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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'I can’t be this mad about a girl I don’t even know'

We reunite in London the previous day to our first show. Right now it’s a key date because London represents the hardcore of the fans, and their reaction to our latest troubles is vital. Everything seems to have calmed down a bit after Liam and Simon’s words and, let’s face it, my alleged nude photo watching the box match with my cousins… But the waistband was there if they wanted to see it. What would I be doing lying naked on a sofa with just a bandana around my head? Do people really think I can be that ridiculous? Is that what they expect from me? Anyway, these days, people are so easily distracted from core matter, and we weren’t the exception.

“She’s so American!” Liam shouts as he hears the news, sprinting around the room with his fists in the air.

“Liam, don’t congratulate yourself on this because Stan is not here to back me up–––Louis says from the sofa, frankly annoyed. I’m fighting you till death or till life proves things for a fact. To me she remains French and older–––he states, gesturing with his finger. Maybe she’s going to America on holidays, as many European people do…”

“It’s too tricky, Louis–––Liam chuckles. Not mentioning any city in the US doesn’t mean she’s not from there…” He’s enjoying this so much, I can tell. It’s seems almost as his little personal revenge against Louis.

“You better wait until Stan get a proper clue–––Louis asserts. We’ll crush you.”

“Keep dreaming, Tommo bear…” Liam flicks his hand at him.

“Guys, you are not helping–––I intervene. What do I do?” Zayn and Niall look at me with widen eyes.

“Go to write her and ask!” Niall exclaims giving me an imaginary slap.

“I think you can wait a bit more–––Louis says. Allow Stan to work his magic… You know the facts we’ve been checking turned all right. Everything she mentions in Paris actually exists…” He says glancing towards Niall, who has been helping on the task and shrugs, nodding his head affirmatively.

“Harry, why do you need to find out for yourself?–––Liam snaps. It’s nonsensical!”

“Yeah, I understand it’s more romantic and we seem pretty close–––Niall blurts. But we’re quite anxious around here. We want to meet her already!”

“You’re not meeting anybody–––I state. She’s mine!”

“Oh, come on, Harry. Don’t be like that…” Zayn says. He has been quite discreet since the ‘episode.’ “We are together in this.”

“Yeah, and I’m so thankful–––I retort with a hint of sarcasm. But when we finally get the information it’s me who’s meeting her.”

“Selfish!” Niall screams and they all boo me, except Louis, who’s glancing at me from the side.

“Yeah, she has written about us too, you know,” Zayn says.

“She’s a Harry’s girl!” I claim. Am I speaking in third person? Everyone stares at me disconcerted. “Yeah, I know it sounds strange. But anyway, that means she’s mine!” I insist. They are trying my patience so much.

“For a fact this is sounding too confusing,” Liam giggles collapsing on a sofa.

“Yes, we better find her soon or otherwise we’ll drive each other mad…” Niall chuckles. I see Louis jumping on his seat as he looks at his mobile.

“Stan is just texting me as we speak…” He mutters frowning his eyebrows. We all look on his direction, anxious. “I don’t like this…” He shakes his head ‘no.’ Liam leaps by his side as well as Niall. I’m paralysed against the wall as Zayn glimpses at me, perplexed. “Some girl on the website told him her name is Jane and she believes she’s from Chicago…” Louis quietly speaks glancing at me. As I hear him my hands grip on my crossed arms.

“She has a name!–––Niall jumps as moved by a spring. Jane. I love it!–––he grins. Jane! Jane and Niall… Jiall…” Zayn contorts in cackles over his stomach.

“Shut up, Niall! She’s mine!” I manage to say in the middle of the emotional storm I’m in. Is her name Jane? She’s becoming so real all of a sudden…

“Twat!” He replies.

“I told you she was from the States! Liam exclaims once he’s out of the shock. Yes! I’m a divination’s master!”

