His Princess

Seeing Niall dressed up in a suit in person was mind blowing. He had on a black suit and dark shirt with a deep purple tie, and the only thing I could think as I stared at him was just how attractive he looked. It wasn’t just some gorgeous guy in the suit. For the first time, I understood the meaning of the word handsome . . . along with a variety of other words that basically meant the same thing.

Niall looked at me the same way I looked at him, but I couldn’t imagine it was for the same reasons. I was sure I looked ridiculous whereas he looked like the perfect man, and I was gonna be on his side all night. The way he suddenly smiled at me, however, made me realize that maybe he didn’t find me as ridiculous looking as I imagined. Hell, the way he smiled made my knees feel wobbly, and I thought about caving then.

But I couldn’t. I had to be strong. It was what was best for the both of us.

Slowly, he began to spin me around so he could see every angle, and when he did, his smile turned into a crooked smile that made me want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with him. Everything inside of me was already going crazy, and more butterflies came fluttering into my stomach. Might’ve been a zoo even.

As Niall continued to look at me, I sensed something . . . off in the way he stood there, the way he had to force his hands into his pockets. Though his face showed nothing but excitement, his body was stiff.

“You look uncomfortable.”

His nose scrunched. “You’d think as many times as I’ve had to wear these things, I’d get used to ‘em, but they’re still pretty uncomfortable. When we have to wear them at shows, they usually end up coming off by the end.”

“Well, go change,” I laughed. “I’d hate for you to be uncomfortable.”

“I already packed everything,” he said, but he was laughing himself. “I’ll be fine.”

“At least take the jacket and tie off?” I suggested. “You’ll be more comfortable that way, I think.”

“Fine, but all of my stuff is already in the lobby,” he said. “So I guess let’s head down there.”

As the two of us stepped on the elevator, things got very quiet. Niall distracted himself by taking his tie and jacket off, but I couldn’t ignore how different things felt. Maybe it was because we were actually going on a date, but something about standing here while he made himself appear more casual was . . . different. It felt better, though, even if I didn’t know how to handle it.

He broke the silence very quickly when he looked over at me after taking his tie and jacket off. “I feel like I should put these back on. I’m quite underdressed.”

I shook my head with a smile. “No. This . . . Mika, really. I just let her have her fun.”

“You’re beautiful, Emmit,” he said.

His voice was so delicate and sincere that I literally couldn’t help myself. Before I could think, I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“You look incredible, Niall,” I said, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure he heard me. He seemed . . . off after I kissed him, even if it was just on the cheek.

Did I do the same things to him as he did to me?

As we got off the elevator, the hotel staff helped us get his stuff out to my Jeep. While they loaded his stuff into the trunk, Niall put his tie and jacket in his garment bag in the backseat. It got loaded up quickly, and Niall tipped them before the two of us started walking off.

“Definitely more comfortable now, but I think these sleeves are gonna irritate me all night,” he sighed. “Can you help me roll them up? I’m horrid at it. Caroline always has to do it for me.”

“Yeah,” I said, and we both stopped walking so I could get them looking nice. To be honest, it was a bit terrifying. I mean, if I didn’t do it just right and it looked uneven, Niall would have uneven looking sleeves in public. What may not seem like a big deal to normal people was actually a much bigger deal than people realized.

I knew that for reasons I wasn’t comfortable thinking about.

We kept up conversation as we started walking, but things got more difficult when people of the press began recognizing us. Awkward is really the more appropriate term. We ended up having to run away at one point, especially when they brought out cameras.

The alley we hid in was small, so Niall literally had me pinned against the wall. Despite the overwhelming sense of déjà vu—probably because Niall and I were in a similar situation just minutes after we met—I was okay with this situation, even if it was hard to function in.

With each breath, my chest pressed against his, and each breath grew more and more struggled, for both of us. He was breathing heavily and swallowing a lot, eyes wide as he looked down at me. I, on the other hand, was just breathing quickly and trying to keep my gaze on his eyes.

That didn’t actually help calm anything down, but we didn’t have to stay like this long.

It brought up a good question I had to ask him, though, as we slipped out of the alley and back onto the streets. “Okay. Niall, let’s say that I decide to try this. Are there still gonna be all kinds of crazy things about how you’re with this girl, or that girl?”

He nodded quickly and shoved his hands in his pockets. Those beautiful blue eyes drifted down to the ground as he took a deep breath. “Yeah. You’ll also be followed, just like Perrie, Sophia, and Eleanor. People will try and take your picture everywhere you go, try and twist everything into something it’s not. One day, you could be walking around the city and see pictures of me on a magazine with a random girl I don’t even know, claiming that it’s the new cheating scandal. It’s just . . . the crap you hear about me could be true, but it could also be as fake as the person writing it.”

