His Princess

Time continued to roll on, and the third week of separation began. Days continued to drag by, and before I knew it, September was almost here. Liam was twenty-one, and it was just a couple of weeks before Niall turned twenty-one, too.

Whenever I saw Niall next, I would have to remember to give him his birthday present. Sure, it might be early or late, but I wanted him to have it.

The last day of August was coming to an end, and Niall was exhausted. This tour had been especially hard on him after starting back up, and I knew I was completely to blame. He blamed it on his head, but that was also my fault. Either way, he was too tired to Skype with me.

“Hard to believe we’ll soon have known each other for a month,” he said.

I nodded. “Really is. Seems like I’ve known you forever.”

He let out a huff. “You know, for someone who says they don’t wanna be with me, you sure act like you do. I mean, Em, how you’re acting is so confusing. Why can’t you just tell me how you feel?”

“Because I kinda want these feelings to just go away completely,” I said before I could think about it. I knew this must’ve surprised him, so I quickly went on. “It’s not because I don’t want you to be here. It’s just better for us both if you’re not in my life.”

“You deserve happiness too, Emimt!” he exclaimed. “Why can’t you accept this? Maybe it’s safer, but you only have one life to live. Don’t just not live because you’re a little scared! Be happy.”

“I don’t necessarily want to be happy,” I said. “I just want to stop feeling miserable.”

“That’s a terrible way to live life,” he informed me, rather irritated at me at the current moment.

“Well, fine,” I mumbled, but then, I went back to our previous conversation. “Some feelings don’t just go away, though, Niall. That’s why you were right to say I’m slowly giving in. I’m just currently avoiding these feelings.”

He exhaled sharply. “You can’t live that way, Em.”

Now, I was getting frustrated as well, and I really did just want to scream, so instead, I asked, “Can we just drop it?”

“Like it’s hot?”

He just said it without thinking, but it did lighten the mood. Only a little, though, because we still weren’t that happy with one another.

And then, of course, I have to go and ruin things again. “Why can’t you just give up on me?”

“Well, for one thing, you’re more important to me than you realize,” he started, but from the way he took a deep breath, I realized he wasn’t done. Not yet. “Then, there isn’t a day where I don’t, at some point, think of you. You’re also freaking adorable. Your laugh makes me happier than I can even begin to describe. Just seeing you smile or even thinking about you smiling makes me smile. Your eyes are so beautiful and mystifying that I find it quite difficult to pay attention to anything else. But, more than all of that, you know how to brighten my day without even trying. I’m not gonna lie and say these past couple of weeks have been happy for me, but when I talk to you, even when what you’re saying is some depressing shit, it just makes things better. Even though you try to fight it, knowing that you like me back makes me feel happy inside. It warms my heart. Basically, I just wanna wrap my arms around you and never let go. I want you to be mine. Emmit, I’ve realized recently how much you mean to me, and I can’t explain it. I just fucking miss you. All day, every day. And you have no idea how pathetic that makes me feel because sometimes I can’t even tell if you miss me back.”

“Of course I miss you,” I said, now a little pissed off despite every other sweet and incredible part of that speech. That last sentence, however, just irked me. “You know that. Why do you doubt that?”

“You seem just fine with going on as if nothing exists between us,” he said, but he quickly changed the subject. “Some days, I wish things had turned out differently.”

I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I had to start fighting tears at that point. In order to do so, I had to stay quiet and just cover my face with my hands, ignoring the fact that he was expecting a response.

“Are you gonna say something?”

“No,” I whispered, having to work to get the words around the lump developing in my throat. “Because I know if I say something, I’ll just start to cry. I’m done talking.”

“Don’t give up talking until there’s nothing left to say,” he said, and despite the fact that what he was saying scared me a little—the whole “wish things had turned out differently” thing—I felt reassurance. “Emmit, what does this mean?”

“We have unfinished business to sort out.”

“You and I will always be unfinished business,” he said, and he laughed a little. Mostly, the laugh was humorless, but there was still something there that gave me hope. “Look, I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to do tomorrow. Crazy day. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright?”

“Okay,” I said. “Talk to you then.”

He took a deep breath and began speaking in a gentle tone. “I miss you, you beautiful crazy girl who just so happens to be perfect for me.”

This made me smile, despite how scared I was on the inside. “I miss you too, silly gorgeous boy who just so happens to be perfect for me, too.”

“Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

And the moment I hung up the phone, I began crying. Was I too late? He sounded different, off in the way he said he had to go. Of course he wasn’t lying, but was he looking for an excuse to not talk to me? Was he finally getting to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore?

