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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'Maybe she’s not the person you are expecting'

“She must be amazing in bed…” Louis blurted and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Oh, yes, definitely,” Zayn carried on.

“There has to be some other great smut out there–––Niall said, but I just read a scene of her mentioning something about moving her chin to the sides… Well, that should definitely feel good,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s not theatrical as others I’ve read–––Stan stated. Nothing in the line of ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey;’ everything sounds real with her, even raw.” As he spoke, a chill ran down my spine and I gulped. There was a silence. I glimpsed around and the others were absorbed in their thoughts. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt almost jealous.

“And it’s not just sexual, even though it’s a sex scene. She meddles sensuality and emotional elements, those things that cross your mind when you’re right there…” Zayn explained. And with his comment, the feeling that we’d finally grown up suddenly hit me. “‘To have her like that,’ ‘we are impossibly close;’ those things that pop into your mind in a special moment,” he carried on, giggling instinctively.

“And she’s bold,” Stan muttered.

“Yeah, tons of sex in the daylight,” Niall chuckled. He was surely paying attention to his reading.

“I wonder if she could manage to go beyond what she already wrote…” Louis stated to himself with a lop-sided smile.

“We’ll be counting on that…” Niall sighed.

“Hey!” I snapped, with the foolish intention of preserving her honour.

“Sorry, Harry, we know she’s your imaginary girlfriend…” Louis chuckled, followed by Zayn.

“Isn’t it strange to read this Harry’s smut? It’s almost like seeing him…” Niall observed, amused, while the others were still giggling, what made them erupt into a loud cackle.

“Oh, God, Niall,” I blurted turning away, disgusted by his remark.

“It’s OK, mate–––he smirked. We’re brothers…”

“Oh, come on!” I shouted and everyone gestured me to calm down as they tried to recompose themselves.

“Well, I prefer my smut,” Louis stated.

“Yeah, me too,” Zayn said, grinning.

“I think I’m in love with my imaginary girl on ‘A Season In Paris…’” Niall mumbled, looking into space.

“Me too!–––Zayn exclaimed, grabbing him by the neck with his arm. If Perrie finds out I’m so dead.”

“It’s all the same girl, you know–––Louis meditated, melancholically resting his head on the window. And she’s a Harry’s girl. Isn’t it scary?”

“It is. Yeah,” everyone said in unison.

“What are you talking about?” We jumped as if we were choreographed. We were so into the moment we didn’t realise Liam had approached us candidly and was staring at the paper.

“Oh, no, not again!–––Louis shouted, covering his face. Good Lord! We are unbelievable!”

“What’s all this?” Liam said, pointing at the window, our notebooks and laptops displayed all around.

“Our research,” I stammered.

“On what?” Liam exclaimed, puzzled.

“Harry’s girl from Fan Fiction!” Louis exclaimed for the third time in a week. We were truly a failure on hiding things.

“What?” Liam snapped pointing at me.

“Yeah,” I mouthed.

“But I thought you met someone yesterday,” he claimed. How could everyone know anything that’s happening around? Privacy definitely is an issue we need to work on.

“I did,” I muttered, as all the boys smirked discreetly.

“But you still prefer to talk about an imaginary one…” Liam insisted.

“I do, yeah,” I quietly stated.

“OK–––he just said, sitting next to Niall. What about her? Are you trying to find out who she is?”

“Yes,” Louis said in suspicion.

“And how’s everything going on?” Liam asked him, realising he was sort of the head of our research.

“We believe she is French and older,” Louis told him.

“Nice fantasy,” Liam retorted coldly and Louis had a squint at him.

“Why?” He asked, annoyed.

“She’s probably American. Most of our fans are from there,” Liam explained.

“All her characters attend college, are in her twenties, live in London or Paris, not any USA’s city has been mentioned, she uses British English, and also French and German,” Louis enumerated, offended.

“And what about that?–––Liam shrugged. Maybe she is in college, American and abroad…”

“Abroad!” Zayn snapped, clapping his hands.

“Oh, fuck!” Louis mumbled as he contemplated the prospect, throwing his head forward.

“That possibility didn’t even cross our minds!” Stan shouted, turning towards the paper to write it down. I was a bit perplexed myself. I had to admit I was surrendering to ‘French and older’ theory. By Liam’s words it seemed to be plain ‘older.’

“I could go for that…” Niall meditated.

“Thank you, Liam–––Louis ironised, crossed. You’re killing my dream!”

“If she’s American she’s definitely from the East Coast… New York or Boston,” Niall said.

“French and older!” Louis repeated, frustrated, turning towards him.