“Okay,” I said. “I mean, I guess what you’re talking about is like the past couple of days times a million?”

“Oh, it definitely gets worse,” he agreed. “That’s the downside of dating someone who is even remotely famous. So many girls think they want this, but if they actually got it, they would hate it and hate the person they’re dating. It’s not easy.”

“I can handle hard,” I said. “If I don’t decide to do this, it won’t be because of that.”

“I know you could handle it,” he admitted. “Like I said, I’m not worried about you being able to handle it or not.”

“I wish that was the problem,” I sighed. “It would be so much easier to resolve if it was.”

His lips quirked to the side as he looked down towards the ground. “I like you. You like me. Why does it have to be so complicated?”

I didn’t have an answer for him, mostly because his question was a question of my own, so instead, I changed the subject. “Did you know that I talk in my sleep? One time, I told Mika to find me my purple fuzzy turtle.”

Like I hoped, it made him laugh and smile. Even though we had to face the facts, dates weren’t supposed to be sad. “You’re weird. I like you.”

In the past minute, he had told me twice that he liked me. Something that was so hard for me to accept and believe before was now impossible to deny, and he made sure of that. I had to admit, it was rather charming.

When we got to the place we were eating, we were both happy and laughing again. We didn’t even realize until we got to our table that we were holding hands, but even as we both stared at our interlocked hands, we didn’t pull them away. Only blushed and picked up our menus.

There wasn’t any conversation as we looked through our menus, but we were both hiding smiles behind them. It was adorable, and I was just beyond happy at this point. It felt like something I would do with the person I married one day, but I didn’t really know if the person I was gonna marry would get to be someone I actually loved.

But this felt so right. How can I fight something so perfect and right?

Somehow, I had to find a way. This was so bad for us both.

The waitress was clearly a fan, but she wasn’t allowed to ask for an autograph or pictures. She did, however, slip him her number while she thought I wasn’t looking. Niall was watching me as she did with curious eyes, but I just continued to read my menu with the same happy smile I had before.

“You saw that,” he said, not asked, as she left and went to one of her other tables. The man literally had to stand up and wave her down for her to see him, and she still didn’t look happy about leaving our table.

I nodded. Carefully, I sat my menu down and shifted my gaze to meet his. “I did, but I’m sure that’s not the worst thing a fan has given you.”

He shook his head. “Fans give us strange things. One threw naked pictures of herself at us. That, to me, is something very private, so we made sure to pick them all up and throw them away so no one else found them.”

My nose crinkled a little. “I don’t see how some people do that. I mean, I could not imagine even taking a picture like that of myself, much less throwing it at people. I just . . . .” I shook my head and looked back to Niall. “So, clearly, you could have any girl in this city, and you chose me. Why?”

He propped himself up on his hand as he continued to stare at me, his cute little smile on his face as he did so. “There was something about you. When I looked at you after we ran into each other, I felt something I never felt before when doing that. They say it’s impossible to find the right person for you with just a glance, but when I saw you, I wanted to talk to you. We ran into each other by chance, and turns out, you wanted to meet me. It’s still a little hard to believe, but these past couple of days, I haven’t been able to think about much else. I’ve had dreams, as I’ve already told you. I just . . . you’re so beautiful, and no other girl has had the impact on me that you have. No one else in this city is you, Em.”

I wasn’t sure if I was actually crying, but tears were definitely blurring my vision as I looked back to my menu. Of course, I was smiling brighter than I remember smiling in a long time—at least before he came into my life—but I was also blushing.

Niall laughed softly as he leaned over and brushed his finger across my burning cheek, which only made the rest of my body burn too. “Louis was right. You really do look away whenever someone compliments you.”

I shrugged. “I’m not used to it. It’s just how I am.”

“I think it’s adorable,” he informed me. “But you really should be used to it.”

I shook my head, no longer smiling as I looked at him. “Life’s harder than you think when your best friend is easily a nine and a half and you’re maybe a three, with the right lighting and only in certain pictures.”

“I don’t understand why you feel that way,” he insisted. “You’re beyond beautiful, Em, more so than any scale of numbers can describe. More so than I can even begin to explain. It’s not just beauty on the outside either, which is one of the things I love about you. You’re beautiful inside and out.”

Like I think he was hoping for, what he said got me smiling again, this time like a love-struck teenager, but I went back to being shy and hiding behind my menu. That made him laugh, but he started looking at his menu as well.

“You know, a boy’s sleepy voice is the sexiest crap ever,” I informed him randomly once I figured out exactly what I wanted. The thing that scared me about this place was that they had no prices on any of their food, so it was literally just one of those places you assumed you’d spend far too much money on.

Niall laughed. “Oh really? Is that so?”

I nodded and gave him a very decisive smile. “I love that. I’ve always wanted a guy to call me right before he goes to bed so I can hear his sleepy voice. That and I just . . . I wanna know that he cares, ya know? That he really does think about me when we’re not together.”

Suddenly, I felt strange for telling him this. How many times had he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me?

I laughed quietly and shook my head. “Sorry. Just something . . . random.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said, giving me a tender smile to go with the gentle way he said that. “I like knowing that.”

“And you, sir, you’re very attractive,” I said to once again change the subject. I didn’t like talking like this because the more intimate and personal things got, the more unwilling I would be to do what needed to be done. “Therefore, I will stare at you. That alright?”

He was now giving me a flirty smile in return as he leaned closer to me, the scent of his cologne overpowering my mind and turning me on again. I had never been turned on like this, overpowered by the sheer attraction I felt for someone, but it was just something about Niall.
“Only if you don’t mind me staring right back.”

I couldn’t speak, so I just shook my head and looked up for the waitress, who was conveniently on her way over. We both ordered, and she started flirting with Niall some. Niall was polite, but he didn’t flirt back or even smile much.

It made me so happy.

At one point, Niall excused himself and left for the bathroom. When he did, he left his phone, and after watching him get into it the few times he had the past few days, I had figured out the pattern for it. Very quickly, because I didn’t want him to freak out or anything, I took his phone and took a few pictures of myself. Somehow, they were all decent—the right lighting and just the right angle—so I didn’t delete any of them. I closed out of his camera and put it right back where it was. He came back very shortly after and didn’t even notice.

When we got done eating, the waitress took a picture of the check with his signature. It really didn’t surprise me, and I don’t even think Niall noticed. Either way, when we left, he did actually shock me when he started heading to the hotel.

“I have a very serious question for you,” he said. “Do you trust me to drive your Jeep?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Why not?”

He smiled brilliantly over at me and began rubbing circles on the back of my hand. “You know, I think you’re a drug.”

My eyebrows rose. “Really? Why do you say that?”

“I just get this . . . high feeling when I’m around you,” he said. “I’ve never been high, but that’s the only word I can think of. Beyond that, I always crave the time I’m with you. I can’t get enough of you.”

This took my breath away, literally. He didn’t notice, but I couldn’t respond like I wanted to for a few seconds—probably about fifteen or so.

So, when I finally got control of myself again, I smiled and said, “I could say the same for you.”

We got to the hotel shortly after that. As soon as we got in the Jeep, I requested that we take a picture for me to remember this night by, and he gladly agreed. So, with my phone, we took a few. Two were cute, smiling ones, and one was a totally goofy one. Once we got them, he started the Jeep and pulled out of the spot it was in.

Before getting out in traffic, he drove around the parking deck a couple of times, just to make sure he could do it on the right side of the road, and then, he went right out of town, past the neighborhoods I knew well, and off into nature. Really, it was hard for me to even see the road, but he seemed to know exactly where he was going.

My eyebrows furrowed. “Niall, where are we going?”

“I looked up this place online, and it took a bit to figure out exactly how to get here,” he informed me. “It was easier to just drive myself than tell you how to get here.”

“Where exactly is ‘here,’ though?” I asked, but when he began slowing down and parking, I realized where ‘here’ was.

It was a beautiful private little area with a large and gorgeous pond in front of us. There were all kinds of trees and flowers of all colors and such, but the most beautiful part were the variety of roses just five feet away from the Jeep.

“I love roses,” I breathed, barely even loud enough for myself to hear. I doubted he did, but just in case, I went on. “I still don’t know where this is.”

He let out a breathless laugh. “Uh, yeah. This is someone’s land. I called him and asked if it was alright for us to be out here. He didn’t mind. Nice old man.”

I looked over to him with bright eyes but a dim smile. “Why do you have to be so perfect?”

“I’m not perfect,” he said again.

I sighed. “Niall, I mean . . . you’re not like anyone else. From my perspective, you are perfect. No one is perfect, obviously, but you’re as close to perfect as I can imagine. You’re my kind of perfect.”

“I’ve wanted to hear you say that,” he admitted, giving me a sheepish smile as my eyebrows rose. “Really, though, Em, I just . . . don’t hold anything in. Some guys are worried about showing emotions and telling a girl how they really feel, but I just put it all out there. I open up and show everything. What’s there to hide?”

“Niall, this is incredible,” I said. “You have no idea how hard it’s gonna be to say goodbye to you.”

“It doesn’t have to be goodbye,” he reminded me. “That’s your choice.”

“If I could do what I wanted, I wouldn’t say goodbye to you,” I said, and surprisingly, I found myself able to look right at him as I said all of this. “I have to, though.”

He shook his head. “What are you so afraid of, besides something going wrong?”

I sighed deeply and shrugged. “My life isn’t good for anyone. My stepdad could and would hurt you if he got the chance. Then other things beyond that . . . . I screw things up and push people away. That’s how I am, and it’s what I do. I don’t try to, but it happens. Sparrow’s the only person, besides my family, that I haven’t done that to. That’s why no one at school likes me, besides all of my obvious problems. Anyone who gets too close . . . I just panic and get scared of losing them and push them away. I don’t want to do that, Niall. You’re different.”

“Then don’t push me away,” he whispered, voice so soft and perfect that I melted all over again. When I looked over at him, I saw him leaning against the seat with his head turned towards me and those cyan eyes practically pleading with me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Until something goes wrong,” I breathed, but I couldn’t look at him anymore.

“I think you’re scared of being happy for once in your life,” he finally decided, and when he said this, he sat back up and turned his entire body towards me. “Why are you scared to be happy? Happy is the best way to be.”

“I’m scared of being happy because it never lasts,” I said. I didn’t want to say it, but he had a way of getting everything out of me. Just like when I told him about my uncle and the way he beat me, I didn’t mean to go into it as far as I did, but I went into it because talking to him was the easiest thing in the world to do.

It was nice because I knew he was listening.

“Find someone who can make it last,” he said, as if that should be obvious. “You’re always happy with Sparrow. You seem to be happy with us.”

“I’m happy with just you, Niall,” I admitted. “But . . . if something goes wrong, there goes my happiness. It’s easier to choose to live without than to live without with no other choice.”

He had to think about that for a minute with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips turned into a small frown. “That makes no sense, Emmit.”

I shrugged. “It makes sense in my head.”

“I will do whatever it takes to make you realize that I can make you happier than you ever imagined,” he insisted. “I will do whatever it takes to make you see that something that feels this right can’t go wrong. What if you were really made for me?”

“If this is meant to be, it will be.”

“Not if you fight it like this,” he protested. “Things that are meant to be sometimes don’t happen. People choose to make things happen. They choose their own destiny.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I wish I could be something good for you.”

“Why would you want to just be good for me?” he asked, but something about the way he said it surprised me. “You’re already something perfect for me, but maybe one day we’ll be perfect for each other.”

“I think we already are.”

He exhaled sharply and then sighed. “Don’t tell me that. That just makes you fighting it hurt that much more.”

When I realized he was really getting upset, I tried to smile at him and placed a hand on his cheek. “Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.”

Something sparked in his eyes, something I didn’t recognize, but in just an instant, he was leaning in to kiss me. My first kiss.

But, when he was within a centimeter of me, I exhaled softly and squeezed my eyes shut. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“I’m gonna make this as hard for you as I possibly can,” he said, and a rather sexy smirk played on the edges of his lips. “I can’t just stop trying for this.”

I knew he was serious, so I didn’t continue facing him. Actually, I didn’t even stay in the Jeep with him. Very quickly, I scrambled out and leaned back against the door, looking up towards the very beautiful night sky like it was my last hope while my mind went on a frenzy. It was screaming for me to get home and away from him, immediately.

My heart was crying, though, crying for me to go back and kiss him and tell him I was his.

A war was starting inside of me, and both sides were determined to win. Both were strong and loud, and it was horrifying. I didn’t know which side would win in the end, and I didn’t know what it would mean for me. All I could do was just sit and wait and think. Decide.

Choose.

After a minute or so, I went back to the Jeep and looked directly at Niall, who looked quite sad but happy to be looking at me. “Okay. I’m not saying we should try this. I’m not saying we shouldn’t. I’m simply saying that I’m going to think about it some more.”

“Well, that’s not a no,” he decided. “And, unfortunately, I have to be getting to the airport. Plane leaves in a little over an hour.”

Everything inside of me froze as the reality that was inevitable caught back up with me. He was about to leave, and who knew when he would be back? Would he be back? Would this be the last I would ever see of him?

