Untitled

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At the Bachelor Pad

The kids and Harry were over at the bachelor pad while Sammie was out for work. Harry was with Liam, Louis, Niall (the only residents of the pad now) in the dining room while the children played in the lounge.

'Make it bigger JM' Taleiah giggled as her brother blew up the balloon they found on the floor.

'Is it big enough?' he showed her sister.

'Yeah! Let's get Dad to tie it' she said and the two ran to find Harry.

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Harry's POV:

'Dad can you tie our balloon' JM and TJ ran in the room.

The boys and I gasped and our eyes widened at the sight of what he thought was a balloon.

'That's not a balloon' Louis hissed to me across the table.

BOOOOM! The rubber popped and liquid splashed onto my son's face.

'Ewwww' TJ pulled a sour face before running out.

'That's nasty' Niall cringed his face. JM cried out loud and I took him to get washed up.

-

After I had managed to get all the liquid of his small face, I brushed his teeth and washed his mouth several times.

'Are you okay now?' I asked him.

'Yes Dad' he replied and left to go to the lounge. I went back into the dining and found the boys laughing among themselves. I walked towards the table with his hands on my hips slightly upset by the incident.

'It wasn't mine' Liam threw his hands up in defence.

'Not mine' Louis shook his head as he continued to laugh.

'Hey don't look at me' Niall objected.

'Guys its not funny!' I told them off.

'Sorry' the boys apologised. My anger caused a wave of silence in the room but it wasn't long till the boys broke out into laughing again.

'Haah...rold come on....yoo-ouu have to admit it wa-as fu...funny' Louis held his belly as he contained his laughs.

'Okay fine it was' I gave in and started to chuckle. 'Can this day get any worse...'I sighed.

'Dad, Dad' TJ ran in the room and tugged my arm.

'I know who can be my playmate' she said excitedly.

'Who?' I looked down to her eye level.

'A SISTER' her eyes twinkled and she flashed me a smile revealing her dimple. On the contrary, my eyes widened in surprise and my jaw dropped open.

'Daddy I want a sister! I want a sister!' she jumped up and down as she tugged my arm. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure that I was awake and hearing things right.

'Umm...okay sweetie' I muttered. I knew if I said no to her it would be like denying her chocolates and that always ended with her in tears and I hated seeing any of my children crying.

'So when is she coming?' she asked eagerly like a kid waiting for Christmas.

'Umm TJ, Daddy and Mummy are gonna have to talk about it first okay' I pulled my daughter towards me as I went to seat down on the chair.

'Skip the talking and just get on to it' Louis spoke.

'Shut-up' I gritted my teeth at him.

'Looks like there's gonna be a lot of sex tonight' Niall laughed.

'Daddy what's sex?' TJ's eyebrows winkled as she asked. My eyes widened as the word came out of my 4 year old's mouth. I hissed through my teeth and shot Niall a killer look.

'Errmm...its how babies are made' I told her the truth.

'How?' her curiosity about the topic at such a young age took me by surprise. I wasn't prepared to give my daughter the "sex talk" for at least 10 more years.

'Okay sweetie its kinda like this' I scratched my head wondering how I was going to explain this.

'It's like ummm...' I looked up trying to think of a logic explanation for a 4 year old.

'Sooo when the Mummy bunny and the Daddy bunny love each other very very very MUCH....they both err' I stopped as I struggled to explain the rest.

'Ummm they go down into the bunny hole and they stay there for a while' I created a story.

'Then?' she raised her eyebrows.

'Then....' I muttered trying to think.

'Then the mummy lays an egg on the ground and then...... errr the dad gives it some water and food so it grows' I created a G rated analogy of reproduction.

'Then after a while the egg hatches and the baby bunny comes out' I ended my story.

'WOWWW' my daughter stood amazed.

'So we're going to get a Mummy bunny and a Daddy bunny and then I get to have a sister?' she asked in excitement.

'HUHHH?' my eyes widened. She had missed interpreted my analogy and instead of trying to put some logic into her I've just made her believe that babies comes from bunnies. Oh great!

'Thanks Dad' she gave me a hug and ran off.

'Oh Mann' the boys laughed.

'Zayn's missing out on this, let's call him' Liam dialled on his iphone.

