Elliot's POV

“But he thought you two were on a break?” Clover asks me.

“Yeah, and he made out with Lou, and who knows they probably did other things too. It's embarrassing, I mean they're together all the time, I guess it was just a matter of time before I was pushed out of his mind and he moved on to someone who was always around. I mean they've known each other for years, they're a perfect fit.” I shrug my shoulders throwing more clothes in a box.

“You can't believe that Rain. He loves you.” She tells me.

“If he loved me he wouldn't have thought I wanted a break. If he loved me he would have fought a little more then just telling me to leave and hang up the phone. If he loved me he would have tried to call me nonstop. If he loved me he would have showed it.” I'm bitter about the whole situation but how can you blame me.

“But he's still fighting for you.” She tells me.

“Sending me flowers and tweeting about how much he loves me is not fighting for me.” I roll my eyes.

“But he's trying. He's also constantly texting you and trying to call you.”

“Can we please not talk about this. It's bad enough we're in his house right now, I don't want any more reminders of him.” I tell her. I'm thankful Clover came out to LA when I got released to help me move into my new place but I need her to be my friend right now, not someone whose dragging everything out. “And besides, I thought you didn't like Harry.” I frown at her.

“I never said I didn't like him. I was concerned about his life style but I know he loves you. He made a mistake Rain. Everyone makes mistakes.” She starts pulling more clothes off the hangers to fold.

“A mistake is when you call the wrong number, or when you forget to ask for extra dipping sauce at In-n-Out. Making out with someone and sleeping in the same bed naked with them is not a mistake. It's deliberate. He knew what he was doing. I've never been that drunk to where I made the wrong decision and kissed someone. You saw the pictures. They're all over the magazines about Harry and Lou. I don't care if all they did was kiss, its for the whole world to see. I mean Harry and I can't go to McDonalds without people taking pictures of us, and here he is drunk off his ass hanging on Lou. He embarrassed me not just in front of my friends and family but the entire world Clover!” My anger is getting the best of me.

“Well we can't all be perfect El. He's sorry. There are reports of him mentioning you to everyone, at every concert he says something about you. It's been two weeks, I don't think it will get any better.” She turns back to the closet leaving me to my thoughts.

People act like this is easy for me. Like it was easy for me to tell Harry to leave. Like it was easy for me to tell him I never wanted to see him again. With every fiber of my being I wanted to see him. I wanted to lay in his bed until he returned. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, to lace my fingers with his and lay in the grass. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

But I can't just let him get away with this and think this is okay. I'm not a push over, I'm not allowing this to happen, to just sit back and let him cheat. To have him think this is okay. I understand him jumping to conclusions but he didn't even try to talk to me. Then he came to my aid and didn't tell me for days. He kept this secret from me, I can't trust him. If I can't trust him, I'm trying to tell my heart I can't love him.

“You all settled?” Clover asks as we move the final box into Joe's pick-up. He was visiting my brothers this weekend, a trip they've had planned for weeks. They all offered to cancel when they found out that I was getting released but I refused so they paid for Clover to come visit and help me move. I was moving into the third floor of the yoga studio. It was an apartment that no one has lived in for a few years. Thankfully Joe and Rose were kind enough to clean it up and move the bigger furniture, it was being used for slight storage for a while, still functioning but we just never had the need to rent it out.

Now I was going to live and work in the same building. I didn't have to pay rent though, that was nice. I toss Clover the keys, I'm not ready to drive. I grab Luna and put her in my lap to drive to our new home. I know it's Harry's cat but I know she was tired of just having the house keeper check in on her every once in a while. When he comes back I'll make arrangements to have her returned.

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It's been three days since I've moved in. Everyday was hard.

My stalker has been put in jail. It wasn't hard to catch her after my accident. She gave away some of her friends that helped break into my house when she was questioned so they at least found my computer. My computer had so much of my life in it so I'm glad I got that back, I'm sure they broke into it somehow even if it was password protected but it seemed to be functioning. Of course, it also had pictures of Harry and I all over them. I tried to delete them but I just couldn't. I tried to hide the files but I also know exactly where they are so it was hard to stay away.

I tried to call him everyday. Well my fingers hovered over his name everyday. When I got my stitches out I wanted to call him, when Luna played fetch like a puppy, when Clover left and I cried I wanted to call him but I couldn't. I should never want to see him. I told him I never wanted to see him again. I know things will get easier with time. He was going to London, he had a son now.

Harry was a father.

Just because I told myself I couldn't contact Harry didn't mean I couldn't read all the text messages he's sent me. Doesn't mean I can't answer the phone when Anne calls. She's never told me to forgive Harry, never even talked about him unless I bring him up, which I always do. I just need my mom right now but she's thousands of miles away without a telephone line. It's like I'm in the dark with her, I have no idea what she's doing. Everyone is leaving my life, or I'm pushing them away.

I sit in the silence, letting my brain think and think and think until my phone buzzes. I ignore it until it stops and then it starts again. I continue to ignore it and then it starts again. I groan and look at the caller ID. Zayn. What does he want?

“Hello?” I ask.

“Elliot, it's Zayn.” He tells me.

“I know, I have caller ID Zayn. If I'm on speaker and Harry's with you please just end this conversation, I want nothing to do with him.” Lies.

“He's not here, I promise. But I just wanted to tell you that Harry really misses you.” I uncross my legs placing them on the ground and sitting up.

“I know he does.”

“Then why don't you give him a chance? He's a wreck over here, it's effecting us all.”

“I'm sorry Zayn.” I know he misses me. It's hard for me too.”

“I thought you'd just want to know.”

“This doesn't change the fact that he cheated on me with Lou.”

“I know it doesn't, but God Lettie, I wish you could see him. He's so messed up, he never smiles anymore, he stays in his bunk all the time, he never wants to go anywhere, he always keeps to himself, everything is such a show when he's in public or concert or interviews. It's been really hard for him.” He sounds sympathetic but I just can't.

“And you think things have been easy for me here? He didn't fight for me at all. He jumped to conclusions before I could even explain then got piss drunk and made out with Lou, someone he's worked with for years, someone he sees everyday. I've been through hell too here Zayn. I could have died in that accident. I love Harry. I cry everyday that I can't see him and can't be with him but he made his decision. He did this. He is why I'm alone.” I choke back tears. It's a common thing for me lately, me crying.

“Yes he did cheat on you, but he's trying. He loves you just as much as you love him. And you're the reason why you're alone. You could change this in an instant Elliot. You know he would bend over backwards for you. Don't live your life wondering what if.” I cover my mouth to muffle the sounds of crying as we hang up the phone. I can't keep doing this.

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Everyday that passes just gets harder and harder. I thought not talking to someone was easy, just let them walk out of your life and move on. Easier said then done. Easier said when that person isn't a celebrity. The public doesn't know about our break-up, they know about the stalker that nearly killed me, so every time Harry mentions me the press goes wild. Apparently after everything that has happened, they love us now. If they only knew.

I've seen recent pictures of Harry as well, everyone saying he's reclusive, blaming things on the fact that we're far apart. It's hilarious when the press makes assumptions like that. They think they know exactly whats going on, and since they don't they just pretend. And people believe them.

I'm photographed every time I go out, even if I don't notice it. Those paps are really good at hiding. Harry is still trying to call me and text me constantly. It makes me seem like a terrible person but I'm hoping he lets things go and we can move on. I still love him though. That's the hardest part.

Notes

I hate writing sad chapters but it's a must!

And....sadly, the end is in sight! :(

xoxoxoxox