“Don’t praise yourself, Payne–––Louis grumbles, choleric. Stan says she ‘believes’ she’s from Chicago. Why isn’t she seeing us there? We got two dates by the end of August…” He mumbles. God, he’s so crossed.

“Maybe she couldn’t get tickets–––Liam meditates. It happens, you know… So she’s going to Philly!” He snaps lifting his arms in gesture of victory. Louis rolls his eyes at him, annoyed.

“Hmmm, Tommo–––Zayn speaks grazing his beard. I guess ‘French and older’ was just a wet dream of yours…” He chuckles. I don’t like how ‘wet dream’ sounds related to her.

“Not that fast, my friend. Not that fast–––Louis observes. We’re getting closer, but don’t jump into conclusions. I know time will prove me right…” He’s so fixated it’s beginning to scare me.

“Who cares where she is from as long as we find her!” Niall blurts, ecstatic. I’m going to murder him if he doesn’t shut up.

“Yes, Louis. Who cares?” Liam says, grinning.

“I care,” Louis answers, dejected.

“You’ve been trying to force us into your little fantasy since day one!” Zayn claims, slapping his back.

“Yes, back off, Tommo bear–––Liam blurts. You are clueless!” I guess American thesis is winning now.

–.–.–

I finally decided to give Louis and Stan a few more days, to be sincere because I was feeling far too confused to do anything else. I was amazed knowing her name though. How could a single name have so much power? But I have to confess ever since that day writing her anonymously on a daily basis has become even harder. Why am I this complicated when everyone has the feeling, especially me, she would tell me who she is if I’d ask her?

I bump into Louis on a corridor of the Stockholm’s hotel. He seems annoyed. I could tell he was crushed after Stan’s message and the mission has been stuck since then. Just about a week is left until Paris. He’s running out of time.

Louis is always playing the tough one and I really don’t know why. We know him better than anybody and no matter what he does he’s our brother. It’d been us listening to him as he quietly cried in bed these past four years when he was missing his loved ones. He should quit it already, but he doesn’t seem to be able to do it. He grabs me by the neck and drags me to his room.

“Do you still want to hear our theory now you believe in American Jane?” He ironises making me sit by the end of his bed pointing at me with his finger and resting a hand on my shoulder. I nod. “You told me she said she does study Literature. Do you remember on ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’ when Laila tells Harry she researches about Fan Fiction? Well, you seemed not to pay too much attention to it but Stan and I did–––he explains. Few chapters ago she came back to the subject… It can’t be a coincidence. There’s something there… We are a name away. Ask her surname,” he mumbles. So they think she’s a researcher, and he’s beginning to despair.

“It’s too easy. We need to stick to the plan,” I assert.

“You say that because you surrendered to Liam’s thesis so you are not afraid to miss her in Paris,” he grumbles taking a full turn. I don’t know what to say. Facts are there. “You have!–––he blurts as I don’t answer. Traitor!”

“Louis, I don’t want to crush you but you are sort of fixated on her and this idea,” I try to explain my attitude.

“Do you think I’m fixated on her?” He snaps.

“Everyone has noticed it–––I mumble. Even El… You are a lot into her.”

“Haven’t you listened to a single word I’ve been saying from the beginning?–––he claims, exasperated. It’s not me who’s mad about her, it’s you, but you are too numb to realise it, so it has become my call. I told you once. This is your heart speaking through me because you don’t listen to yourself!”

“Louis, I can’t be this mad about a girl I don’t even know…” I mutter. I can’t, but I am.

“You know her, fool. And she knows you! You need to reunite and sort things out!” He grumbles, practically out of himself. God, he’s scaring me.

“Louis, you sound as a madman…”

“I am a madman,” he retorts.

“Louis, what’s going on with you?–––I ask, concerned. You can tell me, man. We are best friends…” His eyes widen and suddenly his expression transforms. He looks so sad.

“I don’t know, Harry–––he admits throwing his head forward. Right now I feel I’m almost on free falling. You’ll laugh at me but this research is the only thing that keeps me focused. Being able to do this for you… I’ve been failing you for a while.”

