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Black Memories

Ⅰ

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Carol
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Hand and hand with my beloved father as we walk down the aisle of the church. My vision already getting blurry, I quickly wipe them in case a stray tear falls down my cold cheek. Today was a dreadful day, my apartment's rent need paying, and my mom's funeral combined into one. I sat down straightening out my black dress, which had rose petals on it at the bottom. My dad was the only person here with me, my brother graduated and left the country, so we only see him on holidays. It seems he doesn't really care that our mother won't be on the face of the earth anymore, and not many people were here either.

Let's just say she didn't make amends with many people here before she passed.

"Carol, stay here I'll be right back. Okay honey", Nodding my head and letting him squeeze pass my big thighs, which were pale. You could say that I was a vampire, since we found out that our mother died of heart attack I haven't had much sleep. Or really ate anything, you could really say that I'm anorexic.

Everybody took there seats while the minister stepped onto the podium, my dad slipped in right after he spoke up. I wasn't really paying attention to anything he was saying since I couldn't focus. My mind was a blur, questions and unbelievable answers circling my head right about now. I just couldn't see me living without my mother, my dad had already made a plan to move out of the states when they split up.

They couldn't work out there feelings, my dad kept getting drunk and sleeping around with other women while he was on "business trips". It was hard to see his face everyday or call him dad anymore, but when he moved it was like a huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders.

"She was a great woman.......", Toning his rough raspy out, just my eyes scanning the church. Remembering how me and my mom used to stop by her and sit in front of it talking about nothing really. 20 minutes into the ceremony I lost focus. They kept mentioning all the bads and the wrongs about her, I know she's not here but that doesn't give you the right to call her out.

After it ended we all got up and placed flowers on her bed. Then I had other troubles in my life then my mother's waking. After minutes of my eyes burning with hot tears, my eyes are red and itchy. My dad stopped and turned around towards me with sorrow in his eyes. If he thought he could say he's sorry for all the mistakes he caused then there's no " it's okay dad, I'll forgive you".

But what came out I wasn't expecting.