Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

[WARNING: Mild adult content below. Read at your own discretion.]

I only waited a few minutes after Jeanne excused herself to the toilet to do the same. I didn’t want to be too obvious, but I was eager as hell. I needed a moment alone with her at all cost. I still couldn’t believe she actually did it. God, she could never cease to amaze me… She just tucked her hair behind her ear, bit her lower lip while glimpsing at me, and stood up, and it was just enough to send me straight to this mixture of torment and joy. I was aware that somebody interrupting us right there and then would be the worst thing that could happen, especially if that somebody was Guillaume, but luckily he was too caught up lecturing some fools and he didn’t even notice I practically followed her. Self-absorbed ass… They couldn’t be together. They just couldn’t.

As I left the restaurant area behind I started to look around for Jeanne. The building was truly something else. There was something about it that suited her so perfectly. The architecture was so neat but suggestive at the same time. The lattice from the windows was so delicate, although it was actually intricate machinery, like the diaphragms of a million cameras that open and close to let the sun in. I’d never seen such thing in all my life, but it was cloudy so I wouldn’t get to see it work properly. My heart raced inside my chest as Jeanne didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight. I began to panic. What if she had changed her mind?

I didn’t really know what to do but when I was about to take my phone from my pocket to ring her I spotted her near the metallic staircase. Once she saw me from across the distance she started to go down the stairs and I rushed down behind her. My anxiousness arose. What was I going to do? I needed to know what was happening, but I feared so much what she could say to me… Why was it always like this? Why couldn’t she simply be with me? Why did she have to make me crawl? That building was like a labyrinth, but she seemed to know exactly where she was going, as once she reached a gloomy floor I saw her leave the staircase, and after turning some crystals she disappeared. I tried to follow her. Each step I took I became more desperate. I looked around and I couldn’t find her anywhere. That building was from another dimension. I watched through the many glazed walls and I finally spotted her leaning back at the bottom of a corridor, glimpsing through the lattice mechanism towards the city. How could she be so relaxed when I was this nervous wreck? I approached her and she came to look at me, making me weak. But I had to stay strong.

“What the fuck, Jeanne?” I asked in a tone between angry and painful. My heart was aching so much because I knew she wasn’t mine and I didn’t have the right to be mad at her. But I loved her so desperately, and I was mad.

“Did you make me leave my guests to recriminate me?” She squinted at me. God, what was I doing? She was serious but now she looked pissed. But it was too late to back off.

“Are you sleeping with the guy?” I pointed at my side as I kept walking towards her. I couldn’t even tell his name in front of her. Jeanne frowned. Her gesture didn’t help me to keep my mouth shut, and the image in my mind was almost disturbing. “Don’t treat me as if I were crazy–––I grunted quietly once we were face to face. I saw how he touched at your defence… The way he had been treating you during lunch… I’m not blind–––I said imposingly. Answer me!” Jeanne’s eyes burnt into mine as her expression turned impossibly serious. “I know you two have something…” I shook my head.

“Why are you asking if you already have your verdict?” She questioned me defiantly, lifting her chin up to me as I led my hand to her neck. Was this a yes?

“Are you staying in Paris because of him?” I growled, not releasing her. The touch of her skin… A chill ran down my spine.

“What? How do you…?” She interrupted herself to look at me quite puzzled. “Mara?” I nodded. I was so mad every piece of conversation I had about her in the last few months rushed into my brain chaotically. I felt I was shaking from head to toe. How could she have that affect on me?

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened with your ex?” Jeanne scrunched her face.

“Did Anne tell you?” She let out. I knew she was crossed, but somehow I couldn’t stop myself. I nodded again, approaching her and taking my hands to her waist. Jeanne was too confused to put up a fight. Her nearness made me melt down. “How do you manage to make them talk?”

“I’m a peach…” I grinned. I didn’t know for sure if it was because of my words, but I felt her body beginning to relax and her expression softened. I came closer until our hips met. At our contact I couldn’t help but blink my eyes lazily. I just wanted to make love to her so hard. “But even if I try I can’t manage to make you speak…” I muttered, leaning forward dangerously.

“You know my mind, Harry…” Fuck, Jeanne. I closed my eyes in frustration.

“I know there’s something more you’re not saying…” I insisted, whispering to her crimson lips. How could we still be stuck in the same place? “Is it because of Antoine that you don’t believe in love?” I raised my tone a little as I didn’t like to name him either, but I had so many questions.

“No!” Jeanne exclaimed.

“Why didn’t you tell me he cheated on you then?” I grunted, my grip growing tighter.

“Because of this,” she protested, but trying to contain herself. I kept pressing her against the glass. “Because you’d think I am to be fixed, and I’m not, because I’m not broken. It hurt at the time, but I couldn’t let his fixations get me–––she shook her head, dejected. Antoine cheating was about who Antoine is, not about me.”

“So why did you write ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’?” I complained.

“It’s a fictionalisation!” I could tell she was losing her patience. “I used the anecdote because it’s relatable, and it’s a story about truly getting to know somebody, empowering yourself and forgiveness–––she explained. To forgive someone you don’t necessarily need to take the person back… I’m all of my characters and at the same time I’m none… This is how it works.” I should have known better. Art is about substances… I felt like such a fool. “Who I am is my decision,” she said firmly, pointing at her heart.

“But you don’t believe in love!” I retorted, exasperated.

“I do believe in love–––Jeanne murmured, startling me. I’ve seen it, and I know it’s not perfect, but it’s still love.” Her words hit me straight to the heart. I was absolutely stunned, and she knew. “Yes, we make poor choices–––she carried on–––but it’s a part of life, and we have to learn to live with that, and sometimes our poor choices can really put us down, but if we choose to stick to the positive, then we have more chances to get back on our feet and grow up.” God, how could she be like this? How could she have this heart and express herself so clearly? I wished I could be more like her, because somehow I had the tendency to become so sulky so soon.

“But how did London change your life?” I asked, disconcerted. Jeanne’s eyes widened, but in a second she glimpsed down. Deeply breathing in she came to look at me once again.

“Because when I decided to leave to London I missed my father’s last year of life,” she replied after a pause. My heart broke completely. “What I lost is far more important than a boyfriend or my self-esteem. I lost my father, my other half, my soulmate…” Her voice was so shaky it didn’t sound as Jeanne. “And I missed it because I was weak, and I lost control–––her tone rose up and she gestured to the side, straightening up. And I’m not ready to give up control just yet.” So that was it. And it was the reason why Louis got her so well, because they were both control freaks.

“I’ll make you lose control,” I rushed to say, and forcing her against the glazed wall one more time I slammed my lips into hers eagerly. Jeanne responded in perfect synchrony as her body lifted up to meet every inch of mine and her mouth parted for me to slide my tongue inside. I reached for her tongue and began to suck at it, making her contort between my arms. My stomach lurched. The way I had been missing this… My entire self was screaming for her, and I just couldn’t stop. My body wouldn’t let me stop. “I’m so mad at you,” I gasped while pulling at her yearningly, one hand around her tie.

“And I’m so mad at you,” she said tremulously, her face brushing the crook of my neck as she writhed against my chest. What if we were spotted like this? We were both dressed in suits… Somehow the risk made it all even more thrilling. I slid my hands down to her hips but suddenly I hesitated, confused at the feel underneath the fabric.

“What is this…?” I asked. Jeanne half shut her eyes in defiance. I started to pat her down. “Are these suspender belts?” I muttered. I couldn’t prevent a cheeky grin. Before she could say a word I glanced down and led my fingers to open her flies, sliding them inside her trousers boldly. Her belly clenched with violence. I first took my fingertips to feel her knickers. The texture of the familiar lace almost made me blank. Jeanne quivered completely. I returned my gaze up to her, insisting in my motions as I made her moan silently. I moved my hand farther and longingly caressed the smooth, chilly skin of her thigh but went on by until I touched a silky piece of ribbon. God, she couldn’t be more irresistible… I grazed my fingers down to feel her stocking. My head fell back. I needed to have her. Only Jeanne could fill my senses like this. I needed to have her one more time. I slipped my leg between hers. “You are all I fucking think of, Jeanne…” I whispered, as I stared straight into her eyes. Throwing my hands to her bum I began to grind her against me, slowly but resolutely, making me harden even more than I already was. “I want to fuck you so badly…” I murmured to her lips, and hypnotised I watched her pink tongue temptingly moistening them. There was no trace of lipstick anymore. “I don’t care what you’re doing with your director. I’m going to fuck you better than him…”

“Don’t speak…” Jeanne moaned, her body adjusting to mine so deliciously. My mind went wild, and my hips instinctively began to rock.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew I bought your pictures?” I said in my raspier tone while brushing my lips on hers, the heat quickly spreading everywhere.

“Because talking to you is useless,” she whispered jaggedly, eyelashes flickering closed.

She was right. When it comes to Jeanne I don’t listen to reason. I moved my thigh increasing the pressure, the pleasure growing unstoppable between us, her hot breathing against my lips. The sun was beginning to set and through a break in the clouds some rays of rosy light fell on the facade of the building. Suddenly the place brightened up around us, and the corridor was filled by thousands of sunspots. I shook my head, dazed. It was like a dream… Jeanne's body began to stiffen. She was so near, and I just needed to feel her surrendering herself to me. I was so mad about her. I was crazy in love with her... I swirled my tongue inside her sweet mouth, kissing her deeply, and she convulsed in my arms. A shock of electricity surged me and I held her tightly against my chest, caught in an emotional storm. This was our natural form. In moments like those no words were needed, and I felt strong.

“Let’s go home,” I said softly after she composed herself a little, cupping her face around my hands and pushing her messy hair aside.

“I don’t have my keys…”

–.–.–

Notes

Next chapter is going to be the longest, hottest, maddest chapter till date, so get prepared. 4000 words of Harry at his fullest. You are warned.

So, a round of applauses to Softballchick79 who was the one who got Jeanne has control issues! I wonder why, babe ;) And just because of the 'particular semi-order' of her desk. You are the professor! Yes, you can be a free spirit and have control issues at the same time, especially if your father died in your arms. I wonder how many readers would have this story if I had decided to write it from Jeanne's perspective in the beginning. I think I know the answer. But to me the challenge is not making this story about her, but about Harry in love with her. I love challenges, and I love the people who voluntarily share their time with this story, and comment, message me, support this story in every possible way. I'm glad to have you with me in this journey. Let me know your thoughts :)

Six chapters until the end! <3