A/N - I seriously suggest listening to 'Say Something' by A great big world, while reading this chapter! xx

Kasey's POV

Pain was a strange thing.

For me, it reminded me a lot of rain, the way everything turned dark and sad.

How it's impossible to escape and you can't run from it no matter how hard you try.

I must of tried so many times to run from this pain but it still caught up to me, just like the heavy rain droplets that scattered the wind-shield as Harry and I drove in the car.

There is not one single vivid or even faded memory in my brain of my parents yet it still hurts to know that they're gone.

Just about all of me wants to believe that it's not true, that maybe I read those pieces of old fragile paper wrong but where we are going now will forever prove to me that my parents left me to survive on my own.

The cemetery.

I was tired and drained from all these emotions but the squeaking of the wiper blades kept me awake and scared of the awful silence around me.

Harry had begged me to see for myself that they were at peace and to try and find closure but since I agreed he hasn't uttered a word to me.

I was already mad at Harry for the whole tattoo thing a few days ago but when I found those death certificates I just wanted to run, to be away from him since he obviously can't be bothered telling me the truth about my life before all this but just like pain, he caught up to me.

Why it is so hard for him to just tell me these kind of things is beyond me, I don't hide things from him and never things this big.

My thoughts started to drift away as the car slowed down before coming to a stop in an old and muddy looking car park.

I wasn't ready to get out yet and felt my eyes start to sting as a fresh set of tears balled behind my eyes, I closed them and took a deep breath as I felt the cold rush of wind hit me from Harry opening my door.

He just stood there and looked at me with his pleading and sad eyes, like he was waiting for me to give up and ask to go home but I couldn't do that, yet I couldn't move either.

Finally he let out a soft sigh and leaned over me to unbuckle my seatbelt, my breath was caught in my throat as he then placed a soft and lingering kiss on my lips.

The kiss almost felt like a goodbye but I don't understand why.

"Lets go sweetheart." Harry spoke up for the first time, his voice had a strained and saddened tone to it so without a word I took his hand he was holding out for me and jumped as he closed the car door behind me.

My nerves began to pick up as we passed through the gate and started to walk on the squishy grass.

I felt like we were walking for hours and couldn't take it as my tears fell down my cheeks before I had even seen anything.

Harry pulled me along for another few minutes before we stopped in front of one large headstone that looked like it was for two people, before I even had the chance to read it Harry turned me to look at him.

He was crying himself and for some reason that just made things harder.

He placed another soft kiss on my forehead this time just as I let a small sob escape my lips.

Finally he let go of me and I turned to the headstone while trying to wipe away my tears, I may not know or remember my parents but I can at least be strong for them.

Once my vision wasn't so blurred, I squinted my eyes to read the dark engraved writing.

In loving memory of Isabella and Mark Heather.
Isabella Heather, 1977 - 1997
Mark Heather, 1972 - 1997
Beloved parents of Kasey B Heather.

I blinked rapidly to warn off any more tears as I thought really hard about what it said.

They died the year I was born, giving me a faint idea of why I had no memory of them.

It would have shown my middle name that I have no recognition of but the rose bush that was planted underneath the headstone had grown to high and blocked off the writing.

I kneeled down and brushed away the old Autumn leaves the were scattered around the grave, I looked up at Harry to see he was still crying while every few seconds looking at the grave next to my parents'.

With him being distracted, I took the chance to try and move the rose out of the way so I could read it but Harry managed to grab my wrist before I could.

"Don't touch, darling." His voice still came out strained and I knew mine would too if I tried to speak so I slowly stood up and didn't try to fight him as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his warm embrace.

I wanted to be mad at him, I wanted to scream and cry for days but that wouldn't change anything.

Harry was absolutely and completely all I had to survive, and I don't know what I would do without him.

But that doesn't mean it hurts any less after admitting that.

Just as I let my tears flow once again and opened my eyes, I caught sight of the writing on the headstone Harry had been looking at.

I jerked away from his embrace and was again chilled by the cold air and heavy rain.

In loving memory of Desmond Styles.
1960 - 2009
Loved father of Harry Edward Styles and Godfather of Kasey Bambi Heather.

At first I couldn't process what I had just read, it didn't make sense in my head.

"M-my middle name is actually Bambi?!" My voice cracked as I spoke for the first time in hours and fell to the ground again and sobbed into my hands.

"Shhh." Harry cooed as he rushed to my side and rocked me slowly from side to side.

"N-No! You lied! All you ever do is lie to me!"

He didn't answer me but I heard his slight whimper as he stood up and scooped me into his arms. I was so angry and broken but yet I still found myself clinging onto his soaked shirt as I buried my head into his chest and blubbered and cried like there was no tomorrow.

---

The whole car ride home was silent except for the whimpers and gasps I would let out as the storm kept growing and the thunder and lightening frightened my already fragile self.

As soon as we were inside I ran upstairs to increase the distance between Harry and myself, I heard him sigh and curse as I ran into our room but paid no attention to him as I entered the wardrobe and stripped from my muddy jeans.

I then walked into the bathroom and almost immediately broke down again.



The person staring back at me was horrible and looked overwhelmed with pain right now.

And that was the moment I remembered a quote from a book Harry had brought me.

Pain demands to be felt.

It's so god damn true and I never realized that until now.

I rubbed my forehead and eyes as I tried to get rid of the growing headache I was receiving from all these emotions, I walked back into the bedroom with my hand still over my face and flopped onto my side of the comfy bed that I have missed over the past few days as I have been sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms.

When I finally opened my eyes again and sighed loudly, I saw a half empty bottle of alcohol on Harry's bedside table.

I had learnt about alcohol from Eleanor when we were at work but Harry as never let me try it saying that it's bad for me.

But I also remember him saying that it takes away his pain and that's why he drinks it.

Maybe it could take away my pain? Or at least make it more bearable.

Without a second thought, I rolled over onto Harry's side of the bed and gripped the cold glass bottle in my hand.

I ignored the strong and gross smell of the liquid and placed my lips around the edge before tipping my head back and drinking as much as I could before I felt like my throat was burning. I repeated the action a few times before it started to become a lot easier.

Please help take the pain away.

Notes

Surprise! Another update!

I tried to be a little more 'deep' in this chapter so let me know if it worked!

I literally typed this whole thing up today and nearly brought myself to tears while proof reading it!

Tell me what emotions you felt while reading this chapter! xx

And don't forget to vote! getting close to 100 votes!