“Louis, weed is not a trouble to me,” I say as he looks at me.

“I’ve been neglecting you–––he blurts. Everybody senses it, even the fans. I’ve been so absorbed trying to protect my relationship with Eleanor and minding my own business I’ve forgotten about everything else.”

“Because you love her and it’s OK–––I assert. I don’t need public demonstrations. I know you are here for me…”

“That’s why I’ve been feeling extra bad about the whole incident… I should be protecting you instead of jeopardising everything we have worked for–––he shakes his head. You are the most unselfish person I know and you have so much to lose in this I know I’ve let you down–––he glances up, lightly smiling. One day One Direction will dissolve into molecules but you’ll stand up and demonstrate the world what boy bands are really made of,” he says proudly, bringing his hand back to my shoulder. My lower lip trembles. “But you are so thoughtful it’s not even your future career you’ve being worrying about. You care so much about everyone being OK you almost neglect yourself.”

“Louis…” I try to interrupt him.

“I’m as much responsible for Larry as you…” He finally mutters the source of his troubles. I should have imagined it. “It has been so unfair of me to take it against you. I know there’s nothing you can do about it. Years proved they’d think what they want independently of our behaviour around each other. I’ve been so worried… I’m sorry–––he snickers. Please, forgive me for everything and let me help you. Ask for her surname…”

“I won’t–––I firmly say. I trust you, Louis. I trust our friendship and I trust the boys and I trust Stan. I know we’ll find her first,” I tap his arm reassuringly. The worries clouding his eyes seem to be gone, I hope forever.

“Are you sure?–––he giggles. Everyone is getting desperate around here…” I know I am.

–.–.–

“Have you seen she has ended ‘A Season In Paris’? I’m mourning over it,” Niall says approaching me from behind, forcing me to step out from my thoughts. I rest my cup of tea on the table and lightly nod my head. “Did you get the end?–––he asks and I can sense the rejoicing on his voice. You and your girl stay as friends while I propose to mine… She thinks I’m boyfriend material instead of you…” He chuckles on my ear placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Niall, you are supposed to be mourning–––I mumble, annoyed. So shut up!”

“You are so angry with the ending. I can see it–––he blurts jumping in front of me. You find it too realistic…” God, he’s right. She knows I’m a mess. “Clementine, ai, ai ai. It was never meant to be this way. It was never meant to be this way; if only I told you yesterday…” He sings making fun of me, pointing at my nose with his finger.

“Back off, Niall!” I say, slapping the air in front of him, and fall back against my chair. I’m in such anger I can barely look at him as he leaves, catching Zayn by the neck on his way out. I turn towards my MacBook over the table and begin to type.

ILoveTommoBear: Dear DreamingOfYou, I just read ‘A Season In Paris’ ending. Sort of sad…

I hope she’s online, or maybe not. Am I ready to hear her reasons to make me quit a beautiful relationship?

DreamingOfYou: ILoveTommoBear, I think Louis’ story finished pretty well, isn’t it? Just for you, darling… ;)

God, she’s such a sweetheart. I thought it was him who would stay single at the end.

ILoveTommoBear: I’m pretty pleased with it. Poor Harry though; but I guess it makes sense…

DreamingOfYou: I’m sorry my fantasy doesn’t involve Harry married and father of five. I quite like it on other stories but I can’t describe him like that. He’s so young. He has plenty of things to do before he gets to that point.

She has to be older than me, regardless of her country. And I’m not that young anymore… I’m twenty years old already and sometimes I feel like eighty. She thinks my true self is immature, although this is the first time she puts it on her writing. Maybe now I’m more sensitive towards her work, but even ‘Bookstore Girl’ finished better and my character was younger there. And how come she doesn’t fantasise of being the mother of my child?

ILoveTommoBear: You are probably right… What do you think about the tour so far?

DreamingOfYou: I’ve been greatly enjoying it. Harry seems OK, as well as Louis. I hope they’re fine.

