Ruining Me~On Hold

Jane's P.O.V
Two years ago, I learned the hard way that every moment of our lives defines everything we are and everything we will be. These moments either bind us deeply to reality or sever the ties that bind us to it. In those precious seconds, we must decide which path we will choose: the path of like or the path of death.
My path has been chosen, and my time on this earth is limited. I know this with every single breath I take, with every sunrise and sunset I see. I have total control of it. It will be my choice, my time, and my decision, but today is not that day. Today, I look around me at the some sight I've seen every morning for the past three years. The same brick building that I stood staring up at my freshman year. The sign on the front reads Jackson Heights High School.
Looking up at the massive two-story building, I can honestly say that I will not miss it. At all. It's my first day of senior year, and by all accounts, it should be the best one yet. After all, it's the one everyone has looked forward to since the first day of kindergarten when they stepped into the hallowed walls of a school building. I, however, am not the girl I once was. I see my old best friends, Monica and Liam, sitting on the entrance steps laughing. Turning back to the parking lot, I spot Harry Styles, my ex-boyfriend, smiling and kissing the once that replaced me, Stacie Barrow, while leaning against his shiny red Ford truck. I guess we all moved forward.
My focus drifts back to Monica. Her red hair shines brightly in the morning sun almost like its on fire. She glares at me and leans down to whisper something to Liam. Looking down at my feet, the pain consumes me. I know I'm not the only one remembering how close we once were. Our parents had been friends in college, and we all grew up on the same street. "Thick as thieves," my dad used to say. There's not a single childhood memory that doesn't involve them. My heart begins to ache, and my eyes glaze with tears I thought I could no longer shed.
Taking a deep breath, I compose myself. It's a hot muggy Georgia morning, and if I stand here knee-deep in memories and longer, I may melt. Even in a barley there yellow t-shirt, blue mini jeans just enough to avoid a trip to the principle's office, and a pair of yellow low-top Converse, I'm sweating or, as my southern grandmother would say, "glistening." Thankfully, I pulled my long dark hair up into a ponytail this morning, and my choice to wear nothing but lip glass means no ridiculous colors are sliding down off my face.
Walking towards the steps, I hear a deep voice behind me.
"Hey Jane, Wait up!"
I turn to see Niall Horan smiling back at me. Ni and I go way back to kindergarten where we bonded over food. I used to feed him my lunch all through elementary school, and somehow in his mind, this equated to best friend statues. Now, he is two-hundred plus pounds rock solid teddy bear, and as starting offensive lineman for the Jackson Heights Bulldogs. He is also the one person that I can talk to. When everyone ditched me as the result of my relentless cold shoulder and bitchy ways, he kept coming back for more. After a while, he wore on me, and I decided that I would just have to get used to the big guy. Ni throws his massive arms around my shoulder and gives me a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek.
"Geez, Ni. Happy to see me?" I can't help smiling.
"Yeah girl, it's been a long hot ass summer, and we're finally seniors. We're going to rule the school and all the shit. Now, tell me how much you missed me."
I chuckle because, honestly, I have missed him. I chose to ignore his hundred million text messages and calls this past summer and kept to myself just like the previous year. My motto was no lake, no parties, and no people. My smile fades as I glance at him. He looks serious all of a sudden. Ni moves his hand to gently lift my chin and look into my eyes.
"Jane, I've been thinking, and I need to get this out. This is our last year in high school. You can change this. It's not too late." I grab his hand in an effort to push it away from my face, but he holds tighter. "Don't do this. Don't keep pushing everyone away," he says as his eyes plead with mine
The painful sincerity in his eyes takes my breath away. Somehow, it's like he knows my secrets and intentions. Shaking my head, I force his hand away from my face.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Ni. Just leave it alone," I say to him.
"It doesn't have to be this way, Jay. Everyone misses you, and we want the old you back."
"We? As in your best friend Harry? I don't think so, Ni. He was "making out" with his new girlfriend in the parking lot. It really looked like he was missing me," I responded sarcastically, with pain laced in my voice.
"What? You want him begging at your heels after you screwed everyone else but him?"
My eyes bulge out of my head. Ni looks shocked those words came out of his mouth, and before he can say anything else, I quickly walk the other direction. I hastily climb the steps and squeeze through the front door passing Monica and Liam pushing back the tears, just as I've been pushing them all away.

Notes

Hope you guys like it! :)

Vote
Comment
Subscribe