Revenge

The four nights before Tuesday, were surprisingly very restful. My constant nightmares melted away into dreamless dreams filled with nothing but a dark quietness, that had let me sleep well into the next morning. This allowed me to get the much needed rest my body has been craving for, for months now, and by the end of that unholy day, I would realise just how much I really needed it.

When I awoken that Tuesday morning, my eyes fixated on the ceiling above me. My mind started to create every scenario that could possibly happen today, and my paranoia had each one end with my brains, guts, or some other organ of mine splattered onto the walls. I've always have been very much of an optimistic, imagining things to go much better than they even be. However, I couldn't do that. I was much too afraid of everything that could go wrong to even try to think if anything could go right.

It wasn't long until all of those negative thoughts soon had me wishing that I hadn't even agree to this in the beginning. Well, I technically didn't agree, but I didn't open my damn mouth to even give myself any say in rather or not I wanted to kill all of those people. Even though each and every one of them had some way helped my brother into the grave he lies in to this day, I still don't believe they deserved to die. I mean does anyone deserve to die honestly. We've all been placed on this earth for a reason.

A few days later, I told this to Zayn, and he simply answered me by saying, "What if Tyler's reason on earth was to be killed by them thugs, and for us to kill them in return. You do realise that they are monstrous people, yea?" To that I nodded my head, and he continued, "Then you would agree that the world would be a much better place without them being here?" This time I hesitated before solemnly nodding my head again. I lowered my head to just how right he was, but I couldn't help but to think how things could've been handled in a much appropriate manner.

Not too long after noon, I had gotten a call from Zayn, saying that Venny and himself were on their way to my house, and would be there in about ten minutes. Once I hung up, my entire being groan how real all of the planning was about to be. I wished then so bad for all of it to be some wild dream brought upon by my distorted imagination, but that would've been a denial my mind wouldn't allow me the bliss to have.

I didn't even get out of my bed until I heard the sound of my doorbell ring. As I made my way through the corridor, I tried my best to pass Tyler's room without making a scene, but like every other day, I fail miserably. The task of heading towards the front door had been quickly forgotten as I gravitated into my brother's room. Everything was and still is the same way he left it before leaving for the last time ever; I made sure of it. It was like I was a desperate parent, waiting on the child to come back home, but Tyler wouldn't. He's gone forever without any possible return.

As I stepped further into the room, the, now very faint, scent of my brother invaded my nose. My eyes roamed over all the pictures Tyler had on his dresser before landing on one with the two of us when we were only small kids. We couldn't have been any older than six and two; the both of us dressed in our Sunday's best at some fancy party. I picked up the photo, that was held in a wooden frame, remembering the story Tyler told me went with. Something he would do often whilst we were going up when we went through our mum's many photo albums.

Tyler's voice rang in my ears like he was still there with me, and continued on as I went to the next picture. It was like he was still with me, and it was the only type of closure I could possibly get back then. Everything else seemed to bring down further into the dark, endless abyss I had already put myself in. I look back now and find it quite ridiculous something so small as going through old pictures could making me happy, but that's what humans do. We hold on to the life's little pleasures, and whilst doing that we keep ourselves from actually moving on in the world before it's too late.

Every time I entered Tyler's room, I always became so engrossed in the pictures that hours had gone by without me realising. One time I had even stayed in there for almost twenty hours, and didn't leave until I had gotten the weekly call from a random family member, asking rather or not I was okay, if I was I eating, and how much I was eating. Those calls were still coming at the time even though I hadn't answered one in weeks, and even then it was because I had made the mistake of not checking the caller ID.

My unconsciousness to the outside world wasn't any different that day then it was any other. I hadn't heard the second ring, I didn't hear the front door open after the third one, nor did I hear the footsteps walk into Tyler's room behind me. It wasn't until I felt a hand rest itself on my shoulder, and a voice call out my name that I came from the trance that I was in, which made me remember why I got out of bed in the first place.

"How di-?" I started to ask Zayn once I turned around to face him, but he had cut me off before I could finish.

"When you didn't answer the door, Venny got the spare key from under the mat." My mouth went into the shape of an 'o' when I remembered about the extra key Tyler would keep under there incase of emergencies. "You alright, Jas?"

"Uhh," I looked down at the new picture in my hand, and sat it back in its place on top of the desser before I looked back up at Zayn. "Y-yea, I'm good."

"Good," he said as he shoved a bag at me. "Change into that, and then we can go."
Once he was out of earshot, I let out a sigh.

I hated how weak I came off to others around me like I was some fragile, little shell, that had to be tiptoed around just so it wouldn't break. That was pity; that was why I didn't answer any of my family's calls. Now Zayn and soon Venny as well would think the same as them. Only adding to the problem and not the solution.

I began to take off the clothes I had, had on, and put on the clothes and shoes, that I was given. I hurried the best that I could so they wouldn't have to wait on me any longer than they already had. I tossed my sweats into my room along with the others pieces of clothing, that had over time collected themselves there.

I made my way to the front of the house, where the other two were. Once they saw that I was ready, we left out the house, down the drive, and into the van, that was parked at the curb. Zayn sat in the driver's seat whilst Venny and I sat in the back. When we were all situated in our seats, pulled off and began the three hour car ride to Moss Side.

This was it. This was the day I became a criminal.

Notes