Was he giving up? Did I really want to let that happen?

The same question I had been asking myself for the past few weeks came back to my mind. Is this smart? Safe?

Who cares, Emmit? Give it a shot.

I almost felt like he was here, laughing at me trying contemplate this so thoroughly. I kept thinking back to that pure moment when I felt like nothing else in the world would do—no one else, really. Maybe I could do just fine on my own, but if you put me with one particular other person, we’re like a raging inferno.

Maybe if I finally got that kiss . . . .

No, Emmit!

Ugh. I don’t need a kiss to decide. I have to figure out what I want and what I need. I need water. I need food. I want Dr. Pepper. I want pizza.

I need someone to love me and care for me like no one else will, because even if it makes me weak, I can’t live on my own forever. I could survive in the real world and possibly fight for myself, but I couldn’t go the rest of my life without someone to talk to and someone to watch over me when I’m too weak to do everything necessary for life. I hate to break it to you, but no one can stay strong forever.

I want Niall.

Three words seemed to spark something new in my mind. Why Niall? Why did I have to want him? It would be so much simpler to want someone else, wouldn’t it? Someone else wouldn’t care for me like he clearly does. So is that it? I want Niall because he actually wants me?

No.

It’s more than that. Niall wants me, yes, but that doesn’t matter. When Niall started pursuing me, I didn’t run away from it, not until the full gravity of the situation started catching up with me. Well, okay, maybe I didn’t run because I didn’t realize it was really me that he liked, but still. I’ve continued to want him.

This was deeper than pure desire. I wanted Niall and only Niall for one reason and one reason only.

I had fallen in love with him somewhere in the middle of these short few weeks we’ve known each other.

It’s so simple, isn’t it? That explained it all, explained why each time I tried to run, he just kept coming right back to me asking me to just try. Yes, he was way out of my league socially, and we lived in two completely different worlds—three if you think about the two different worlds that I live in. Did he care? No. Did I care? No.

My life was going to be crazy. My uncle would be pissed, and he would probably hurt me a lot more. He already started getting worse due to the fact that this is my last year here, more than likely, but this would be something completely new. I was going to be swarmed on the streets, and my entire life could be thrown out to the public.

There was only one problem there, but I could talk this one through with Niall. We could work it out.

First things first . . . I probably needed to tell Niall about my decision, to try and see where being with him led . . . along with the other part of my life he knows absolutely nothing about.

Remember to thank the boys, Sparrow, Mika, and Maw.

How could I do it, though? I couldn’t say, “I was wrong. Can we try this?” because I wasn’t wrong. What I did was the right and smart thing to do. And I couldn’t tell him everything, could I? “Hey, I was wrong. I love you.”

No. Bad idea.

I was suddenly feeling stuffy, enclosed in the small dark walls of my room. They weren’t really small, and periwinkle isn’t usually considered dark, but it was dark out, and I suddenly felt alone. For whatever reason, I felt like I was being shoved in a tiny box, and all I could do is hyperventilate and curl up into the fetal position.

Niall has to know.

That’s when the answer became clear, what to do. Of course, I had to tell him. Besides, he would probably see it next time he took a good look at me, but I had to act fast. He possibly had today to think, just like I did, and what if he decided he didn’t want to chase me anymore?
What if by saying “I wish things had gone differently,” he meant with me? That he wishes he had just given up from the start?

I began getting jittery, scared this might be true, and I just started planning for the worst. In case this wasn’t true, though, I set out a plan to let him know what I had decided. Really, I had to just go right up to him and kiss him the next time I saw him, no matter where that was. If we were surrounded by crazed fans, I would kiss him right then and there. If the scary
management lady was there, though . . . oh man.

I got nervous as I thought about doing this, about kissing him so suddenly. What if he thought I was just a silly girl? Decided I wasn’t worth it?

I can’t do this. Can’t—no, Emmit! You are a strong girl. Maybe you have to have someone in your life to live it to the fullest and to live happily, to stay sane . . . and help when—stop! You are strong! You are determined to get him.

It was true. Niall was what I wanted, and as I’ve said before, I get what I want most of the time. When it comes to fashion, that’s a losing battle with Sparrow, Mika, and Maw, but other than that, I’m a stubborn person, and I will win in the end.

My heart finally won this battle. The war was over.

Niall, I am all yours.

Notes

The quote is an anonymous quote.

:3 I'm glad you guys enjoy the update. Hopefully you enjoyed this one even more. :D She's stopped being so stubborn. x3

Let me know what you think. I"ll try and keep posting more as much as possible. :)