Just A Little Bit

Zayn's Point of View

I came downstairs, seeing everyone lying on the provided blankets and pillows, sleeping. I raised an eyebrow. It was a bad idea having them stay over when classes start in two hours. My eyes went from Kevin to Elizabeth and around but I didn't see any peaceful Grace. Or Calum and his group. Did they go home together?

My feet carried me to the kitchen, where Louis, Harry, and Niall were either making or eating breakfast.

"Morning, mate." Harry greeted, voice still low from his sleep. I waved to him, still preoccupied about Grace and Calum. Louis told me last night that they were dating now. I wasn't able to handle the news so I stayed up stairs until I fell asleep. I think I was crying because my eyes were red and slightly puffy this morning. I never cry.

Niall shoved a plate at me full of waffles and syrup, a couple strawberries on the side. I thanked him and sat down at the table, keeping my eyes low.

I thought Grace and I had a thing? Would she really just blow off amazing sex like that. I shook my head. I had to remind myself she wasn't like me. Her relationship style consisted of a boyfriend that took her out and cuddled with her. Not one that fucked her into oblivion and hardly speaks to her. God dammit, I don't even have her phone number!

"You alright?" Louis asked, sitting in front of me and taking a bite of the eggs he made himself. I shrugged, meeting his eyes temporarily. They held a sad truth I couldn't decipher. It scared me that he knew something I didn't.

"Are you still thinking about Grace?" Harry asked, sliding next to Lou. I sent him an impending glare and he threw his hands up defensively. "Just asking, bro."

I sighed heavily. This was really screwing with me.

"It's just... I've never...slept with anybody before."

Louis snorted. "Yes you have." I shook my head.

"No. I've had sex with them, yes. I've never slept with them afterwards. That means something to me. As stupid and scary as it sounds." I shuffled a little, suddenly no longer hungry.

I felt crisp blue eyes on me and looked up, Louis already glaring slightly. "You never told me that." He whispered harshly. I shrugged. "What's it your business?" He sat back in his chair, pushing his plate away a bit. I think he lost his appetite too.

"The fact that we tell each other everything."

"I didn't tell you this and we get along just fine."

"Zayn." He warned before standing up and walking his plate over to the dishwasher. I watched him move out of the room.

"Mate, I think its cool how you're changing for her." Harry spoke up, keeping his head low and scrolling through his phone. I scoffed at him.

"I'm not changing for her."

"Maybe not for her, but ever since that one night you've changed. You haven't had any other girl. Maybe we should get you one." Harry continued, glancing up. His green eyes dilated slightly before he stood from his spot, plate clear of any food.

"Just know that girls like that crazy shit."

"I don't care what girls like."

"You care what Grace likes."

I whistled low. There was no difference. I didn't like Grace. Maybe I wanted to be with her just to have sex with her. Because her low moans were the sexiest I've heard by far. Because her smile is so bright and young. Because she was so accepting of me...

She couldn't like me. She's with Calum now. They're doing the dating stuff. She had sex with me just so I could leave her alone. But I can't.

I can feel it now, sitting at this table alone. My body and mind needed her- both physically and emotionally. My heart rate had increased by talking about her. I was a mixture of horny and needy. It was weird, I've never quite felt anything like this.

Maybe I'm going crazy. Or perhaps I've passed that line. Louis always said to stay clear of the ones that weren't perfect, or the ones that weren't crazy bitches. Those were the ones that would screw with you- play around with how you felt and throw it in your face. He always said that they could never like someone like us.

I thought Grace was different. Obviously not.

Now I was mad. I hated it when Louis was right.

Why was I even thinking so in depth about this?!

I needed to go out. I looked at the clock. Dammit, I'll go to the gym after class. Right now I had a group of people in my living room that needed to get up. And emotional frustration to deal with.

All because of Grace.

Maybe I can find some dirt on Calum. I know he's weird and he's part of some weird illegal shit but I needed to find evidence. I think that would throw Grace for a loop and she would stay away from him. She could even come back to me.

Notes