that I was gone. I didn't care that I had left a cart full of groceries in the middle of the isle. I didn't care that I had run out of the store, crying looking like a complete fool. I was hurt and I couldn't listen to another word. The second I was in the safe confines of my car, I completely broke. Letting out the sobs I had thankfully managed to hold in until now. I wasn't even with him. I don't understand how people can be so utterly cruel to another human being. It was wrong. I could never treat someone with such disrespect.
I cried the entire way home and another hour or two in my bed. I was actually glad to see that Logan was home when I got back. I didn't want to explain what happened or why I was so upset. It around nine o'clock when I heard the front door open before slamming shut a minute later. Footsteps up the stairs could be heard as he made his way down the hallway, stopping I front of my door. A few knocks and the door was opened.
"Mase."
"Yeah." I answered back hoarsely.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Probably just laying here."
"Mase you have to leave the house sometime."
Logan was fully aware of the verbal abuse I received on Twitter or out in public. And when he was with me. He would defend me without hesitation.
"Yes I can."
Oh Mase." He smiled sweetly. Taking a seat next to me on my bed. "I'll be right there."
"Right where?"
"Oh yeah. Duh!" He laughed, face palming. "We're all going out for Carter's birthday."
"Where is it?"
"The vault."
"I don't know."
"Mase! Come out with me! You never do anymore. Please?"
I really couldn't deny his large eyes and pouty lip. He was an expert at getting his way, especially when it came to me. And I can't say that it's a good thing. I groaned as he cheered, knowing he'd won.
"Let me just get ready."
"Yeah go shower. You stink."
"Oh thanks."
"You're welcome. Now go. I'll pick out something for you to wear."
"I can pick out my own outfit." I replied, a little worried about what e had in mind.
"Oh come on. It'll be out of your closet."
"I guess."
"Good girl. Now go get clean."
"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled, shutting the bathroom door behind me. The water flowing over my body, did calm me slightly. I had to make sure I was clean shaven, seeing as I had not a clue what I'd be wearing. I stepped out wrapping an oversized towel around my body. I started with my makeup. Hoping it'd give my hair more time to dry on its own, leaving me with less blow drying. It took longer than I'd expected but I was finally finished, makeup and hair completed as well as fresh minty breath.
I nervously walked back into my room afraid of what I was going to be forced to wear.
"Oh. Stop acting like a scared little child." Logan sighed taking in my expression.
I attempted a smile as a brought myself over to where the clothing had been laid out. I have to admit it wasn't as bad as I expected. I mean, they were my clothes. Not caring that Logan was there I dropped my towel pulling on my underwear he had also picked out for me. Seeing as you couldn't really wear a bra with the top at hand I grabbed my sticky bra, which was basically just nipple covers so you wouldn't be embarrassed if it happened to get a bit chilly outside. After sliding on everything Logan had picked shoes, jewelry and all. I stepped I front of the mirror taking in my approach.
"Logan. You can see my scar." I complained covering the light pink line with my palm.
"It's barely noticeable. You looked amazing. Trust me."
"You don't thinking I'm showing off a bit too much cleavage. I mean, my boobs are almost out."
"No. No, you have an amazing chest. He'll love it."
"I don't know. Wait. Who will love it?" I asked quickly snapping my head in his direction .
"Oh. Carter. Caterer will love it. Yeah Carter." He repeated as if to assure himself.
"Why would I want Carter to lay any attention to my chest?" I questioned incredulously.
"I don't. You didn't get him a birthday gift."
"So! I'm not going to let him see my chest because I didn't get him a gift!"
"Hey! No need to get defensive." He smiled. "Anyway. You ready? We need to get going." He murmured checking his watch.
"Yeah. Just let me grab my phone." I answered just as I slid it into the back pocket of these abnormally tight shorts.
"I thought Carter's birthday wasn't for two more months?" I asked, now realizing just as we were walking to the venue.
"Uh. Yeah. But he. He just, he wanted to celebrate early." He stuttered.
"Two months early?" I asked, a bit unconvinced.
"Yeah."
"But why?"
"I don't know." He replied shortly as the bouncer removed the rope, letting us is.
"Where are they?"
"They should be around here somewhere."
"I don't see them anywhere."
"Well let's get a drink first, then we'll look."
"Okay." I shrugged following him to the bar. "I still don't see them anywhere." I yelled over the loudness, taking another sip of my drink, while Logan checked his phone yet again for about the tenth time in the last three minutes. We had been walking around aimlessly for at least twenty minutes and it didn't see Carter or any of our friends anywhere. And its a tad weird since they're a pretty hard group to miss."Logan. Are you sure they said it was here?"
"No."
"Wait what?"
"I'm sorry. I lied, he's not having his party early."
"What? What the hell Logan? Why would you lie? Just to get me to a club. You know I didn't want to leave the house and you lied just so I'd come to a stupid club with you. You know how I've been getting treated in public. I don't understand why you'd purposely subject me to that." I snapped, more annoyed than I should be. I really don't like being lied to and he knows that.
"I know Mase, I'm sorry.
"Whatever. I'm going home."
"No wait. I drove you here."
"Yeah well, I'll take a cab or something. I'll even walk if I have to."
"Awwwhh Mase."
"Don't you Awh Mase me, you..."
I was cut of by a light grip pressing into both of my hips, causing a small giggle to escape.
"Hello love."

Notes