3 weeks later:

Roxana's POV:

I was just coming from a meeting with a new aspiring designer who wanted me for the face of his debut campaign, when I was in desperate need of caffeine. There was a nice little coffee shop next to his atelier, so I quickly dashed inside and ordered a cappuccino, triple shot. I sat down at a table in the back and flicked through his makeshift-catalogue. The clothes were actually really nice, but I didn't know if I wanted to give me face to a complete newcomer.

The chair in front of me made a screeching noise and I looked up when two young girls stood in front of me with a furious expression. I knew what the were the first moment my eyes fell upon them.

“Can I help you?” I asked, my voice a bit strained.

“You're a slut,” the first one said and I huffed.

“Is that all you got? Fuck off,” I mumbled and gave them an icy look.

“I bet you fucked all of them, but the rest got tired of you, so Louis was so nice to take you in,” the second one said and I rolled my eyes. Ever since our relationship became public, I had to deal with a load of crap.

“Do yourselves a favour and fuck off now before I get real pissed, girlies,” I replied. They looked uncomfortable, but the majority in numbers made them strong.

“Leave them alone you cunt! They deserve better than you!” number 1 now basically spat at me. That was it. Slowly, I got off my seat and planted myself in front of them. I was at least 2 inches taller than the two.

“Leave. Now. Or I'll fucking bash your stupid little heads in with my Louboutins,” I said menacingly and their eyes widened in fear. Number 2 clung to number 1's arm and began dragging her away. I watched with a hard look while they shuffled out of the little coffee place, already typing away on their cell phones. Brilliant. More bad press.

Defeated, I slumped down in my seat when they were gone and took a deep sip of my coffee. But the caffeine could not still my need for distraction. I had not touched coke in the three weeks I was with Louis now, and I was in desperate need of a good line right now. Being Louis' girlfriend was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I was slowly, but surely, crumbling into pieces. You can only take so much hate at a time.

I sighed and took out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I landed at the very last of them. I pushed the call-button and waited. One ring, two rings, three rings...

“Roxana?” he answered, sounding surprised.

“You at home?” I asked bluntly.

“Yeah, why?”

“Got some powder?” I continued.

“Always. Wanna come over?” he caught on my desires.

“Be there in 10. Thanks, Zayn,” I said and hung up before he could even reply. I packed my things and got out of the little shop, dropping my half-full cup of coffee into the nearest trashcan before I hailed a taxi. Fuck that shit.


Zayn's POV:

I paced around nervously in my apartment, waiting for Rox. I was confused as can be. I had to admit, I did not see the whole Louis-thing coming, and Harry and I didn't talk to him for a whole week after they told us, but eventually, we got over it. Anyways, I was with Flo now. She could give me all I needed. Almost. There was a lot of passion, yes, and we got along outside of bed as well, but she seemed almost... shallow. Roxana was a deeply tormented soul, I could see it in her eyes, but Flo was just a rich kid who had a drug problem. I could not connect to her in the same depth I had done with Rox.

My doorbell got me out of my thoughts, and I quickly opened the door to let Rox in. She looked rushed, almost panicked, and darted straight past me into my living room.

“Where's Flo?” she asked, surprised not to find her best friend in there.

“France with her parents,” I replied and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I forgot...” she said and sat down on one of the sofas. I sat down next to her and eyed her profile for a few seconds.

“You did not come here to see her, did you?” I asked, my voice low. She turned her head and looked at me, and I almost gulped. Her eyes were bluer than ever before, and the look she was giving me was... dangerous.

“No. Not exactly,” she mumbled and I nodded and reached for the coke on my coffee table. I made a few lines and handed her the small mirror. She took the rolled-up hundred next to the lines and snorted a total of three. My eyes widened. Someone was desperate.

“Aaah!” she exclaimed and fell back into the sofa, rubbing her nose, a content smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“Why don't you have something at home?” I asked before I snorted one line myself.

“Louis. He cut me off,” she replied and my brow shot up in surprise. So that's how it worked...

“Good for you,” I said and made myself comfortable right next to her. She snorted sarcastically.

“It's not. I have to deal with those crazy fangirls of yours on a daily basis, and my mother is pestering me to meet the man who has 'domesticated' me, and I just need a fucking break!” she exclaimed, and I saw how much of a struggle she was in.

“Our fans are harassing you?” I asked curiously.

“Course they do. I got called a cunt at least three times today,” she said and reached for a pack of fags from her bag. I watched her as she lightened up one of her black cigarettes and inhaled greedily. Softly, I placed my hand on her thigh and squeezed gently.

“Fuck them. You're better than them. They're just jealous of you,” I tried to comfort her but she let out a sarcastic laugh once again.

“Yeah, right.”

“I mean it, Roxana. Don't let them fuck with your head,” I said earnestly and she looked at me. We locked eyes for a few seconds and I got completely lost in them once again. Even though I was with Flo now, I was still not fully over her. If only I could...

“They don't. I fuck myself up all the time,” she replied after a while and I sighed deeply.

“Need more?” I asked, handing her the mirror and she eagerly nodded before crouching over the table once again.

I knew I shouldn't do it. I knew I should talk to her. I knew I should probably talk to Louis. But if there was one thing in this world that I wanted, it was to make Roxana happy. And if I could accomplish that by giving her cocaine, than that's what I would do.


3 hours later

The party was in full swing. How it came to be, I had no idea. After chilling out for a while, Roxana had decided that we needed company, and so she had rung up some of her 'friends', which were now in my apartment. Loud music blasted from my speakers, and the air was thick with smoke and the scent of alcohol.

I walked over to my sofa, where Rox was chilling like a queen, a blunt in between her lips, her legs draped over Nick Grimshaw. I sat down next to them and reached for the blunt.

“Zayn! Good party!” Nick said and grinned like a cheshire cat. Yep, he was high as a kite. Even I felt all bubbly and soft due to the drugs in my system, and Roxana's eyes were half-closed most of the time. I had never seen her that affected by substances, but I guess after weeks of no drugs at all, her body wasn't used to them anymore.

“Thanks, Nick. But it was Roxana's idea,” I said back and took a deep drag.

“I was in need of some distraction,” she commented with a husky voice, her mouth curling up into a devious grin. Little beads of sweat had formed on her forehead, and I got slightly worried there for a second.

“Aw, what's up, buttercup? Your new popstar boyfriend not treating you well?” Nick asked and Roxana huffed.

“It's the fans. They're harassing her,” I said, knowing Rox would keep silent.

“Those little shits. Don't listen to them, honey,” Nick commented and patted her knee.

“Not planning on it. Pass me the coke, please,” she said and I looked at the table only to see that there was none left.

“I got some leftover in my bedroom, wanna come?” I asked, standing up and extending my hand to her. She shrugged her shoulders and took it, following me through the mass of sweaty bodies erratically dancing around. I had to concentrate very hard to see my surroundings clearly while her hand clutched to mine with a death grip.

We arrived in my room, and she dropped down on the bed immediately. I fetched the powder and some pills and laid down next to her. She was in a flirty mood now, stroking one hand absent-mindedly down my arm. My skin tingled underneath her touch, and I wanted her so badly.

“Here,” I said and handed her the mirror. She took a huge line and smiled up at me. Before I could react, she was in my lap, latching her lips onto mine. I groaned into the kiss, leaning back with her on top of me. Even though she was Louis' now, I could not help myself, I would never say no to her.

“I missed you,” she hummed into my ear while tracing tiny bites down my neck. I pushed her closer and revelled in the feeling of her on me again.

She stopped for a second and reached for two pills from the bedside table, swallowing one and putting the second one on her tongue. Leaning down, she gently transferred it into my open mouth and we kissed passionately after. I was so happy at that moment, not due to the drugs, but due to Rox. She was right where I wanted her.

If I would have been more observant, I would have felt her skin getting colder and colder, her movements sloppier and sloppier. I would have guessed that something wasn't right. But I was too occupied with the gorgeous girl who just fit me so well, that I didn't realise the state she was in until she fell off of me, and to the floor.

“Rox?” I asked, suddenly panicking while I knelt down next to her on the floor. Her eyes were half-closed, and her breathing shallow. She was white as a piece of paper, and completely still.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Rox, come on, wake up!” I shook her vehemently, but she didn't move. Suddenly, her whole body jerked to the side, and white foam was coming out her mouth and nose. Oh, no. Rox had overdosed...

While I quickly fetched Nick and had him call the ambulance, I cradled her lifeless body in my arms, wiping away the foam that was slowly dripping down her chin. She did not respond to any of my frantic calls or shaking, and I could feel hot tears running down my cheeks.

Rox wasn't ready to go. I wasn't ready to loose her. She could not leave me just like that. I was so scared. Scared for her and myself. Because god knows what I would do if she died, having overdosed under my watch.

The ambulance workers had to pry me from her body while they set her an IV and put her on a stretcher, rolling her out of my house. Nick and I followed, the rest of the guests were already gone.

Outside, we encountered a horde of paparazzi, trying to get a shot of Rox's veiled body or my bloodshot eyes. Nick hailed a cab and we followed the ambulance while I made the hardest call of my life.

“Zayn, mate! What's up?” Louis answered on the second ring, sounding chipper. I swallowed hard before I found the courage to talk.

“Louis, it's Rox... you need to come to the hospital.”

Notes

soooo.... are you guys shocked? saw it coming?

what do you think/hope will happen next?

who do you ship Rox with?

please leave a comment :)