Save Me From Myself
Chapter Nine
I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet but I was absolutely convinced that the lower part of my body was actually on fire. I squealed in pain as I tried to lift my legs, my thighs burning and sending a roaring heat up through my abdomen as I used all of my energy to make the slightest movement. My core throbbed and I finally opened my eyes, pushing myself up on my elbows and taking in the sight of Harry’s side of the bed; empty beside me. I glanced over to the clock, taking in the numbers that looked a little hazy. 13:21. I looked again, not quite able to believe that it was so late in the day and I had slept in so long. Next to the clock lay a handwritten note along with 2 painkillers and a glass of water. I smiled, knowing that Harry must’ve been hungover too; it usually took a lot of alcohol and a bloody good night for either of us to have to remedy a hangover with painkillers and pint glasses of water. I knocked the tablets back, feeling the relief almost instantly as I picked up the note and concentrated hard on the words.
Morning love, (or afternoon, depending on when you surface),
Didn’t want to wake you this morning… Was supposed to be at the studio for 9:30 but it’s nearly 10 and I still haven’t left the house. I am way too tired to be going anywhere after last night. Exhausted is an understatement ;) and hungover. I’m pretty hungover.
I hope you haven’t got as much of a bad hangover as I do, and, I hope you’re not too sore… I promised that you were gonna get it hard! ;) Wouldn’t dare break my promise, would I?
Skype me when you’re awake, just so I know you’re alive and kicking,
Love you
H x
After a moment’s thought, I smiled. Placing the note down, I turned my laptop on and pulled some underwear on whilst I waited for it to come to life. I found Harry’s shirt at the end of the bed and threw it over my shoulders in a bid to cover myself up slightly as I loaded a Skype call to him. The incessant beeping filled my ears as I waited for him to answer, making myself comfortable on our mattress. “Hi, love.” He spoke with a smile, his eyes lighting up as I replied.
“Hey gorgeous! How are you feelin’?” My voice was spritely in spite of the inevitable cottonmouth I was experiencing. We exchanged pleasantries, Harry describing his time in the studio this morning to me before I informed him of my plans to go shopping with Amelia in the afternoon.
The smile on his lips doubled in size and deep down, I think he was happy that I was getting out of the house. “That’s great babe, really. Do you want me to ask security to go out with you?”
I was glad that Harry really looked after me but sometimes, I felt like I just had to try to live a normal life, without security and paparazzi and fans following me around. I think security and bodyguards only attracted attention sometimes. “I’ll be okay, I think. We won’t be going anywhere high profile so I’m sure we’ll be fine.” He frowned at my words and I had to reassure him. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. If there’s any trouble, I’ll call.”
His frown vanished then and we promised to keep each other up to date on our whereabouts before said our momentary goodbyes. I left the laptop running as I searched the bed for my phone, wanting to call Amelia to apologise for running horrendously late today. I swiped the phone from the edge of the mattress and settled back against my pillows. Harry hadn’t shut off our Skype call, though had moved away from his laptop. I could hear him talking to the guys, Liam’s voice in particular filling my ears. I listened closely and intently.
“I reckon you can’t go an hour without speaking to Skyler. What do you talk about all the time, mate? I’m surprised you don’t run out of things to say!” The other guys laughed at Liam’s comment, Harry clearing his throat before he replied.
I could envisage him standing there, shuffling his feet as he decided what to say in response to that. “I just have to make sure she’s okay, y’know? I’m scared of what she’s capable of, I don’t want her to ever think she has to be alone.” His voice was soft and my heart raced at his words. I hadn’t realised he worried so much. I could hear the guys sympathising with him, their voices calm and serious as they spoke. I cut the call off after that, thinking about Harry’s words and calling Amelia.
We arranged to meet an hour after we spoke to each other, opting for our favourite coffee shop as a meeting place. We both ordered our coffees and sat down at a table in the corner of the room, catching up with each other’s lives. I listened to Amelia tell me all about her recent trip to Paris with her fiancé and just how romantic it was and how loved up they are. I smiled along as she went into every detail and I realised that, though Amelia and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, I couldn’t tell her every detail of my life. I couldn’t go into the details of my self-harm or how I’m so, so scared that Harry will leave me when he can’t take it anymore. I always glossed over such issues, changing the subject quickly.
“That’s more than enough about me, what’s going on with you lately?” Amelia smiled as she picked up her mug, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders.
I placed my mug back onto the table, my fingers still wrapped around the china, taking in the warmth of the liquid. “Not an awful lot, really! Harry is in the studio today and he’s been pretty busy lately, what with the latest tour and stuff, so I’ve spent a lot of time at home. I think he’ll have some time off soon so we’ll get to be alone for a little while.” I smiled as I picked my mug up again, emptying the contents before Amelia and I decided to move on and start shopping.
Three hours later, I found myself back home and alone. Shopping had gone well and I had only gotten recognised as Harry’s girlfriend a handful of times so it wasn’t as if I was mobbed by people; like I would have been if I was with Harry rather than anyone else. As night drew in, I realised that despite sleeping for longer than usual last night, I was beyond tired now. My phone beeped and I took it in my hand to see I had a message from Harry, the black letters that formed words taking their time to register in mind.
Hey baby. I don’t know what time I’ll be home, had some technical issues in the studio. Stop waiting up for me and get some rest, I’ll see you later. Sorry xxxx
I smiled at how he knew I was waiting up for him. Normally, I’d wait up for him regardless of what he said, usually falling asleep on the sofa and having to be carried to bed, but tonight, I just gave in. I text Harry back, telling him it was fine, that I understood and was going to bed. I placed my phone on the side as I walked into our bedroom, stripping my clothes off and throwing on a t-shirt as I crawled onto Harry’s side of the bed, taking in his scent from the pillows as my eyes were pulled shut.
Morning love, (or afternoon, depending on when you surface),
Didn’t want to wake you this morning… Was supposed to be at the studio for 9:30 but it’s nearly 10 and I still haven’t left the house. I am way too tired to be going anywhere after last night. Exhausted is an understatement ;) and hungover. I’m pretty hungover.
I hope you haven’t got as much of a bad hangover as I do, and, I hope you’re not too sore… I promised that you were gonna get it hard! ;) Wouldn’t dare break my promise, would I?
Skype me when you’re awake, just so I know you’re alive and kicking,
Love you
H x
After a moment’s thought, I smiled. Placing the note down, I turned my laptop on and pulled some underwear on whilst I waited for it to come to life. I found Harry’s shirt at the end of the bed and threw it over my shoulders in a bid to cover myself up slightly as I loaded a Skype call to him. The incessant beeping filled my ears as I waited for him to answer, making myself comfortable on our mattress. “Hi, love.” He spoke with a smile, his eyes lighting up as I replied.
“Hey gorgeous! How are you feelin’?” My voice was spritely in spite of the inevitable cottonmouth I was experiencing. We exchanged pleasantries, Harry describing his time in the studio this morning to me before I informed him of my plans to go shopping with Amelia in the afternoon.
The smile on his lips doubled in size and deep down, I think he was happy that I was getting out of the house. “That’s great babe, really. Do you want me to ask security to go out with you?”
I was glad that Harry really looked after me but sometimes, I felt like I just had to try to live a normal life, without security and paparazzi and fans following me around. I think security and bodyguards only attracted attention sometimes. “I’ll be okay, I think. We won’t be going anywhere high profile so I’m sure we’ll be fine.” He frowned at my words and I had to reassure him. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. If there’s any trouble, I’ll call.”
His frown vanished then and we promised to keep each other up to date on our whereabouts before said our momentary goodbyes. I left the laptop running as I searched the bed for my phone, wanting to call Amelia to apologise for running horrendously late today. I swiped the phone from the edge of the mattress and settled back against my pillows. Harry hadn’t shut off our Skype call, though had moved away from his laptop. I could hear him talking to the guys, Liam’s voice in particular filling my ears. I listened closely and intently.
“I reckon you can’t go an hour without speaking to Skyler. What do you talk about all the time, mate? I’m surprised you don’t run out of things to say!” The other guys laughed at Liam’s comment, Harry clearing his throat before he replied.
I could envisage him standing there, shuffling his feet as he decided what to say in response to that. “I just have to make sure she’s okay, y’know? I’m scared of what she’s capable of, I don’t want her to ever think she has to be alone.” His voice was soft and my heart raced at his words. I hadn’t realised he worried so much. I could hear the guys sympathising with him, their voices calm and serious as they spoke. I cut the call off after that, thinking about Harry’s words and calling Amelia.
We arranged to meet an hour after we spoke to each other, opting for our favourite coffee shop as a meeting place. We both ordered our coffees and sat down at a table in the corner of the room, catching up with each other’s lives. I listened to Amelia tell me all about her recent trip to Paris with her fiancé and just how romantic it was and how loved up they are. I smiled along as she went into every detail and I realised that, though Amelia and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, I couldn’t tell her every detail of my life. I couldn’t go into the details of my self-harm or how I’m so, so scared that Harry will leave me when he can’t take it anymore. I always glossed over such issues, changing the subject quickly.
“That’s more than enough about me, what’s going on with you lately?” Amelia smiled as she picked up her mug, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders.
I placed my mug back onto the table, my fingers still wrapped around the china, taking in the warmth of the liquid. “Not an awful lot, really! Harry is in the studio today and he’s been pretty busy lately, what with the latest tour and stuff, so I’ve spent a lot of time at home. I think he’ll have some time off soon so we’ll get to be alone for a little while.” I smiled as I picked my mug up again, emptying the contents before Amelia and I decided to move on and start shopping.
Three hours later, I found myself back home and alone. Shopping had gone well and I had only gotten recognised as Harry’s girlfriend a handful of times so it wasn’t as if I was mobbed by people; like I would have been if I was with Harry rather than anyone else. As night drew in, I realised that despite sleeping for longer than usual last night, I was beyond tired now. My phone beeped and I took it in my hand to see I had a message from Harry, the black letters that formed words taking their time to register in mind.
Hey baby. I don’t know what time I’ll be home, had some technical issues in the studio. Stop waiting up for me and get some rest, I’ll see you later. Sorry xxxx
I smiled at how he knew I was waiting up for him. Normally, I’d wait up for him regardless of what he said, usually falling asleep on the sofa and having to be carried to bed, but tonight, I just gave in. I text Harry back, telling him it was fine, that I understood and was going to bed. I placed my phone on the side as I walked into our bedroom, stripping my clothes off and throwing on a t-shirt as I crawled onto Harry’s side of the bed, taking in his scent from the pillows as my eyes were pulled shut.
Notes
Hiyaaaaa!
I am so, so, so sorry that it has taken so long to get this out there!
It's a chapter that I have re-written time and time again and I'm still not 100% happy with it, but I must move on!
The next chapter leads up to drama, so let me know what you think is going to happen and what you though of this chapter! I would LOVE to hear from you!!
Love! x
please update!!!!! soon im so courios!Xxxx
12/13/13