“I’m buying Liam’s thesis–––Zayn admitted. Her English is far too good for a French girl, even though she’s in college.” Louis glanced at him in fury. There was another one abandoning the boat.

“There are actually bilingual people on this earth, you know, and polyglots…” He muttered between his clenched teeth.

“You need time for that…” Zayn claimed.

“She can’t be too old or otherwise she wouldn’t like Harry–––Niall began to explain enthusiastically but as he spoke he quietened down, smirking. Well, I don’t think that would be a problem.” Everybody burst into laughs and I bit my tongue.

“I’m guessing she’s twenty-one years old and from somewhere with artistic flair,” Liam pondered when they finally calmed down.

“OK, mates–––Stan said to finally dismiss the meeting so I could run to read ‘Bizarre Love Triangle.’ Everything is set for a new meeting the day after tomorrow at Louis’ house, in the afternoon, with the most of the reading you can do. We’ll be formulating the final conclusions and starting to think if all we’ve been reading is reality or fantasy.”

It started as a confidence between my best mate and me, but soon we were all on board. As I glanced at them, acclaiming and tapping each other’s backs, I asked myself if it would be positive… It was an important matter to me. I really wanted to find her.

–.–.–

I just lie down and soon finish to read the two chapters she posted this morning on her new story. It’s so different, almost as ‘I Wish.’ I don’t know what surprises she keeps for me, but I’m pretty sure I’ll screw it up somehow, although she seems to care about my character. I can hardly wait for her to update. I have to write her.

“Hey, mate. Did you like her new material?” Liam says suddenly getting closer from the corridor.

“Very much,” I mumble.

“That girl Laila sounds dreamy...–––he giggles. And you, mate. You read Wordsworth… That was too funny,” he says, tapping my shoulder. I grimace.

“I could read Wordsworth…”

“Yeah, but you don’t,” he retorts. There’s a silence. I glance directly into his eyes and he looks away. “I sort of like the idea of looking for this girl, you know?–––he says in a sympathetic tone. It’s almost poetic. But why are you really doing this? I understand you’re an Aquarian and, for that reason, very curious, but what moves you, Harry, deeply?”

“I like who she sees. She’s profound,” I state.

“And since when do you like profound girls?” He grins.

“I don’t know, mate. Maybe I’m growing up…” I mutter, uncomfortable with his remark.

“OK, I’m fine with that–––he asserts, grabbing my shoulder. But I don’t want for you to get hurt, Harry. Few people out there really know how sensitive you are and how much all this lifestyle affects you,” he carries on, and I glance down.

“I won’t get hurt–––I firmly claim. How could I?”

“Maybe she’s not the person you are expecting––– he says. Maybe she’s not pretty…” Oh, well, that. Sure. As if that was the only thing on my mind.

“It’s not about that,” I mumble, shaking my head ‘no.’

“Not about that…–––he repeats with a hint of irony, giving me a lop-sided glance. OK, whatever you say, my friend. But, Harry, be careful. Don’t get too carried away with Louis. He’s safe, you know, with El–––he mumbles. He can fantasise as much as he wants and then return to his shelter. But you…” Liam interrupts himself for telling more, but I get his point.

“I am alone…” I sadly say.

“Harry…” He stammers.

“No, mate; say it–––I mumble. It’s the truth.”

“You have us, Harry–––he claims, tightening his grasp. Never forget that. But as it has been proven before, we cannot protect you from your own heart.” Liam slightly smiles at me and moves his hand to my neck, giving me a reassuring shake. I grin back at him. I don’t know why I’m feeling this emotional. I know everything will be fine as long as I can be around them.

–.–.–

DreamingOfYou: Dear ILoveTommoBear, are you from London? I thought everyone around here was from The States…

I reread her last message. It almost feels like she doesn’t want to tell where she is from. But why won’t she? I can’t imagine she could have something to hide. Telling such a simple fact about you could not possibly hurt… So I can't help but wonder how much about her is actually on her writing, what places, what experiences, what sensations are hers.

ILoveTommoBear: Dear DreamingOfYou, I’m sorry I haven’t replied to you in so many days, but you’ll never believe how busy I was. I’ve seen you just published a new story and I like it very much so far. I really enjoy the fact it’s located in London and Louis being a drummer. He would be hot at it, for sure. I really love your stories and I’d like to know a bit more about the person behind the computer. Since how long do you fancy One Direction? Do you find Harry’s current haircut cute? Are you following WWA tour? Sorry if I sound demanding, but I’m just too curious. I can’t help it. Hope to hear from you soon xo.

What was that about my hair? Am I becoming insane? She will think ILoveTommoBear is a freak. Well, I guess everyone around this website is a bit eccentric, so probably my question will go unnoticed. As I glance at my screen again I see I have a new alert. Please, let it be a message instead of an update.

DreamingOfYou: Dear ILoveTommoBear, It may sound very stereotyped, but I truly love London. I spent an entire year abroad there and it literally changed my life. And might you guess what year was that? Yeah, 2010-2011, but I wasn’t too aware of One Direction at that time. Now that you mention Harry’s hair, I was quite displeased with it until I saw some new photos where he’s dressed in black looking like an accursed poet. He’s definitely growing his hair on my new Fan Fiction. I know it’s quite literary, but I’m so, so glad you are enjoying it. Tschüss, darling xo.

I smile. She likes my hair. Well, that wasn’t so difficult. Oh, my. I’m still shaking. She isn’t from London and she mentions the word ‘abroad.’ Maybe she doesn’t have anything to hide. An accursed poet… I like it.

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, I think it’s remarkable we both were in London when One Direction was born. But in my case I knew them right away. I saw them so many times at the studio of the X Factor. I’m sort of stuck with them since then...

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, not that I’m bragging about it, but I met them one day near King Street and I love to fantasise Harry flirted with me. A girl needs her dreaming…

Did I meet her? Near King Street? Can she be more specific? I’m hallucinating right now. Surely I’ve flirted with her. I flirted with everybody back then, and continue to do it until this very day. But it’s sort of my trending mark, what people expect from me. Should I carry on with this conversation or should I have to run to tell the boys about it?

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, Oh, my. Did you meet him face to face? But, what were the circumstances? How did you manage not to fangirl? Was Louis with him?

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, I knew you were going to ask me about Louis. They were all there, actually. I was exiting a bookstore and bumped into a large group of people. My bag fell to the floor and two of the people bent to grab it for me, Harry and Zayn. I didn’t know who they were so there was no reason to fangirl, although Harry made me feel very nervous because he stared at me not letting the bag go for what I felt was an eternity. He politely said ‘bye’ to me, then left. I’ve been craving for him ever since. My, why I am telling you this? You’ll think I’m mental!

I laugh. Do I recall that experience? It was such a tumultuous year I practically don’t remember anything. But if I stared at her it’s because I found her pretty… Stop, Harry; you didn’t want things to take that path…

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, What are you saying? I find it very hot indeed. It must have been a shock when you later realised who he was. And I can definitely see where the idea for ‘Bookstore Girl’ comes from ;)

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, You caught me there! Should I have to tag it as ‘autobiography,’ perhaps? I’m sure the story will get more readers :) Well, I never told this anecdote to any Directioner before. Since you told me you’re from London my year abroad seems to return quite often to my mind. Will you believe I didn’t yet know who he was until the Olympics? I was looking at the telly and saw him singing with his blue suit. He was dashing…

She found me dashing when I was literally dying inside. When I glanced up at that gigantic screen I almost passed out… I can’t restrain a shiver, but after a moment I realise what she just said. She didn’t properly know One Direction until 2012. That’s odd. Maybe she is older than me after all.

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, Oh, yeah, how many great memories… Surely it was a day to remember. So, you are not properly a One Direction’s fan, but a Harry’s one…

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, I knew you were going to tell me that. I don’t think it’s a crime to arrive late. I know the Code, but it’s too strict. I hope not to get into your carrot list…

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, Never. Don’t worry. I’m your fan…

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, Thank you, darling, I have plenty of writing to do. So let’s chat another time. Take care. Tschüss xo.

ILoveTommoBear: DreamingOfYou, Thank you for being here for me xo.

That did sound cryptic and so, so out of line. I wish I could tell the boys but I know they’ve been sleeping for quite a while. I definitely should do the same. Few more hours and we’ll be back in London.

–.–.–

Notes

I'm feeling happy because Germany got to the FIFA World Cup Final and because I had my first hate with this update! Yes! But, please, guys, don't feel hurt by the boys' assumptions. They're not the best [reading in Niall's scottish accent in 'This Is Us' when he's trying to fool a fan] on the matter. This is fiction. I know I'm pretty eccentric and proud of it!

So what happened there? Do you think Harry and DreamingOfYou truly met?

Next chapter: Maybe we'll get some answers.

I can't thank you enough for your comments. It's so good to know your mind. Be curious!

xo

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

cococranberry cococranberry
3/13/19

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

JasperRenee JasperRenee
7/3/18

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah