I'm Not Fine At All

Leslie's P.O.V

Justin and I are currently heading back to my place.The drive Was quiet, not even the radio was playing. It wasn't one of those "comfortable silences" either. We were both a little freaked out by Selena and we haven't been too close to each other lately.

Many fans are still at the ront of my building. Management told us to look all coupley and sign some autographs instead of going through the back, so Justin pulled up to the front and gave the keys to valet. What feels like hours later, Justin and I are in my apartment.

"We need to talk." Great, I thought to myself.

"We are talking." I said wanting to avoid this conversation, because I knew exactly how it was going to end up, him asking about us.

"You know what I mean." He said turning slightly so we were facing each other on the couch.

"What's going on with us?"

"I-I don't know" I answered.

He seemed to be in thought for a moment. His eyebrows scrunched together and his lips pouted slightly. I saw the way his eyes seemed focused on me, but his mind was else where.

Its moments like these, when I notice everything about him, that I can really see us together. I wonder, if he notices these little things about me the way I do about him. I can see us going on actual dates, not worrying if we look "coupley" enough, not wondering if people believe we are together or not because it won't matter, we would be happy.

"I don't want to pretend anymore."I said as I stood up to pace around the room. " I don't want to act like a couple in front of the cameras,then act like strangers when we're alone. I don't want to pretend that everything is fine when its not."

"We don't have to pretend. Just give this a chance. Just give us a chance."he said closing the gap between us.

"I don't know, Justin. My brain is telling me that there is too much."

"But what does your heart tell you?" He leaned closer until our lips meeting.

knock knock

"I um..better get that."I said after pulling away from him and walking towards the door.

"Hey Leslie...... oh hi Justin" he said sounding a little less than pleased.

"Don't mind me I'm just leaving."Justin said.

"Call me, Leslie. Later guys." He said before walking down the hall.

"lets go inside."I said since Ed was still in the hall.

"Actually, I'm not here to talk to you. I'm here to help you."

"Huh?"I said completely confused. Then I heard footsteps coming through the hall. I looked only to find Calum.

"You guys go and talk."Ed said pushing us into my apartment and closing the door. I wasn't ready for this. I had this conversation with Justin literally a few minutes ago. And now having it with Calum will probably get me even more confused.

"Hi." I finally said. Really hi? That's the best I could come up with?

"Hey." He chuckled. Okay laughing is good.

"Okay I prepared a whole speech in Ed's car on the way here. But it just doesn't feel right and I don't remember half of it. But just standing here with you. I just can't explain it.

I know what I did to you and what I said was shit.Especially since, I didn't know your side of the story. If I wasn't such a dick that night everything could have been different. I didn't trust you with Michael even though I should have known, since he was basically the one who got us together.

Its just, I wasn't thinking. You bring out all my insecurities, because I can't believe someone like you wouldve been with me. I know I don't remember what happened after our fight, but I know how shitty I must have felt since that's all I've been feeling since I found out you weren't mine. And now I'm just rambling and just-" he cut himself off by pressing his lips to mine.

Everything just felt so.........right. The empty part of me that I've been feeling for months, is filled.I didn't have to pretend with Calum. I didn't have to wonder if he thought of the little things. He showed me he did.

I reluctantly pulled away and looked into his eyes. He was concentrating on me, most likely trying to read my expression. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. He put his unbroken arm around me slowly. As if he was afraid I'd move.

" I love you, Calum" I whispered.

He kissed the top of my head before whispering, "I love you way more than you could imagine. "

Notes

Last chapter is up. This is a bitter sweet moment. Thanks to all my Amnesiacs.We appreciate all your supp