Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

Harry’s POV

I got a message from Jeff when he was leaving the meeting. I don’t know if it’s me, but he sounded curter than ever, so I can’t help but squirm in my seat. I glance towards the door, and then at the bar, as I drop both book and pen over the table. Pat is chatting up the barista. It’s good to have him back. He’s always back while I’m working, but when I’m not I try to keep life as normal as I can, which is quite easy being in LA. I watch him as he pulls a stool to his side and sits down. He might be getting lucky. I’ve seen her around a few times. She seems a nice person, and she makes great coffee. I shake my head and check at my watch. Jeff should be here already.

I run a hand through my hair. All day I’ve been underlining Jeanne’s novel. To my surprise, before parting yesterday we agreed to go through the screenplay together. I never imagined she would take my offer seriously, but she seems to care about my opinion. I wasn’t going to say no, as it’s the perfect excuse to share some friends’ time. So I’ve been marking everything I feel that has to make it to the film to compare it to what she has. Even so, I can’t keep my mind away from this meeting. My nervousness has done nothing but increase by the minute. I should have been there… It’s my project too. Why would they shut me down? An abrupt movement at the door brings me back from my thoughts. Jeff quickly walks up to my direction, and as soon as he stands in front of me he grabs a chair.

“They set her up,” he lets out, catching his breath. Jeanne… My heart bounces to my throat. This can’t be good.

“Tell me everything,” I plead, tightly clutching my hands together over the table.

“They set her up–––he repeats, gesturing with his hand, as he bends back, visibly tense. As I predicted, the rumors were spread by 20th Century Fox…” I scrunch my face. What the hell?

“But how?”

“They already knew her novel was once your Fan Fiction–––he shrugs. Someone from the publisher’s house in London leaked it to the studio when it began to get noticed. She was totally unaware, as both her manager and her publisher…” So her publishing house knew… And it means Jeanne didn’t deceive them. “Apparently, when they contacted her while in San Francisco she didn’t want to sell the rights–––he explains. She came up with a lot of requests, like writing the screenplay herself, and then having you to play Sam… That was exactly what they were expecting,” he claims as he points his finger at me.

“Why?” I whinge.

“They thought it would be killer publicity once it’d blow up with you involved in the project–––he says as if it was so obvious–––even if in the process they’d jeopardise Jeanne’s career.” My heart freezes inside my chest.

“What did she do?” I immediately straighten up, fearing the worst.

“When the rumors started on Friday she talked to Drew to come clean.” Knowing how earnest she is I’m sure she has been struggling because of this. Why didn’t she tell me yesterday? When I told her about the meeting she just overlooked the subject.

“And at the meeting?” I can’t help but get really nervous.

“Well, Harry–––Jeff gesticulates, suddenly changing into a far more relaxed attitude–––that woman is something else. She seems a cat lying in the sun but inside she’s a lioness. How did you manage to…”

“The level of sophistication of that remark is almost unusual of you,” I cut him off, speaking with a hint of sarcasm, as I see him coming. But the image is so accurate it hurts. “Don’t you have another metaphor to describe her?” I ironise.

“Now that you ask, yes–––he observes, giggling, as he pulls his chair closer. She’s like ground swell… When you look at the ocean and it seems calm but underneath the surface there’s this force…” I twitch my head. Bloody Jeff. Now he’s a poet too.

“I know; carry on,” I groan. He pats my cheek playfully, making fun of me.

“She got so mad I thought it was the end. She snapped in French…” He sounds amazed. For some reason, something stirs in my stomach, making me utterly anxious. “You should have seen her jumping from that chair in her tight pencil skirt, and her semi-sheer, tucked-in blouse, all classy with her perfect haircut and her fancy brooch…” Why does the simplest mention of her outfit fluster me as hell? I’m sweating… And was she wearing my brooch again? “Tossing her arm around and going all ‘ah, non; bah, non; putain’…” He carries on, mimicking her absentmindedly. The hell; I’m fucking trembling. “Certainly a moment to remember…–––he chuckles. But Drew took her outside and brought her back into senses.” I’m dazed. I knew she had a character… Like that time when she slapped me at her defence, but this sounds even heavier. “The worst thing is that the stab in the back worked, and everybody’s craving the movie already… You should check the media,” he suggests. I shake my head. I won’t.

“But what about her readers? Are they mad?” I ask, concerned.

“These old dogs at the studio threw many surveys during the last months,” he says. God, Jeanne must be hating all this. “You were kind of their guilty pleasure. Apparently a vast majority had the fantasy of having you as Sam, because they believed she had a crush on you…” What? A crush on me? “Something about your initials turned around. Did you notice it? Harry Styles/Sam Hart? She’s clever…” He grins. He so excited about her he seems a teenager. “She put it there just in case, to prove the original story was hers if she were to face some hypothetic plagiarism’s accusation.” So this is why she kept some reference to my name, not because she has been secretly missing me for four years… “Her readers are excited, but the best thing is that your old fans are back on board… You are back, Harry,” he claims happily, grasping my wrist and giving me a reassuring shake.

“So is the project still on?” I mutter, confused.

“It is–––he replies. Alive and kicking…” Jeff smiles broadly and I can’t help but smile him back, sighing, relieved. I push my body backwards.

“And what will happen now?”

“The studio and Jeanne’s representatives will release several press notes–––he explains–––but you are both booked to clear the situation next week on Jimmy’s show…”

“What?–––I blurt, bouncing in my seat. Jeanne and I, with Jimmy? As in New York’s Jimmy?”

“As in Nancy’s husband’s Jimmy, yes–––he retorts. In fact it was her idea, and they’re thrilled.” I gulp hard. Jeanne in an interview… “He made a hole among his guests just to have you. You know how much he loves you, and One Direction…”

“But what will I say?” I complain.

“The truth…” He shrugs, gesturing his palms up.

“The whole truth?”

“I don’t think your fans needs to know you banged one of your Fan Fiction writers, fell in love with her and then got dumped, to be reunited by fate four years later,” he says ironically.

“Did she tell you this?” I venture to say, unsure.

“No, this is what I tell you as your manager, but I’m sure she thinks the same,” Jeff states. Yeah, I should have imagined that… “Things worked out properly until this point, so don’t tempt fate. This is something the studio ignores…” Well, at least they don’t know something. “But they expect you to play the heartthrob and the fan for a while…” He continues. What?

“Jeanne is not a fan.” In fact it was all the way around. I was her number one toy boy… I mean, fanboy.

“I know, but they want you to play the role of the reachable star, just to put you back on top…” I roll my eyes. So here we go again… “I don’t think she’s happy with it but she’s clever, so let’s push her limits a bit–––he says, adjusting his body to the chair. It’s publicity after all. It’ll be good for all of us, even her. If it’s not with her the studio would have made you do the same with your future co-protagonist over whom––by the way––Jeanne will have the last word; so who cares?” He crosses his arms.

“I care. I love her…” I gesture my hand down, shaking my head as I realise what I said. What’s wrong with me? “I mean, I loved her–––I rectify my words–––and part of me will always do. We’ve been apart for ages and I’m trying to be friends with her…–––I complain, nervous. I can’t obsess over her again; I can’t… If I flirt with her I’ll fall down the rabbit hole one more time.”

“Come on, Harry–––Jeff lets out, lifting his arms a bit. Flirting comes naturally to you, especially with her… I hate to admit this but the other night at your birthday you both seemed very comfortable flirting with each other.” What? Does he think we were both flirting? “I had to send Ashton over to stop you, though he’s so awkward he almost made it worse…” He chuckles. I shake my head.

“No, you didn’t…” I speak through gritted teeth. He’s unbelievable. Jeff cackles, covering his mouth to muffle the sound.

“You were all smoochy…–––he says after a second as I keep glaring at him. I didn’t want a picture of you smooching your writer… at least not yet!” He snorts, catching Pat’s attention. He raises a hand at him while clutching his stomach.

“I don’t know if I can do this…” I talk looking into space.

“Harry, you’ll both have to compromise in this–––he asserts. This is just a phase in the publicity strategy for the movie, to get people hooked with the project and to explain why Jeanne did what she did… If you care about her then you should help her get her credibility back…”

“OK.” I nod my head once, closing my eyes. I can’t fight this argument. All I want is to make things right for her.

“Good boy–––he pats my arm, bending over the table. You’ll fly to New York next week; you first, actually, because you’ll have to do a little something with Jimmy.” What? Oh, God, no… I know what ‘little something’ means. “Enjoy it, OK? It’ll be fun–––he giggles and I roll my eyes, throwing my head back in a gesture of exhaustion. Then you’ll get to do some stuff together around the city, maybe going to a basketball game or something. She prefers soccer, but soccer is non-existent in this country.” Yeah, I know she prefers football. “People have to believe you two might be a thing, though not enough for you to lose your appeal. And let’s be frank, there will be a leading lady at some point, but the studio is counting on Jeanne’s attractiveness too.” Well, yeah. It would be stupid if they didn’t. “She’s about to close a deal with Chanel, and she’ll write for Vogue…” As I listen to his words I can’t help but get a bit stunned. I never imagined she could catch up with this lifestyle so quickly. “She’s the embodiment of the ultimate woman; a babe, yes, but mainly a brain and hard work. This is why she caught their attention, and it’s the image they want to give. She’s mysterious, strong, feminist, works with Tobias Wolff, and, last but not least, she’s a mom!”

“Yeah, she’s all that…” I mumble, glancing away. Now everybody will know her…

“Why are you down, Harry?–––Jeff asks, a bit wary. I thought you wanted to win her back…”

“I can’t win a woman who didn’t love me in the first place back.” I flash him a quick glance. Jeff twists his mouth, tilting his head a bit.

“You know single is better for business, but you have given up so much already I can’t keep asking you these things–––he ponders, slightly shaking his head. If you want her, if you truly want her, then here you have your second chance… Maybe timing was off last time. It probably was. For you it was, no matter what you say. Look how all the relationships you and the boys had back then ended. Not one survived…–––he says thoughtfully, gesturing with his hand to the side. Probably it would have been the same for you and Jeanne too…” I tighten up my lips. I can’t let him convince me of this, no matter how tempting it is. It wasn’t a matter of timing. “Maybe this time you’ll get her–––he shrugs. If you tell me you really don’t want to do this, then I’ll come up with something. But you are already in trouble, because you’ll be around her for a long time…”

“I want to be around her–––I claim, shifting in my spot. All I want to do right now is to drive to her house just to see her, but I want to have a valid excuse to do it.” Jeff gives me a pity look. I know I’m sounding pathetic... “I don’t want to force my way into her life…–––I explain. I did it in the past and I don’t want to do it again… I want it to come up naturally, and if it doesn’t come up naturally then I prefer it doesn’t happen at all.”

“You told me she wants you to read the screenplay…” He squints at me, looking rather confused.

“So?”

“Will you?” He scrunches his face.

“Yeah–––I mutter. This weekend…”

“So I have a friend who might have something for you…” I don’t know what he’s planning, but it can’t be good.

–.–.–

Notes

Proper Harry... Gotta love him! He's determined to do the right thing, but will he be able not to go mad being around Jeanne all the time? So these two will have to face an interview with Jimmy Fallon soon, who's the film producer's husband, and I can guarantee it will be, at least, epic! But before that, to limber up for the interview, will have a lot more of their interactions... I just leave it like that... ;)

I've been asked by a group of friends to write a story without sex, but especially, without any kind of romance. That's a real challenge, as you may see. There was a whole debate on the forums a while ago about it. I had something already in mind and I think I'll be able to deliver it at some point this year. Thank you for believing I am the person capable of the task, my friends! No details to avoid stealing ;) There aren't enough stories about friendship surrounding 1D, and it's logical to wonder why when friendship is one of the greatest forces we have in life. I'll need a proofreader to that one story, so if someone is up to the challenge, please, just write me a message :D

Happy birthday, Jules! Thank you for being such an amazing friend and confidant! Hope you are having a great weekend :) Thank you to all our new friends, and thank you to all of you reading this story. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Get your feels ready for the next one! You are warned! ;) Love you all <3