“Sous le dôme épais (Under the thick dorne)
Où le blanc jasmin (where the white jasmine)
À la rose s’assemble (with the roses entwines)
Sur la rive en fleurs, (on the river bank, covered with flowers)
Riant au matin (laughing in the morning)
Viens, descendons ensemble. (let us descend together).”

I was listening to the most beautiful song there is, the two female voices guiding my mind through its thoughts as black as the night surrounding me. My feet were dangling from the edge of the pool into the cool water, and my gaze was fixated on the stars and the moon above me, a cigarette dangling from my fingers and silent tears streaming down my cheeks.

It was one of those nights again. I had barricaded myself at our country estate a week ago, my only company our butler, some good old cases of Jura Superstition and my Black Djarums. I had started writing again.

I got up from my sitting position, having to steady myself a bit while I began walking over to the small table my laptop was perched on. I stared at the thousands of words there on the imaginary paper and deliberated whether to delete it all or not. Oh, fuck it.

Sitting down, I opened my mail client and sent the manuscript to my publisher, without so much as a comment. They would sure be surprised to get something from me, after two years of me refusing to write, but hey, better late than never.

I was about to drink the night away when my phone rang. I had been ignoring it for the last couple of days, but the name now shown on the display ignited my interest.

“Hello, Harry,” I answered, my voice curious, but cold.

“Roxana. How are you?” he asked slowly, in that deep voice of his. I took a deep drag from my cigarette before answering him.

“Why would you care? Why don't you just come to the point,” I let out, sounding neither annoyed nor angry or happy. Just... indifferent.

“I want to see you again,” he came straight down to it.

“Why?”

“Honestly? I want to fuck you again,” he said, his voice now slightly aggravated. I let out a short laugh before answering.

“You're just jealous I fucked your friend and now you want to make sure you're better than him.”

“Actually, Zayn's my bandmate,” Harry let out a deep breath. I arched an eyebrow. Interesting.

“I did not know that. Wouldn't have changed a thing, though,” I state, laughing dryly. I could hear him groaning into the phone. I was working him up.

“For fuck's sake, woman. You'll be the death of me,” he finally said.

“I told you not to fall for me,” I replied with a stone cold voice.

“I can't help it. I want you, but I'm not in love with you.”

“Yet.” There was a long pause after I had said that one word.

“Where are you now?”

“Ochrasy,” was my sarcastic answer. Only a selected few knew what Ochrasy was.

“Where? I've never heard of that,” he said, obviously confused.

“It does not matter, Harry. We had fun, but you're clearly developing feelings for me. And I don't do feelings.”

“Rox... please, tell me where you are,” he pleaded. I sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. I did want to see Harry again, but we were clearly steering towards an iceberg here. A fucking huge iceberg.

“What will you do when you see me? Confess your love? 'Save' me?” I spat, my voice dripping with poison.

“No, I know I can't. I just want to see you, feel you again,” he said matter-of-factly. I was silent for a few moments before I finally gave in.

“Manor Blackwood,” I told him and hung up immediately afterwards. If he wanted to see me, so be it. I was gonna show him the real me. My darkest self. Hopefully, that would scare him off once and for all.

I took the bottle of whisky, abandoning the still full glass and staggered inside. I quickly went into the kitchen, where our butler was reading a newspaper.

“James, I want you to go home, I'm expecting company. You may return the day after tomorrow,” I said and he just nodded. He knew when to follow my orders and when not. I watched as he quickly disappeared into his adjoining room while I went over to the keyboard by the door. I fetched the keys to my vintage Jaguar and tossed them to him with a wink when he came out with a small suitcase again. He just grinned, nodded his head and left.

When he was gone, I called a few friends of mine and ordered them to come to the manor as soon as possible. I was on the phone for quite a while until I was sure they were all coming. Laughing loudly, I brought the whisky bottle to my lips and started moving.

I strode into the huge hunting lounge and went over to my favourite painting, a Bruegel. I felt around the rim of the frame until I found the switch and the painting swung open. Clapping my hands excitedly, I came face to face with my brother's secret drug stash. Let the fun begin.

Notes

thanks for the lovely comments, guys :) you really make my day. all day, every day.