ILoveTommoBear: I think they are although friendship is hard work…

I chuckle. I hope one day she’ll reread this and hate me because it’ll mean I met her. I am so close… I know Paris is getting nearer and Louis is about to collapse, but I almost don’t care where she’s from at this point.

DreamingOfYou: They’ll be just fine, I’m sure. Every time I see Harry dancing I recall that song by Everclear, ‘Local God.’ Do you know it?

ILoveTommoBear: I don’t. Let me hear it…

It’s Youtube’s time. OK, let’s see… ‘Romeo and Juliet’ soundtrack… Interesting. It was pretty obvious she loves Shakespeare. I like the grungy guitar intro… It sounds a bit as ‘Teenage Dirtbag,’ well, all the way around because this came first. I squint as I hear the lyrics of the first verse but then I laugh. My, she’s so ironic it should be Louis here and not me… Take that thought back, brain. The chorus seems so appropriate… This song is my anthem! How could I not know it? I’m sure I’ve seen the movie…

ILoveTommoBear: That part ‘I see you twist and turn, you look so stupid, happy and numb’ fits him perfectly. You are quite an unconventional fan ;)

Here’s the scene where the song is included. Hmm, Romeo and Mercutio guy pink colour’s dialogue she mentions on the blowjob’s scene in ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’… A 16th century’s joke just to say I have a pink cock? How does her mind work? She’s so devious… What’s this other song, ‘I Will Buy You A New Life’? This is so good, and nice video too… I’m definitely buying Everclear on iTunes. Oh, she answers.

DreamingOfYou: ‘Do that stupid dance for me’… He’s everything to me lately…

Sweet mother of God…

ILoveTommoBear: I’m sure he’ll love to hear you say that.

God, I hope she’ll super hate me.

DreamingOfYou: I’m sure he has a secret girlfriend who whispers sweet nothings better than mine to his ear every night.

I stop dead. She must have listened the interview with Scott from the other week… As if I could keep anything secret… Isn’t it mad she’s the original secret, which is I’m falling for a fan I barely know nothing about?

ILoveTommoBear: Do you believe in those rumours?

DreamingOfYou: Oh, what rumours? Sorry, I’ve been so concentrated on my writing I haven’t been online in a while.

What? How could I be her everything if it doesn’t mean she’s glued to Tumblr and Twitter? Something’s up here…

ILoveTommoBear: About a girl back in the US. Social media is on fire.

DreamingOfYou: Oh, well. I hope it’s true. He seems a bit lonely.

That was so unexpected. My heart is jumping on my chest. She knows how I’ve been feeling but I don’t seem to be able to get her…

ILoveTommoBear: Aren’t you jealous?

DreamingOfYou: An Elounor’s shipper asking me that? Well, I’m not planning on marrying Harry anytime soon so I guess no offense is made :)

She’s definitely not from this earth… As I reread her words I feel my mobile vibrating on my pocket. It’s a message. My jaw drops.

Louis: Freeze! We got her!

–.–.–

Notes

Freeze! We got her!

They got her!!! DreamingOfYou's identity will be revealed in the next chapter. Huge plot twist ahead so hang on tightly to your chairs!

I'm a nervous mess right now.

I've been having more trouble to write these notes lately than the Fan Fiction itself. Remember, this is fiction. So if you don't like this interpretation of reality or dislike the mention of Larry, don't hate it, just pass it by. Mikkemille, we are definitely on the same frequency but you are always a step ahead. I was writing this chapter when you posted yours referring to the same subject, and yours was way better :) I hope you update Big Hot Mess soon and to hear what you have to say about this madness.

I want to thank every one of you for sharing your time with me. It means so much. More people have joined the boat so I'm very thankful. Next update is just around the corner. Anyone has a theory? Until then madness will go on!

Be curious! Curious is good!

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

cococranberry cococranberry
3/13/19

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

JasperRenee JasperRenee
7/3/18

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah