Esoteric.

Emerson’s Point of View-

I had been avoiding Shiloh the last couple of days. It wasn’t really intentional, at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

“Em!”

“Hey.” I put on my best fake smile as Shiloh approached.

“Where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Oh. Uh, well I’ve been here.”

“Obviously, but I’ve missed you. Did you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

“Mm. I guess.”

“Okay. Well, I have something to do right after school but I should be back by around four thirty. So whenever you’re done getting ready you can just go ahead and come over.”

“Mmkay.”

“K. Well, I’ll see you later.”

“K.”

I barely managed to pay attention in class. It’s not like I cared, not at the moment anyway. I mean seriously. When in life will I need to know what the square root of pie is? That’s right, never.

I swear I had been standing in my closet for at least an hour trying to find something to wear. Finally I chose a circle skirt along with a crop top. I slid some thigh high socks up my legs and my doc martens on my feet. Leaving my hair curly, I applied a bit more makeup before grabbing my bag. Figuring Shiloh would be late like usual I grabbed my headphones plugging them into my phone. My music was so loud people down town could probably hear it, but I really didn’t care. MY mother always told me I’d blow my ear drums.

It was actually pretty windy out. Great. My hair was going to look absolutely horrendous by the time I got to her house. Thank the lord Zayn’s car was no where to be seen meaning he wouldn’t be anywhere around because honestly I don’t think I could handle it if he was. I immediately went to the bathroom to check my hair. I was fixing every last bit into place when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye?

I turned around coming face to face with a completely wet and naked Zayn. Oh my god. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breath. How the hell had this even happened. He stood there proudly, a huge smile on his face. I pulled my headphone from my ears.

“Oh my god. I’m so. . .I’m I mean, I didn’t, Uh. .I’m so sorry.” I stuttered out incoherently. Looking away the second I realized I was yet again, staring.

“It’s fine with me.” He chuckled.

“Oh well. I’m gonna. yeah. Uhh, I should go.”

“You can stay if you’d like.” he teased.

“No. No, I should really go. Yeah.” I walked out going straight down the stairs. I needed to be as far as possible away from him as I could. Why? Why did these things have to happen to me? Why not someone else. Let me tell you, that’s the last time I’ll be entering any bathrooms with my headphones in ever again. I had just seen Zayn naked. Well most of him. I managed to not see his penis. I probably would’ve passed out if I had.

“So.” Zayn said approaching the counter I was sitting on. I stayed quiet, all too embarrassed to speak. “You’re not talking?”

“Um, last time I checked we weren’t suppose to talk anymore.”

“I never said that.”

“Oh that’s right. You said YOU couldn’t talk to me anymore.”

“I don’t know why you’re so upset.”

“Well I suspect a person would be upset if they had someone they liked kiss them one minute and then in the next say they can even talk to them anymore.”

“You like me?”

Oh shit. I just said that out loud. “I didn’t.. um. It doesn’t matter either way.”

“Yeah it does.”

“No it doesn’t. We’re not even suppose to be talking.”

“There’s more to it than you think.”

“Then tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can.”

“No. I can’t.”

“Well then I’m just going to go and wait in Shiloh’s room.” I mumbled hopping down.

“Please just wait.” He begged grabbing my hand. Tingles immediately shot throughout my body.

“Why?”

“I. . just. Please?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do Zayn?”

“Just please understand it’s hard.”

“Well let me make it a lot easier for you.” I snapped pulling my hand from his grip before storming off.

“Emerson.” he pleaded grabbing my waist forcing me to turn around.

“Zayn I’m not. . “

He stopped me by pressing his lips harshly to mine. I swear I would never get over this feeling. It felt like heaven having his perfectly plump lips moving along with mine. He pushed forward pressing me against the counter behind us. My hands slid up his muscular arms and around his neck. I knew this was stupid of me. Of both of us. Shiloh could walk in at any moment and absolutely flip a bitch but at this moment I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything but the fact that Zayn was kissing me.

His fingers gripped tighter around my waist lifting me on to the counter. He pulled away while stepping between my legs.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled giving me small kisses in between.

“You don’t need to be.”

“Yes I do.”

“No.”

“Mhm.” he hummed rubbing his nose against mine.

“Zayn I. . .”

‘Nnn. Nnn.” he mumbled kissing me. “No talking.”

“But Zayn.”

“No.” he hushed by pressing our lips together again.

“but you don’t even. . “

“I don’t even what?”

“Like me.”

“What?” he asked finally pulling away to look at me. I shook my head not wanting to repeat it. I couldn’t repeat it. I looked away, ashamed and embarrassed. “Emerson.” He whispered sliding his forefinger under my chin, forcing my head up. “You think I don’t like you?”

I gulped back the immensely large lump in my throat. I had already had Shiloh tell me multiple times how he’d never like me. I couldn’t manage to hear it from him.

“I like you.”

What? Did he just? There’s absolutely no way in hell.

“It’s okay, you don’t have too. . .”

“I do though.”

“Shiloh said. . .”

I was cut off by the sound of the front door slamming shut. Oh fuck. Zayn gave me a quick glance before backing away instantly. Before I knew it Zayn was at the fridge pretending to look through it and Shiloh was walking down the hallway. Act normal Emerson. You have to, you can’t let her know what just happened, but how could you not. Zayn just said he liked you. He could be lying though, right? But why would he lie about something like that. Maybe it was all a game. I mean, he did like to play games with girls. He never was one too date. He was more of the pump and dump kind of guy. Multiple girls around the school had already fallen for and had their heart broken by him.

And I didn’t want to be just another girl. I knew this all along, but it still didn’t stop me from wanting him. Even as the thoughts ran through my head, I still wanted him. More than ever. I wanted to be able to feel his lips on mine. To be able hug him and have him hold me when I’m upset. To just be there when I needed him. I’d never even had an actual boyfriend and the only one I wanted was Zayn though I knew that was near impossible.

“Hey! Sorry I was so late.” Shi smiled walking over to me, but not before giving Zayn a nasty glare.

“Eh. I figured you’d be late.” I teased.

“Oh hush. Where did you want to eat?”

“You guys are going to eat?” Zayn questioned.

“Yeah.” I answered back.

“Why does it matter to you?” Shiloh asked rudely.

“Just asking a question. No need to get your panties in a bunch.

“Shut up!” She snapped. I mean, I understood the whole brother and sister hate shit, but Zayn didn’t really do anything to deserve it. “Anyway, I was thinking about going to Cleo’s?” she mentioned turning back to me.

“ Sounds good.” Although I didn’t really want to go anywhere after what just happened, but it’s not like I could say that.

“Alright, lemme just go and change and I’ll be right back.”


“K.”

“Zayn.” she said as if warning him to keep his distance before heading upstairs.

“Em?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you.’

“Zayn. . .”

“No. Wait, I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I couldn’t let you think that I didn’t like you, or want to talk to you. It’s just, there’s certain things I can’t talk about right now and I. . .I just can’t tell you and I’m sorry.”

“I. .uh. You can’t like me. I mean, Shiloh said you didn’t and . . “

“Of course she did.” He mumbled under his breath. What was that suppose to mean. Maybe that’s what Harry meant by ‘Don’t believe everything Shiloh says.’ But it can’t be possible, Zayn couldn’t like me. He’s Zayn for Christs sake.

“Emerson I. . “

“You ready?” Shiloh asked walking back into the kitchen. I looked between her and Zayn. Who was now looking away. What was with him when she was around? He acted like a scared kitten.

“Uh. Yeah.”

Notes