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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'I remember things'

Harry’s POV

What has just happened? I slam the door behind me and rest my back against it, tightly closing my eyes, as I slide my hand down my face. Why did I have to follow her? I should have known it wouldn’t be good for me. I should have known what it would trigger, this hunger growing in the pit of my stomach all over again. I know this feeling… When she parked at the beach I should have left. Why did I stay? Why did I stalk her down from the car park just to watch her walk around? The answer is childishly simple… Because she’s mesmerising. She went to the beach at the sunrise… She’s so magic it’s frustrating. Was she still up at dawn as I was, or did she wake up early in order to do so? All I know is that, at some moment, she glanced at the horizon, took her shoes off and, lifting her skirt, she began to walk towards the ocean, revealing me those pale, slender, statuesque thighs I once loved so much unknowingly, making my insides tremble. I almost dropped from my bike. I could only watch her stupefied and hoping for a pair of binoculars. What was going through her mind?

I take off my jacket and move away from the door, climbing the back of the sofa. I let my body fall sideways and turn to face down, holding a cushion between my arms. I can’t stop replaying everything in my mind, the way her naked legs swept along the water, the hem of her skirt getting soaked and then dripping once she got out, massaging her hair. She didn’t even mind… Does she realise how much of a mermaid she is? On her way home she stopped to get a newspaper and a smoothie. It’s been so long, but the fact that she is still the woman who totally captured my imagination terrifies me. I plunge my face on the cushion. It took her a day… She has been around just a single day and she already managed to turn me into one of her characters again. I kick the sofa repeatedly. At least it would make it easier for me to play Sam. The idea of having to build a whole character and then play it in a movie makes me feel anxious so I frantically rub my face on the fabric, grunting. In the middle of my tantrum I suddenly sense a presence in the room and lift my head. Erica and Niall are standing side by side across the lounge, staring at me with worried expressions.

“Is this an intervention?” I mutter, straightening up to sit down, as I throw the cushion aside.

“Are you all right, Harry?–––Erica asks in a caring tone, arms folded over her chest. Have you been drinking?” She says hesitantly, steeping forward.

“I’m fine, mum, thank you–––I joke as I push my hair back, making myself presentable. And no, I haven’t been drinking but reading,” I point at the book over the centre table.

“Where were you?–––she carries on. You scared us…”

“I just went out to grab a cup of coffee…” I lie. If they only knew what I’ve been doing… And I’m not confessing anything.

“So soon?” Erica is not very easy to fool. These college girls…

“I didn’t sleep last night,” I admit to appease her suspicions.

“How are you holding on, mate?” Niall intervenes, silent until now, as he comes a bit closer too.

“Well, I’d be better if my friends would have told me this years ago, or at least last week…” I talk to my lap as I play with my hands. I can’t help but remember I’m quite mad at them.

“I’m sorry, Harry–––he mumbles quietly. Erica knew nothing about this until about three weeks ago–––he explains as I frown at him. She hasn’t completely forgiven me either for keeping this from her, but when the mess started––whenever it started because I’m not really sure when it started anymore––I thought she was better out of it.” Erica flashes him a quick lop-sided glance and by the way she grasps her arms I can tell this has been quite an issue. To be the reason of a disagreement between them sort of frustrates me. They are the only couple that keeps me having faith in love. “She’s my fiancée, I love her with all my heart and I can’t wait to make her my wife, but it was better for her to stay out of the Tommo’s master plan.” Louis… I shake my head. I don’t even want to listen to his name. Erica looks at Niall and lightly grins. He turns towards her, taking a hand to feel her hair. “You know Louis well, Erica–––he talks lovingly–––but that mind of his is just trouble, you know. I’m used to it, but it’s too much for a regular, non-boy bander person.” He caresses her head and she immediately drops her arms down.

“But Rachel knows,” she shrugs at him.

“Well, Rachel knows because she lives in London and you know Liam can’t shut his mouth when it comes to her–––he remarks quite ironically. I mean, she turned the guy into a total hen-pecked.” We all snort in unison. Nobody got surprised about that. “And she’s not as friend of Harry as you are… I’m not saying she doesn’t care about you–––he says turning towards me again–––because I’m sure she does; she has that Southern heart, but she doesn’t see you in a daily basis like Erica does. I really didn’t want to turn Erica into a Tommo’s accomplice…–––he returns to speak to her, walking small steps towards her, as he lays both arms on her shoulders. I’m sorry, baby…" He whispers, rubbing his nose on hers. I roll my eyes. “You know you are everything to me…” Erica smiles broadly and runs an arm around his waist, pecking him on the lips. They always do this in front of me. They are talking to me and then all of a sudden they shut me down to get into their little, lovebirds’ world.

