Esoteric.

“What the fuck man?” Louis asked coming out of his shocked state.

Zayn stayed quiet, his eyes trained on Louis. Well this was awkward. I walked back as indiscreetly as possible.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Shiloh snapped, breaking the silence. And once again, he said nothing.

“Um. I’m going to go.” I mumbled to Shiloh. She nodded, giving me a small smile. Kept my head down as I pushed through the crowd that had gathered once everything had happened. What had happened? I don’t even understand. Serves me right for making out with Louis in front of everyone.

The cold air flew around me making me instantly regret my earlier choice to drink. Looks like I’ll be walking home tonight. Oh how wonderful. At least I decided to wear my vans instead of the heels Shiloh tried to force on to me.

Partly down the street I could hear a car slowly coming up from behind me. Just fucking great, I’m going to get abducted. I glanced back, my nerves instantly calming when I realized who’s car it was. Why was he following me?

“Em!”

Maybe if I pretended to not hear him he’d leave.

“I know you can hear me.”

I paused turning to face him. “Yes.”

“Are you mad at me?”

Was I mad at him? Ha. Why would I be mad at him? “No, Why would I be mad at you?”

“For what happened back there?”

“It was just a dare Zayn.”

He nodded seeming to take in my words. Silence, once again. Could any conversation between not involve an awkward silence.
“Let me give you a ride home.”

“No. It’s fine. I can walk.” I really didn’t want to walk, but I wasn’t going to get in trouble for accepting a ride from Zayn again. Though she couldn’t really yell at me seeing as we drove her car here and if I were to take her car without her, I’d get yelled at too. Either way, I lost.

“I’m not going to let you walk home at two in the morning by yourself.”

“Really Zayn, it’s fine.”

“Please just get in the car.”

I sighed knowing he wouldn’t give up until I agreed. I mean unless one of us told her, how would she find out? Opening his door, I was greeted with the heat inside his car. My legs were absolutely freezing.

“So, are you going to tell me why you did it?”

“Did what?”

“Zayn.” I knew he knew what I was talking about.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” How does someone not know? Honestly.

He stayed quiet for a few moments before stopping. I looked out my window realizing we were already in front of my house.

“Night Em.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“I’ll see you at school.”

I nodded. Of course he wasn’t going to tell me. “Thanks for the ride, again.” He gave me a small smile as I climbed out of his car. I didn’t hear him pull away until I had actually stepped foot inside my house. What the hell even went on tonight? I removed all the clothes I had borrowed from Shiloh replacing it was a large jumper. Crawling into bed I hear my phone ding. I grabbed it sliding my finger across to unlock it. I clicked on my texts to see an un-read one.


'We need to talk.'


-Zayn's Point of View-


I honestly didn't even want to come tonight. I hadn't planned on coming until I over heard Shiloh convincing Emerson to go. I was standing around chatting with Louis and Liam when I saw her looking my way. I could swear she was looking at me, but then again. Why would she be?
"I'll be right back." I said cutting Louis off in the middle of one of his stories. Not really caring about what he had to say. I turned back around and started making my way over to her. I know Shiloh had told me to stay away from her but I couldn't and I didn't see her around anyway.


"Hey." I smiled, trying to sound confident. She looked at me wide eyed for a few minutes before actually speaking.


"Mmm. Hi." She spoke in her soft voice.


"What are you doing here?" Really Zayn? What is she doing here? What the fuck do you think she's doing here. It's a party.


"Your sister drug me here and then ditched me. Like usual."


"Sounds like her."


"Yeah." She smiled at me. God I loved her smile.


"She made her wear her clothes too, didn't she?" I asked taking in what she was wearing.


Though it wasn't her usual attire she still looked absolutely gorgeous in it.


"Uh yeah." She mumbled, obviously embarrassed covering her stomach.


"Why are you covering your stomach?


"I uh I wasn't." She lied.


"Yes you were. I've known you your entire life. I'm pretty sure I can tell when you're lying." "No. I mean. I was just..." She said struggling with her words.


"My point exactly." I smirked "You don't need to hide anything.""I wasn't." She lied again.
"Yes you were but there's no need. You're beautiful." Did I seriously just say that. Oh god.
She looked down trying to conceal her blush from me. Without even thinking I slid my forefinger under her chin bringing her face back up to face mine. "You're pretty adorable when you blush." It was like word vomit. I couldn't control it. Words just kept pouring out without any hesitation.


I started leaning in. I couldn't think of anything else but the very fact that I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel her soft lips pressed against mine. I wanted to be able to wrap my arms around her thin waist and hold her close to me. Taking in her amazing scent of perfume and conditioner. I wanted her and there wasn't anything stopping me this time.


"What the actual fuck Zayn?" Just like that everything was ripped away. I immediately backed up, shooting my gaze to floor beneath me.


"Let's go Em." She said tugging her away from me.


I wanted to chase after them. To tell Shiloh to fuck off, but I couldn't. How did I even know she'd kiss me back. She probably wouldn't and I'd just look like an enormous creep throwing myself at her.


I walked to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water when something caught the corner of my eye. I walked a bit closer to hear what was exactly being said.


"I dare you to kiss...Louis." I felt my entire body tense as the words left Harry's mouth. Are you fucking kidding me. I watched as she slowly crawled to the center of he circle where Louis already was. I saw him whisper something into her year before pressing his lips to hers.


Stay calm Zayn. It's just a stupid game. She doesn't even like you. Don't do anything stupid. I tried to reason with myself, though it came to no avail. Before I could stop myself I was walking, rather quickly to where this ludicrous game was happening. I didn't care about anything right now. All I wanted was to get Louis' hands and mouth off of her.


I gripped the back of his shirt whipping him back so that he was laying on his back beneath me. Everyone went silent as I stood there breathing heavily over him.


"What the fuck man?" Louis asked looking quite shocked. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I mean what was I suppose to say?


I eventually stepped back letting him stand up.


"What the hell is wrong with you?" Shiloh snapped from beside Emerson. I watched as she whispered something into Shiloh's ear before walking away and out the front door, but not before she looked back her eyes meeting mine.


I walked away without saying anything and went to get my car. I drove along the road until I saw a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk barefoot. I rolled my window down driving along side her.


"Em."


She pretend like she couldn't hear me. Was she mad at me?


"Emerson I know you heard me."


She stopped turning towards me. "Yes."


"I'm sorry."


"For what?"


So she wasn't mad.


"For what I did back there." I explained.


"You don't need to be. It was just a stupid game."


"I know but I still shouldn't have done that."


"Then why did you?"


I stayed quiet for a few moments debating on whether or not I wanted to tell her.


"Let me give you a ride home." I stated. I really couldn't have that conversation right now.


"It's fine, really."


"You always say that."


"I don't mind walking."

"But I do. It's dark out, I don't want you too."


"Zayn, really."


"Emerson, please just get in the car."


She sighed finally walking over and sliding in the passenger side. We both stayed quiet.


"So are you going to tell me why you did it?" She asked finally breaking the silence. Thankfully by the time she did we were already at her house so I didn't need to come up with an excuse.


She looked out the window surprised to see we were already home.


"I'll see you later." I said doing my best to smile.


"Yeah. Thanks for the ride, again."


"No problem."


"Bye." She said opening the door.


"Bye Em."


I made sure she was safely inside before pulling away. I could've kissed her. I could have done it and no one would have stopped us. What the hell Zayn? I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't do it because if she had denied be it would've hurt more than it not happening.


"Zayn!" I heard Shiloh's voice ring through the house. She was pissed. I knew she would be, but it was like I couldn't help myself. There she was all perfect and gorgeous as always staring at me with those big blue eyes. I sighed sitting up. Attempting to get ready for what was about to come.


Just as I expected my door flew open with force.


"Zayn." Her face was red with anger and I'm sure the amounts of alcohol she had consumed wasn't helping either.


"What?"


"You know exactly what!" She shouted. She's lucky mom wasn't home.


"Nothing happened."


"Because I stopped it before it could!"


I remained quiet not knowing what else to say.


"I told you to leave her alone! She doesn't even like you! She's never going to. Give it up already."


Though she had told me this many times. It never hurt any less. "I know. I'm sorry."


"Sorry doesn't cut it! You almost kissed her!"


"It won't happen again." I spoke, although I knew I'd have an extremely hard time controlling myself. Especially after getting so close to it.


"It better not. I swear to God, Zayn! Stay the fuck away from her."


"Why do you even care so much?"


"Because she's my best friend! She doesn't even want you. I don't get what you don't understand. She thinks you're an obnoxious prick who sleeps with too many girls."


Ouch. I mean, I know I'm not going to win the best boyfriend award anytime soon but still. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek to keep my eyes from watering. I looked back to Shiloh who was staring at me waiting for an answer.


All I could manage was a simple "K." Thankfully she accepted it and left. Leaving me to sulk by myself. She thought I was a prick? I'm not saying I can't be one but I don't think I'm one on a regular basis.


Maybe I was.

Notes