Esoteric.

Zayns point of view.

It was almost four in the morning and I was still laying wide awake. No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep. Not when I had a barely dressed Emerson laying right next to me. I did my best to not stare at her legs when I walked back into the room but I clearly couldn't help myself.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I couldn't keep messing with her. I knew what the consequences would be if I were to do anything with her, but on the other hand not being able to kiss or hold her whenever I wanted to was just as bad. I shifted, taking in every gorgeous feature that was her. She looked more innocent that usual in her sleeping state.

"Why are you watching me?" She asked quietly scaring me half to death.

"I wasn't." I blurted out, embarrassed.

"Yes you were." She laughed quietly.

"I don't. I mean, I didn't mean too."

"You didn't mean too?" She smiled finally opening her eyes, looking directly into mine.

"I, uh. I mean."

"Are you okay?"'

"Yeah. I just. . ." I never in my life have felt so embarrassed. She chuckled at my loss of words.

"What are you doing still awake?"

"I can't sleep."

"How come?"

"I don't know." Although I knew exactly what the reason was, it's wasn't like I'm going to tell her that. She nodded as we fell into a silence.

"Em?"

"Yeah."

"Can we talk?"

"Um, I guess."'

"I want to be with you."

"Zayn, please don't."

"No. Please just listen to me."

"You've asked me so many time to just listen to you and every time I do all you tell me is more things I don't want to hear."

"I know. I just. . .If there was any way for us to be together without Shiloh freaking out then I would, in a heart beat."

"We wouldn't have to tell her."

"What?" I asked shocked that she would actually agree to that.

"Nothing." She mumbled so quietly I barely heard her.

"No. I mean, I heard you I just. . .we'd have to keep our entire relationship a secret." She stayed quiet, yet again making me nervous. "Not that I wouldn't gladly do that just to date you, I just wouldn't want you to have too compromise what you want in a relationship just to be with me."

"Compromising what I want in a relationship to be with you would be more than okay with me." She whispered.

"Really?"

"Yes." she murmured giving me a small smile.
----
Emerson's point of view.

I couldn't even believe this was happening. Was it really, or was I actually fast asleep having the most amazing dream I've ever experienced. Let's pray to God it's the first one.

"So. . ." I spoke out once Zayn had failed to say anything.

"I'm sorry. I just, I don't want to fuck this up."

"Well then you better not screw up." I said attempting to lighten the mood. Which was a success seeing as he started laughing.

"Can I . . ." he trailed off.

"Can you what?" For some odd reason I didn't feel as nervous as usual. Probably because it was extremely dark and I wasn't able to see his face nor could he see mine.

"Nothing."

"As long as it doesn't involve raping me then go ahead." I chuckled. It was nice to not be the nervous one for once. I''ve never even seen Zayn nervous. He shifted in the bed, slowly getting closer to me. Eventually I felt his arms gradually slid themselves around my waist pulling me to his chest.

"Were you seriously asking if you could hold me?" I asked trying to hold in my laughter.

"I was going too."

"You don't have to ask."

"Well, I mean. I didn't want to do anything you didn't want me to."

"There are very little things that you could do that I wouldn't like." Right after the words left my mouth I realized how bad it actually sounded.

"Oh really?" he smirked as my cheeks turned bright red. Thank the lord it was dark.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't."

"I didn't" I hurried out. So much for not feeling as nervous anymore.

"It's okay if you did." He laughed. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek trying to come up with something to say. "You still there?" I could tell he was smiling.

"Mhm." I mumbled not wanting to say anything to embarrass myself further.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing?"

"Emerson."

"Zayn."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm. ."

"Eh! Are you embarrassed because of what you said?"

"No..."

He laughed knowing that I was lying. "It's okay, really."

I swallowed nervously.

"Em." he murmured quietly.

"Okay."

"You're cute when you're embarrassed." he noted making me shake my head.

"I'm going back to bed." I said turning around.

"Uh uhh." He hummed grabbing my hip turning me to face him. "I like to cuddle."

I smiled to myself, pressing my face to his chest inhaling his familiar scent. He smelled so damn good it was ridiculous.

"Em?" he questioned making me pull back slightly.

"Mmm." I hummed lifting my head to face him.

His hand moved from my side up to my jawline. He pressed his lips to mine give me a soft, gentle kiss. "Night boo." he whispered wrapping his arm back around me, holding me close.

"Night." I whispered back. I couldn't wipe the enormous smile that had taken over my face.

-------

"Zayn!"
I stirred at the sound of someone banging on Zayn's bedroom door. "Zayn! Get the fuck up!" Shiloh yelled through the door. Could she just shut up? I thought nestling closer to Zayn causing his arms to tighten. It only took a matter of seconds to really wake up and realize how bad this actually could be. Shit. I tried to pull back but Zayn wasn't letting up.

"Zayn." I whispered shaking him gently.

"Ehhh." He groaned pressing his face into the crook of my neck.

"Zayn, Shiloh's at the door." That finally got him up.

"Shit. What do you we do? Shit." He whisper yelled jumping out of bed.

"Um, the closet." I whispered crawling off his bed.

"What?"

"I'm going to hide in your closet."

"I feel like we're just about to be caught doing something inappropriate." He grinned mischievously.

"Oh shut up." I swatted his arm even though I was smiling.

"You know you like it."

"I think you'd like to think I like it." I teased walking away from him.

"Don't lie."

"I only speak the truth."

"Oh really?"

"Really, really."

Next thing I knew my back was against the wall with my arms pinned above my head.

"Zayn! Shiloh's going to catch us."

"'The doors locked."

"Oh and you think that's going to stop her?"

"You're right." he bent down leaving a small kiss on my lips before releasing my wrists. I hurried into the closet hiding myself as far behind the clothes as I possibly could.

"You good?"

"Yes."

I held my breath as I heard him open the door.

"What the fuck took you so long?" Emerson snapped. Did she always have to be so rude?

"I was sleeping. What do you want?"

"I need you to take me to pick up my car from Louis'."

"Um, no."

"Yes."

"No. You can find your own ride."

"Zayn don't be a dick."

"'I'm not."

"Yes you are. Just give me a fucking ride."

"That's exactly right there why I won't give you one. You expect everyone to drop everything to do whatever you need, and anyway I have plans today."

"Oh really."

"Yes."

"What could you possibly make you so busy that you couldn't take me twenty minutes down the road."

"That is none of your business."

"Fine. I'll just call Emerson."

"She probably doesn't want to talk to you after last night." Zayn rushed out in what I'm assuming was an attempt to not have her call me.

Oh shit. I reached down realizing I didn't have my pants on. We were completely fucked.

"Her phones dead."

"'That sucks." Zayn said not sounding the least bit sympathetic.

"You're such a ass."

"Yup. See you later." Zayn muttered shutting the door quickly. "You can come out now."

I slid open the door almost falling on my face as I came out. Thankfully Zayn was only a couple inches away and caught me.

"Do you always trip?" he asked smirking.

"No." I said my entire body getting red.

"Awh, You're blushing."

"Shut up." I muttered smacking his chest again.

"You're too cute." he smiled kissing my forehead. "So what are you doing today?"

"Nothing."

"Did you want to do something?"

"I suppose."

"Oh you suppose?"

"Yes." I chuckled.

"You're such a bum!" he laughed tackling me down to his bed.

"I am not a bum!"

"You have a cute one though." He said reaching around giving my butt a sqeeze causing me to yelp making him burst out in fits of laughter.

Notes

Sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER. This isn't even an update, I wrote this ages ago and just forgot to post it on here. So sorry about that, but I will try to be updating tonight. Please vote and comment. Love you! xx