Roxana's POV:

After the boys had left my room, I finally looked at Louis. He was eying me with a concentrated look on his face. I slowly stretched out my hand towards him and he finally smiled a little. Taking my hand, he launched forward and lifted me up from the bed as much as possible, wrapping me in his arms.

I buried my face deep in his neck and inhaled the familiar scent. And that's when I lost it. At first it was just single tears dripping town my face, but in a matter of minutes, I was sobbing into his sweater, my whole body shaking.

I knew it must have been close. I felt like shit, every inch of my body hurt like it was on fire, and my throat was as dry as can be. Louis' grip around me tightened and he started rocking me back and forth slowly, stroking over my hair softly.

How long we stayed like that, I really don't know. All I did know was that I was dreading the moment we had to talk to each other. Because there were so many things that should be said, but so little that could be done. When we finally got out of our embrace, he leant his forehead against mine while his thumb was tracing down the salty paths on my cheeks.

“I am so, so, so unbelievably sorry. This is all my fault,” was the first thing he said and I winced involuntarily. Vehemently, I shook my head.

“No, please don't say that. I knew what I was doing. I was too weak to stop it,” I said, my voice strained. I closed my eyes and revelled in his proximity, knowing it could very well be the last time Louis and I were so close.

“We're really fucked up, aren't we?” he chuckled dryly after a few moments. One corner of my mouth curved into a smile while I looked into his eyes again.

“You're not. You're strong, and you were so good for me. But I'm fucked up, yes. I thought I could change. Turns out there's no going back,” I said softly. I knew it the moment I had that strange dream. I was the problem, not the boys. And I was going to destroy them and their friendships if I keep doing to them what I did these last couple of months.

“Roxana, you're not...” Louis started to speak, but I cut him off.

“We both know I am. It's fine, really. I guess I was born for it or something,” I said. Louis sighed deeply and leant in to give me a very soft and tender kiss. My heart started beating faster, and I almost started crying again. Why does it have to feel so good if it's so impossible to maintain?
We kissed for a couple of minutes before I freed myself from his hold. I was beginning to get really tired, and I needed to rest.

“I'm so tired, Louis,” I said to him, my eyelids heavy. He laid me down on the mattress, pulling the covers over my body.

“I know, darling. You need to rest. Want me to stay with you?” he asked hopefully, but I guess he already knew the answer.

“No. I want to be alone. But thank you for coming,” I said and he looked irritated. After a few seconds, he got up from the bed.

“I understand. Sleep tight, Roxana,” he said and bowed down to give me a soft kiss on the forehead. I smiled a little and watched him stand tall above my bed, deliberating what to do. He turned to walk out the door, but with his hand already on the door handle, he faced me one last time.

“You know I love you.”

And for the first time, I did not say it back.

---

I did not sleep very well at all. Doctors and nurses would come in at random and check a few IV's or ask me a couple of questions. In the early morning hours, I could hear someone sit down on the chair beside my bed, but I was too tired to open my eyes and check.

I finally woke up when a bright ray of sunshine hit my face. I blinked against the light and hoisted myself up. When my vision became clear, my gaze fell on a slumped figure next to my bed. Curled up in the most uncomfortable chair there must be was a certain curly-haired boy.
His mouth was a little ajar while he was softly snoring. I smiled for a short moment before I laid down again, adjusting the bed so that I was sitting up a bit more. The soft hum of the bed engine woke Harry up and he looked around dazed and confused.

“Hey Rox,” he finally said and stretched his long limbs.

“What are you doing here?” I asked straight ahead.

“I'm waiting,” he answered.

“What for?”

“You'll see,” he said and stood up “I need some coffee, be right back,” he said before he strolled out. I huffed and threw a pillow after him. The tosser didn't even ask if I needed something.
I was furious with him. Who did he think he was? Coming in here in the middle of the night, giving all cryptic answers, not even talking to me properly, and then he walks out without even caring about my needs? I really fucking hated Harry Styles right now. The only problem was that I had nothing to do except wait for him. I had no phone, no magazines, no nothing.

Ten minutes passed before he came back, strolling in at an awfully slow pace. He tossed a couple of things on my bed and my eyes widened. Vogue, Cosmopolitan and The Guardian were sprawled on the sheets along with some Chanel nail polish in my favourite colour and a tub of the Givenchy night cream I so adored. My mouth fell ajar.

“How?” I asked, watching Harry munch away on a croissant, a cup of steaming coffee in his other hand.

“You think I don't pay attention, but I do. I care about you,” he simply said and I gulped, suddenly overwhelmed with affection.

“I don't deserve any of this,” I said, looking back down at my hands. I heard him shuffle around and the bed dipped down. Cupping my chin with one of his huge hands, he tilted my head up.

“You do. You deserve to be given a chance to work on yourself. We need to get you rid of your demons. For once and for all,” he said with a stern look. I got lost in his eyes. The green drew me in like it had so often before, and I felt absolutely exposed under his stare. I tried to speak, but no sound would come out.

“I was so scared when I heard what happened. All I could think about was how it would be like without you. How I could not live without ever having given us a proper chance. And that would have been horrible. I still want you, Rox. I always have. But we need to work on it first,” he said and my throat went drier with every word. How did I deserve someone so kind to care about me?

“It's why I called your parents. They should be here in the afternoon. Then, we'll talk about options,” he continued and my helplessness suddenly got replaced by anger.

“You did what?” I almost screamed at him. He flinched, but he didn't seem surprised at all.
“They need to help you with this, Rox,” he said, but I shook my head.

“No, no, no! They have never cared about me, why should they now? I know more about my nannies than I do about my mother and father! I will not let them dictate my life anymore, Harry. I stopped them from doing it 10 years ago!” I said furiously.

“Rox, this is not what they want. It's what you need, trust me!” he almost screamed back, but I was still angry.

“How would you know that, huh? I haven't seen you in ages, and now you think you can barge in and decide what's best for me? How dare you!” I punched his arm with my last words. He didn't move.

“Rox... stop it. Please,” he said silently, but I was still boiling. My whole body was shaking with rage, and so I hit him again. And again. My tiny fists didn't do much harm on his body, and he just let me. After a couple of moments, though, my strength faded, and I slumped my back.
Harry caught my wrists and slowly pulled me into his body. I didn't protest as he embraced me, holding me against his chest.

I was tired, so tired. And it was all pointless. I knew deep down that he was right, I just didn't want to loose my pride. But as I lay in Harry's arms, I also knew that I did not have to fear that. Harry had always seen the real me. He liked me with all my flaws and demons, and he wanted me to improve. And there was a slight chance that he, on the contrary to Louis, could.

Because even though he had never said it, he loved me. And he meant it.

Notes

soooooorry for the long wait, I hope I did not disappoint.

liked it?
what do you think will happen next?
are Louis and Rox over?

please leave a comment!