Survive

Dear Diary,

I am freaking out!

I have never been on a plane before. It is freaky. We are in the air, miles above the ground. If this goes down we are all screwed.

I may have an irrational fear of some things. The world is a scary place! But this is not an irrational fear. Things like that have happened before.

I think I have been a little more afraid of the world more recently.

Ethan was my boyfriend for two years. He is a football player at the boys’ private school. Claire, Riley, and I were going to watch Riley’s brother play football when he first noticed me.

It was fun at first. We did everything together. We were the perfect couple.

Then he got drunk at a party. I promised myself I wouldn’t drink…and I didn’t. But he did.
I got him home that night. His parents were away for the weekend. I got him up to his room before things started getting bad. He wanted a goodnight kiss. He really wanted a lot more than that. He started ripping my clothes off, like a wild animal. It was kind of scary.

We had sex that night.

The next morning he acted like it was consensual. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t even supposed to have a boyfriend.

But then I started having morning sickness and I missed a period. I took a test and found out I was pregnant.

I made a huge mistake. I told Ethan.

He started freaking out. Yelling at me. This was not my fault. I never wanted to have sex. So he broke up with me. He said if I didn’t get an abortion he would tell everyone that I came on to him…not the truth.

I did it.

I regret it.

I should have just kept the baby. I should have never listened to him. I didn’t even get back together with him.

So now I freak out at the littlest of things. I don’t go to parties or clubs. I act like the prefect child now.

It was nice to get that off my chest but now I have to rewrite my journal. I can’t have anyone knowing about this…not even Claire and Riley know.

I got a little off topic but because of the abortion I freak out about a lot of things. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life. There was a chance I could have gotten injured or sterile or even dead.

I’ll rewrite this tonight about how excited I was to be on a plane and travel to America.

Love,

Mila

Notes

Hope you liked it! Happy Reading!