“It’s supposed to be me with whom you are making amends, not Erica!” I groan, pointing my arm at him.

“I’m so sorry, Harry–––she intervenes now. I should have told you when I learnt about it but it was so sudden. I knew who Jeanne was, but I didn’t know she was the real person behind Jane Darcy, and when Niall told me to meet her I was quite excited because I love her novel…” This is so absurd. She sounds as a total fangirl. “I still can’t believe it’s related to you… But it makes sense though. Sam Hart–––Erica asserts. He has your initials turned around.” Fuck, she’s right. “Jeanne is such an amazing writer…”

“I thought you only read Hemingway…” I complain, slightly squinting at her.

“I live in this world, Harry–––she ironises, pushing her blond hair aside–––and if you read some of it then you know this is not a mere bestseller.” Well, no, of course it’s not. This is written by Jeanne. I notice Niall is practically ignoring our talk, acting all distracted.

“Yeah, your boyfriend knows it well too…” I tease and he looks at me almost in despair. Oh, yes, I remember things.

“Have you read it too, babe?–––Erica asks him in a mellow tone, holding him by the waist. You didn’t tell me…”

“Oh, no, he read…” I claim, gesturing with my finger.

“Of course I read it, come on–––Niall cuts me off, trying to be cool but making eyes at me. I read too. You two are not the only people who read in LA…” Erica looks at him in curiosity. “I might not read as much as you do–––he states, growing uncomfortable under our gazes–––but I do read. I read,” he insists. I can’t help but chuckle at his defensiveness.

“Why don’t you tell Erica what exactly was what you read, Niall?” I carry on, my cheeks hurting for smiling so hard.

“Her novel, ‘I Wish’…” He mumbles in a foolish attempt to skirt the issue. Wrong answer.

“It’s called ‘Venetian Blinds’…” Erica squints at him, but she’s clueless. Of course he didn’t tell her he read Jeanne’s stories back then and that he had quite a crush on her ‘characters.’

“Yeah, yeah, ‘Venetian Blinds,’” Niall corrects himself, looking away.

“Why don’t you tell Erica you skipped the smut?” I continue, crossing my arms. He flashes me a displeased glance and quickly turns to face her. This feels so good.

“Of course I skipped the smut–––he points out, very sure of himself. I don’t read smut…” He shakes his head, acting offended.

“There’s no smut on the book; what are you talking about?” Erica glimpses at the both of us, disconcerted.

“Nothing, Erica–––I say, standing up and walking towards her to pull her into my chest. Niall loves you so much he tried to protect you from Louis’ bad influence. You should thank him instead of staying mad at him.” I rock her a bit between my arms, winking at Niall over her shoulder. It’s not her fault he’s a snotty, treacherous leprechaun. He twists his mouth at me, but lightly shakes his head. He knows he owes me, and not only because of this, but also because of all the teasing he put me through. I playfully tap his head as I bite my lower lip.

“I’m sorry, mate. It was too much…” He comes to hold us. ‘Too much’ is certainly an expression often associated to Jeanne. “We did it to protect you–––he pats my back a few times. If I had lost Erica and learnt she was having another’s guy baby, I would have turned insane…” His tone is sympathetic. I close my eyes, as somehow I’m still trying to get used to the idea. “You’ve been through so much for her–––he says but stops dead, as unsure of his choice of words. I mean, not because she’s a bad person–––he rectifies himself–––because she’s not, she’s a great person…”

“Yes, she is, Harry–––Erica observes, letting go of me. Now I understand why you fell so hard. I have to admit I always found your story a bit strange; the way you met, all the coincidences, so I never really got it…” I instinctively frown and her look turns into worry again. “I shouldn’t be telling you this…”

“No, it’s the truth…–––I shrug. She is. She’s amazing and I wasn’t over her when she got pregnant so maybe it was better this way, I don’t know…–––I shake my head, glancing down as I grab my brow. You could have told me later though, when you meet her. I’d have preferred not to learn everything so suddenly; the novel, the film, Lara…”

“Did you meet her?” Erica cups my cheek, pulling my face up.

“I did…”

“And?” They both inquire, tilting their heads.

“She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen–––I mutter as I replay her in my mind–––which doesn’t surprise me at all as Jeanne is her mother…” I must have sounded pathetic because those are pity looks, but what can I say? I’ve met very physically attractive girls in all these years, yes, and Abigail was one of them, but never another captivating beauty as Jeanne. Her beauty comes from elsewhere.

“How do you feel about it?” Erica asks cautiously.

“About the girl?” I let out, confused, lost in my memories of Jeanne. They nod. I swear sometimes they look like twins. “I don’t really know…–––I rub my forehead and sit down on the sofa. It’s not easy to picture her as a mum, but at the same time it suits her.” I glance up to watch them nod again. “She seems natural at it. I just saw her like, very little with Lara but, I don’t know, it felt warm, here…” I clutch my chest. Erica frowns, pouting her lower lip, and sits next to me.

“I’m proud of you…” She grabs my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze. They were expecting for me to absolutely freak out, I can tell. “She’s so engrossed in, even if she continues working very professionally.” Niall discreetly winks at me from behind her. This is my cue. I clear my throat, moistening my lips.

“Jeanne always took her job seriously and I’m sure maternity didn’t necessarily change her ways–––I state–––because you know–––I glimpse at Niall, pushing my hair behind my ear–––when you turn into a mum it doesn’t mean the rest of your life is over.” Erica nods her head. I hope I’m helping. Niall is so obsessed over babies. I think Liam’s triplets mentally affected him. “And you can get some help, and it wouldn’t mean you are not independent. She has that German governess, Miss Meier.” I realise they might have chosen her to teach Lara the language of her father. What the hell with Jeanne and German guys anyway? They’re not that great.

“Miss Meier!–––Niall snaps, and claps his hands once. Louis hates her!” I glare at him. Am I here trying to help him to get his babies to have this in return? I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with the idea of Jeanne and Louis being so close.

“I find she handles her life outstandingly,” Erica continues with her train of thought, unaware of my moodiness. But she’s right; handling things has never been an issue to Jeanne. She might be all hippie and relaxed, but she has control issues as her best mate. “What are you going to do?” She pinches my shoulder as she realises I’m still a bit distracted.

“Nothing–––I shrug. I’ll work with her…”

“Are you…?” Niall rolls his finger for me to complete the sentence.

“Obsessed?–––I venture, raising my eyebrows. I’m just stunned that she’s back in my life…”

“That means you’ll get obsessed soon,” he retorts. Should I get mad?

“I told her to join us on Friday…” What’s the point of denying it?

“Nice!” Erica exclaims as Niall scrunches his face at her. Of course. She hasn’t been acquainted with my obsessed self. By the time they definitively got together I was already mourning. It doesn’t surprise me she feels this way about Jeanne. I know she has some female friends but since she moved to LA she’s mainly surrounded by guys, and I must say not every friend of Niall is adorable and a gentleman as I am.

“So are we OK, mate?” Niall pats my shoulder. I glance down to put up some suspense.

“We are–––I say and they both smile, relieved. You two have taken care of me for years. I couldn’t stay mad at you. Now with Louis…”

“Fix it yourselves–––Niall steps back, gesturing with his hands. I’m out of it.”

“But how will you handle yourself now with the movie and the wedding?” Erica asks, clinging to my shirt. Of course she’s worried. This is so sudden, and I’m the best man.

“The movie is on pre-production–––I explain–––and it will be almost entirely shot in London, so don’t worry–––I kiss the top of her head. I won’t miss it for the world.”

Erica smiles at me and make her way towards the door, where Niall is waiting for her, probably dancing inwardly. He has been waiting for this for so long, and we are hardly four months away. After I lastly wave at them I throw myself on the sofa, unable to process these past hours. I need to get some sleep. When will I see her again? We are not supposed to have another meeting for at least a week. I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it hopelessly. Why didn’t she send me just a simple message to thank me for the sunflowers? As I watch my recent calls I realise I didn’t ring her to let her know my number. I palm my face. How can I be such a mess already?

–.–.–

Notes

Hello, dear friends! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed to write it! Thank you so much to my writer-friends, KAOT and Softballchick79, for lending me their MCs to bring them to this story. If you don't know their stories, then you should go check them out: Just As Much and Until Next Time.

So many information about what will happen in this chapter. At some point the story will move in to London, where we'll have all the boys on board, and Niall's wedding. I'm so looking forward to it. We'll have everything, the stag party, the previous night, the ceremony and the party, and of course, all the mess this story could bring! You don't want to miss it! Don't expect for me to rush in in the building of this story. You know it's all in the details :) And don't judge Harry! Of course he's messed up right now. Give him the benefit of doubt! You know I'm talking about you, J. And welcome to Team Harry, @lovetodance! I was feeling very lonely here ;)

Thank you so much for reading, voting, and every sort of feedback. It means the world to me. Love you all <3

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

cococranberry cococranberry
3/13/19

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

JasperRenee JasperRenee
7/3/18

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah