Esoteric.

"What do you want?" I questioned harshly.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." he murmed closing the door behind him.

"I'm fine." I lied turning back to the mirror.

"Em."

"What?"

"Please talk to me."

"Why? Give me one good reason why I should talk to you. Why I shouldn't tell you to get out
right now. You can't just tell people things and then go on and act like nothing ever happened."

"I know. I'm sorry, I just. . ."

"You just what?" He said nothing. "Exactly. You know what, you can just leave."

"Emerson please understand."

"Understand what? You haven't even told me anything!."

"I like you. Like I really like you. I just can't. . I mean we can't. Shiloh would absolutely freak out if anything happened between us."

"Okay." I knew my answer wasn't the one he was looking for but what else was I supposed to say? He was right, Shiloh would make our lives a living hell if she found out.

"Okay?" He repeated confused.

"Okay."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean, okay. I don't know what else you want me to say. You're absolutely correct. She'd freak out"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

I knew he was about to hug me, but I couldn't. I knew the second his arms wrapped around me
I'd break, all over again.

"I'll see you later." I spoke, dodging his arms.

"Yeah."

I walked out without another word. How could everything turn to shit in one night? Why did Shiloh have to be like this? Why couldn't she be a good friend? Because she's Shiloh, that's why.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Um, yeah."

"You sure Emerson?"

"Yes Louis." I smiled.

"One hundred percent?"

"One hundred percent."

"Good. Now let's go party." He smiled grabbing my hand. I really didn't know why he grabbed my hand but I couldn't say that I minded it. He handed over another cup that was filled with something with a fruitier scent. I know had sad I wasn't going to drink but after everything that's happened, I figured it couldn't hurt. Before I knew I had already down five drinks and was now working on my sixth,

Zayn had stayed around, sitting on the couch not realy interacting with anyone. I was now some how sat on top of Louis' lap, laughing at some lame joke he told me. I really didn't even remember how I ended up on his lap but oh well. I shifted so that I was facing Louis completely. And in a matter of seconds he had pressed his lips to mine. I realize it's probably not the best decision after everything but I couldn't stop. More like I didn't want to. It felt amazing kissing Louis, not nearly as amazing as kissing Zayn but in all honesty it wasn't bad by any means.
A large hand gripped on to my upper arm tugging me back, almost causing me to fall.

"Is this going to be an every time thing?" Louis asked, standing up.

"Let's go." Zayn demanded pulling me with him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I snapped trying to pull my arm back.

"You're drunk. Let's go."

"No! You don't get to act like this. You don't get to tell me that you like me and turn around and say that we can't be together. That's not how things works."

"Emerson stop."

"No! You can't just keep hurting me." I said letting the tears fall. I had cried too much tonight and it wasn't fair.

"Em." he whispered softly.

"No. Just stop." I pleaded quietly through sobs. I was clearly aware of the many people watching us but in my drunken state I didn't care.

"No."

"What?" I asked finally looking back to his face. His hands grabbed the sides of my face pulling it closer to his. "Don't." I said barely above a whisper. I knew what he was doing and I wanted to kiss him more than anything but it'd hurt so much more if I did.

He of course ignored me attaching his lips to mine. I tried to pull away but I wasn't able too. My body was frozen, pressed against his. The warmth radiating through his chest to mine instantly relaxed me. I let go finally kissing him back. It was horribly wrong, especially after I had just practically made out with Louis but it was Zayn. He had this weird kind of hold on me that I couldn't control.

"I'm sorry." He whispered against my lips after finally pulling back. I shook my head not being able to speak. This was bad, very bad. He couldn't just keep kissing me to make everything better and walk away the next minute. I don't know how much longer my emotions could handle it.

"Can you please let me take you home?"

I nodded knowing I didn't have any other way of getting home seeing as Niall was drunk off his ass. I looked back but Louis was no where to be seen.

I hadn't realized until I was standing in front of my door that I had neglected to bring my keys. Isn't this just fucking fantastic.

"Everything okay?" Zayn shouted through the passenger window.

"Um, yeah. I just forgot my keys."

"Did you want to stay the night?"

"Oh no. I couldn't."

"Well I can't just let you stay out her by yourself."

I sighed walking back to his car. I really had no choice unless I wanted to sleep outside. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked starting the car again.

"Forgetting my keys."

"You don't need to apologize."

"Ok."

We quietly tip toed through the house making sure not to wake his mother.

"Here." He said tossing me one of his T-shirts.

"Uh, thanks."

He walked out so that I'm assuming I could change. I hastily pulled of my clothing replacing it with his shirt that came down about mid thigh.

"You done?" he asked through the door.

"Yeah." I felt immediatly self conscious as soon as his eyes trained themselves on my legs.

"Um, you can. You can take the bed." He stuttered grabbing a pillow and blanket tossing them on to the floor.

"I can sleep on the floor."

"I don't mind."

I felt bad. Ever since we left the party we had barely said two words to each other. Everything was awkward but I couldn't make him sleep on the floor. "You can sleep up here too."

He looked at me his eyes widening. "Are you sure?"

I gave him a small smile nodding. He smiled back before pulling his shirt over his head and his pants off. I felt myself staring at him. This was going to be a long night.

Notes

So this chapter has NOT been edited yet and is shorter than usual. I will be going back to edit but at the moment it's already 2am and I had an enormous headache. I still hope you all love it. Thank you so much for reading. Don't forget to comment, vote and subscribe.