That all depends, Emmit. What choice are you gonna make?

It was a miserable ride to the airport. Neither of us said much, but the music was on. It was my music, so from time to time, a One Direction song came on. He kind of smiled about it, but he was really too upset about all of this to be his normal happy. I felt awful, but this was for both of our own good. Really, the boy deserved much better than me. I could be a threat, a danger to him. I could ruin his entire life.

At one point, Wherever You Are by 5 Seconds of Summer came on, and he sang right along to that. He even looked over at me from time to time, and I just felt terrible, like the worst person in the world. Honestly, I was scared about what would happen if his fans found out what I had done to the poor boy. What colorful names would they come up with to describe me? Would they threaten to kill me? Honestly, I could see that, and I wouldn’t blame them one bit.

I helped him get all of his stuff in and get all of his bags ready, but when it came time for him to step through security, that was when we had to say goodbye.

I knew I would cry, but I didn’t realize it would be as bad as it was. Niall was crying, too, and that just made me cry harder.

I threw my arms around him and hugged him, despite the pain it caused me. I hugged this boy tighter than I had ever hugged anyone, and he hugged me back to the same degree. Not only did he hug me back, but he also moved some of the hair behind my ears so he could whisper into them.

“I’m not done fighting for you, Emmit, ‘cause whether you believe it or not, you’re a girl worth fighting for.” Then, he started singing One Thing in my ear, and I lost it.

“Niall,” I whimpered, and I felt so weak. One Thing was pretty damn accurate to describe how we felt. “Please. I’m not worth all of this, am I?”

Through his tears, he gently tilted my face up towards his and looked me right in the eyes. “Yes, Emmit. You are.”

And after that, he had to literally pull himself away from me. It was too hard on him to do, so with a small wave, I did it for him. I took a few steps back, my lips quirked to the side while I watched the misery tear him apart, but I couldn’t handle it. I turned and ran right back out of the airport.

I had to look back. My heart didn’t allow me to just walk away, so I looked back at him. What I turned back to was that sexy boy looking back at me with bloodshot eyes and a pleading look.

Please, Emmit, think long and hard about this.

With a shaky breath, I nodded and took off for my Jeep. It was hard to do, but I managed to climb in just in time to start sobbing uncontrollably. Doing this hurt so badly, and my body was shaking, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I knew that for sure. As much as I hated crying, I had to let this out. I didn’t know what else to do.

The next thing I knew, my door was opening, and Niall pulled me into his arms and out of my Jeep. I was surprised, but I wasn’t going to complain, especially when he kissed my temple softly and began wiping my tears away, holding onto me like I was actually worth something.

“Listen to me, beautiful,” he said. “I’ll be back soon. I’m not promising any time this month, or even next month. I really don’t know, but I do know that I’ll be back.” And then, he kissed my forehead. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what I asked for, and that’s what he did. “Don’t forget about me.”

I gawked at him. “How could you think I could just forget about you?”

He actually smiled about that, but I could tell he wasn’t really happy as he began looking around. “I guess we have to get ready to say our goodbyes for real.”

I shook my head slowly and began biting my bottom lip. “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to say goodbye to you.”

He let out a soft groan as he turned away from me, hands over his face. “Emmit, I don’t understand you! One minute, you’re telling me exactly what I hoped you would. The next, you’re telling me that we can’t be together?”

“Niall, I promise I’ll think about it as much as necessary,” I whispered. “I wish I could just say yes, but it’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple,” he disagreed, no longer smiling or cheerful as he turned back to me sharply. “You’re just overcomplicating things.”

“Maybe I am, but that’s what I do, Niall,” I said, but on the inside, I began panicking. Was he mad at me now? Did he hate this side of me? “It’s part of it. You don’t like it? Fine, but that’s how I am.”

“It’s frustrating,” he informed me, but there was a deep tenderness to his voice that made my heart relax a little. “But I’ll accept that if it means getting through to you that this is right.”

“I know it is,” I said. “And I still wish it was that easy for me.”

He sighed. “Look, I would stay here and talk to you forever, but I gotta go see Theo.” With one final kiss on my forehead, he went right back inside and off to see his adorable nephew.

And I went right back home to cry alone in my room.

Notes

The lyrics are from The Promise by In This Moment.

Sorry it's taken so long! I'm pretty much working all the time now. So, sorry. xP

You guys are awesome for reading this far, and thanks for keeping up with it, despite the shady updates. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the delay!

Let me know what you think! :)