'Really Harry!' Louis laughed.

'Fine you think of a better story' I challenged him.

'Hey Zayn your on speaker, Harry's here' Liam spoke on the phone.

'Hey lads whats going on?' Zayn asked.

'A lot' the boys chorused.

'Harry explained to Taleiah HIS version of the meaning of sex' Liam informed him.

'He used a bunny's burrow to symbolise Sammie's Vajayjay' Louis chuckled.

'And the water and food the Daddy bunny brings symbolised Harry's semen' Niall added.

'This is all your fault Zayn' I called out to the phone.

'What? Why me?' Zayn replied.

'I mean how did I ended up with kids first?' I wondered. 'You got married 2 years before me!?' I emphasised.

'It's cause your horny Harold' Louis laughed.

'Man, can you hurry up and give my children play mates' I told Zayn.

'Haz, I'm pretty sure YOU can do that on your own' Zayn laughed through the speakers.

-

After a loonggg day, it was finally time to hit the bed.

'Beddtimeee' I called out as I entered the kids room. The children ran passed each other to get to their beds. I went to my eldest child and tucked him into bed.

'Dad can you play with me tomorrow?' JM asked as he hugged his Minions.

'Of course buddy' I nodded.

'Goodnight Dad' he got up on his bed and hugged me.

'Goodnight son' I embraced him and placed a kiss on his head. JM slipped back into bed and I descended down his staircase to move to TJ's s castle.

'Daddy where's Mummy?' she asked as I sat on her bed filled with toys.

'Mummy's taking a shower sweetie, she's very tired she just came home from work' I stroked her hair.

'So I'm going to read you your bedtime story tonight, is that alright?' I asked.

'Okay Dad' she nodded.

'I want the one Mummy tells me' she told me.

'Which one sweetie?' I asked as I searched through the book case.

'It's not there....she just tells the story' she informed me.

'Oh, I don't think I know that' I turned back to her. 'What's it called?' I asked.

'The King with the green eyes' she divulged.

'Huh.... Oh really?' I let out a smirk at the title of the story. 'How does the story go?'I asked curious.

'Well one day a King met a girl at party' TJ began the story.

'What was her name?' I asked.

'I dunno know' she shrugged and continued the story. 'The King had curly hair and two dimples, like you' she giggled as she poked my cheeks.

'And the girl really like him' she revealed which caused a smile to slip out of my lips.

'But she thought that she wasn't pretty...' TJ continued.

'Yes she is' I interrupted.

'...and she thought the King would never like her' she said.

'Yes he does' I objected.

'Dad you keep interrupting!!' she told me off.

'Sorry' I let out a small laugh.

Samantha's POV:
I stumbled towards the bed and slipped under the duvet. Harry closed the door as he entered the room. He went into bed and I shuffled next to him.

'How was your day?' he asked as he played with my hair.

'Exhausting' I replied with sleepy eyes.

'Guess what babe?' Harry spoke full of energy.

'What?' I mumbled as my eyes slowly closed.

'Today, TJ asked if she could have a sister' Harry informed me.

'What...' Immediately my eyes flew open.

'Then she asked were babies come from' Harry chuckled.

'What!' I exclaimed.

'Then she asked what sex was' Harry continued.

'What!?' I sat up in shock.

'Oh and did I forget to tell you that our 4 year old son blew up a used condom and semen spilt all over his face' Harry covered his face as he laughed.

'WHAAAATTT!?!' I yelled and Harry covered his ears. 'Harry!!!' I shouted and he flinched back at tone of my voice.

'He found the condom on the floor at the bachelor pad and he thought it was a balloon' he explained. 'Babe don't worry I brushed his teeth like 5 times' he assured me.

'Maybe we SHOULD get a nanny' I folded my arms.

'Yes!' Harry threw fist pumps in the air. 'Ughhh' I rolled my eyes then went to lay back down.

'Go to sleep!' I told Harry.

'Night Mummy' he was about to lean down for a kiss when I quickly pushed his face with my hand.

'No kiss' I said sternly. 'Condoms, sex, babies....oh my gosh Harry' I mumbled and I heard him laugh.

'It was a good day' he declared.

Notes