SAY SOMETHING
Chapter 15
Annie’s POV
I didn’t text Harry that day like he had wanted me to if I needed something. I didn’t want him to feel like I was depending on him and relying on him again to be there for me to pick up the pieces when I broke and to be honest…. I didn’t want to start depending on him either…The truth was that I loved Harry and there was no question or doubt in my mind about it, however, I was still so worried and concerned about what would happen between us. As much as I love him, and as much as he claims my heart…
He hurt me…
He said words to me that I never thought would escape his lips and gave me a fierce look that I never thought his emerald eyes would direct at me. And that scared me.
It scared me that I was maybe being naïve about my feelings and not understanding that maybe I didn’t know Harry as well as I thought I had, even though I could have sworn I knew almost every miniscule fact about him…there was an obvious misunderstanding that surfaced and we never worked it out.
So if I didn’t truly know Harry back then, in the days where I’d spend every waking moment with him that I could, and during the days that I would give anything just to see his indescribable green eyes and hear his heartwarming laughter, but knew he was too busy with his growing career to see me…
I understood… He was finally living his dream… And I wasn’t going to be the one to take that away from him or make him feel guilty. No one should feel guilty about pursuing their dreams…
If I didn’t truly know him then how could I possibly know him now? As much as you try, you can’t truly know someone just by watching interviews, music videos, and “Funny Moments” on YouTube all day…. You just can’t…
You don’t know how he feels when he hears the rain falling, or what he thinks when he sees a field sparkling with white snow…
You don’t know what imaginations flood his dreams or why he wakes up with his heart racing…
You don’t know what he thinks about in the last glimmering moments of consciousness before he falls asleep…
You’ll never truly understand why he never removes the cross around his neck, or why he got each of the tattoos that decorate his body…
You can’t possibly know him…
Even though I know more about him than the average “fangirl” I can’t pretend that I am an expert on Harry Styles. I can’t sit here and pretend that just because he was my other half three years ago doesn’t mean that it’s the same today…
… It doesn’t mean I have an understanding of him that his superb in relation to any other.
People change… and I don’t know who he is anymore…
“Carlton, could you wash these paintbrushes please? And I’ll finish putting your pieces on display.” I smiled at her for a second before I looked back down at the paperwork on the front counter.
“Sure thing Annie.” She chirped and grabbed the paintbrushes tinted with drying red and teal paints before she took them to the backroom.
A couple seconds after Carlton disappeared, I heard the bell above the door ring indicating that someone had just walked in. Dammit, I thought I told her to lock the door… I thought.
“We’re closed.” I said simply without taking my eyes off of the paperwork.
“Doesn’t look like it to me.” Said a voice that I’d know anywhere.
I lifted my head timidly and saw Harry standing there in sunglasses with a black hoodie covering his curls, black skinny jeans and signature brown boots. He kind of reminded me of a casual secret agent.
He removed the sunglasses and the hood simultaneously and gave me a small smirk. “How are you?” He asked his tone suddenly becoming serious.
I let my shoulders sag, “Could you ask a more simple question?”
His eyebrows knit into a concerned frown, “Why? What’s wrong?” He asked as he began to walk over to me.
“I really don’t want to talk about it Harry…” I mumbled and turned around to put the paperwork into its proper folder. It was the truth I really didn’t. Part of the reason was because half of it involved him and the other half involved someone I’d care not to remember…
“Fair enough. I actually came here to get your mind off of him,” he shrugged as I turned back around. His hands were now crammed in the pockets of his hoodie. I looked at him quizzically and he elaborated, “I just wanted you to have a fun night with no worries. I was just thinking we could watch a movie and order pizza or something. You don’t deserve this kind of stress.” He mumbled the last sentence.
I felt my mouth pull into a small smile before I could think about what I was doing. I really shouldn’t be seeing him again and I shouldn’t try to reconnect…. I shouldn’t hang out with him like how we used to…
But I couldn’t help myself…
“Thank you Harry.” I whispered and his dimpled smirk came back as his emerald eyes lit with relief and excitement. “Let me just finish closing down the gallery okay?” I asked and he nodded.
“Sounds good.”
“Hey, Annie I finished cleaning the—Harry!” Carlton exclaimed as she came back out of the backroom.
He took one of his hands out of his pocket to wave at her awkwardly and then he shoved it back in again. “Carlton.” He acknowledged.
“1D Day was fantastic. I tried to watch as much of it as I could. I can’t believe you guys did that!”
He let out a chuckle and through his head back for a second, “Well thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was incredibly exhausting after about the 5th hour.”
“Well congratulations!” She said giddily and she tore her gaze off of him and she looked at me. “Is there anything else you need me to do or am I done for the day?” She asked.
“No, I think you’re good. I’ll see you tomorrow Carlton.” I smiled as she nodded and walked out of the shop. Once she had disappeared around the corner I looked at him with an amused look on my face.
“What?” He chuckled.
“Do you ever get used to that?” I asked.
“Not really, no.” He laughed and for a second too long we were admiring each other’s eyes and small smile. I blinked quickly and looked down as he cleared his throat and looked around my gallery obviously realizing the same thing. “Well hurry up. I want pizza.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes at him and turned around to organize some papers, a massive smile spreading across my cheeks as I did.
I didn’t text Harry that day like he had wanted me to if I needed something. I didn’t want him to feel like I was depending on him and relying on him again to be there for me to pick up the pieces when I broke and to be honest…. I didn’t want to start depending on him either…The truth was that I loved Harry and there was no question or doubt in my mind about it, however, I was still so worried and concerned about what would happen between us. As much as I love him, and as much as he claims my heart…
He hurt me…
He said words to me that I never thought would escape his lips and gave me a fierce look that I never thought his emerald eyes would direct at me. And that scared me.
It scared me that I was maybe being naïve about my feelings and not understanding that maybe I didn’t know Harry as well as I thought I had, even though I could have sworn I knew almost every miniscule fact about him…there was an obvious misunderstanding that surfaced and we never worked it out.
So if I didn’t truly know Harry back then, in the days where I’d spend every waking moment with him that I could, and during the days that I would give anything just to see his indescribable green eyes and hear his heartwarming laughter, but knew he was too busy with his growing career to see me…
I understood… He was finally living his dream… And I wasn’t going to be the one to take that away from him or make him feel guilty. No one should feel guilty about pursuing their dreams…
If I didn’t truly know him then how could I possibly know him now? As much as you try, you can’t truly know someone just by watching interviews, music videos, and “Funny Moments” on YouTube all day…. You just can’t…
You don’t know how he feels when he hears the rain falling, or what he thinks when he sees a field sparkling with white snow…
You don’t know what imaginations flood his dreams or why he wakes up with his heart racing…
You don’t know what he thinks about in the last glimmering moments of consciousness before he falls asleep…
You’ll never truly understand why he never removes the cross around his neck, or why he got each of the tattoos that decorate his body…
You can’t possibly know him…
Even though I know more about him than the average “fangirl” I can’t pretend that I am an expert on Harry Styles. I can’t sit here and pretend that just because he was my other half three years ago doesn’t mean that it’s the same today…
… It doesn’t mean I have an understanding of him that his superb in relation to any other.
People change… and I don’t know who he is anymore…
“Carlton, could you wash these paintbrushes please? And I’ll finish putting your pieces on display.” I smiled at her for a second before I looked back down at the paperwork on the front counter.
“Sure thing Annie.” She chirped and grabbed the paintbrushes tinted with drying red and teal paints before she took them to the backroom.
A couple seconds after Carlton disappeared, I heard the bell above the door ring indicating that someone had just walked in. Dammit, I thought I told her to lock the door… I thought.
“We’re closed.” I said simply without taking my eyes off of the paperwork.
“Doesn’t look like it to me.” Said a voice that I’d know anywhere.
I lifted my head timidly and saw Harry standing there in sunglasses with a black hoodie covering his curls, black skinny jeans and signature brown boots. He kind of reminded me of a casual secret agent.
He removed the sunglasses and the hood simultaneously and gave me a small smirk. “How are you?” He asked his tone suddenly becoming serious.
I let my shoulders sag, “Could you ask a more simple question?”
His eyebrows knit into a concerned frown, “Why? What’s wrong?” He asked as he began to walk over to me.
“I really don’t want to talk about it Harry…” I mumbled and turned around to put the paperwork into its proper folder. It was the truth I really didn’t. Part of the reason was because half of it involved him and the other half involved someone I’d care not to remember…
“Fair enough. I actually came here to get your mind off of him,” he shrugged as I turned back around. His hands were now crammed in the pockets of his hoodie. I looked at him quizzically and he elaborated, “I just wanted you to have a fun night with no worries. I was just thinking we could watch a movie and order pizza or something. You don’t deserve this kind of stress.” He mumbled the last sentence.
I felt my mouth pull into a small smile before I could think about what I was doing. I really shouldn’t be seeing him again and I shouldn’t try to reconnect…. I shouldn’t hang out with him like how we used to…
But I couldn’t help myself…
“Thank you Harry.” I whispered and his dimpled smirk came back as his emerald eyes lit with relief and excitement. “Let me just finish closing down the gallery okay?” I asked and he nodded.
“Sounds good.”
“Hey, Annie I finished cleaning the—Harry!” Carlton exclaimed as she came back out of the backroom.
He took one of his hands out of his pocket to wave at her awkwardly and then he shoved it back in again. “Carlton.” He acknowledged.
“1D Day was fantastic. I tried to watch as much of it as I could. I can’t believe you guys did that!”
He let out a chuckle and through his head back for a second, “Well thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was incredibly exhausting after about the 5th hour.”
“Well congratulations!” She said giddily and she tore her gaze off of him and she looked at me. “Is there anything else you need me to do or am I done for the day?” She asked.
“No, I think you’re good. I’ll see you tomorrow Carlton.” I smiled as she nodded and walked out of the shop. Once she had disappeared around the corner I looked at him with an amused look on my face.
“What?” He chuckled.
“Do you ever get used to that?” I asked.
“Not really, no.” He laughed and for a second too long we were admiring each other’s eyes and small smile. I blinked quickly and looked down as he cleared his throat and looked around my gallery obviously realizing the same thing. “Well hurry up. I want pizza.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes at him and turned around to organize some papers, a massive smile spreading across my cheeks as I did.
Notes
Hey lovelies!! Sorry this is kind of a sucky update and it's definitely a filler chapter. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and new year (If you celebrate Christmas or Hanukah, and if neither then I love you anyway <3)
So!! 2015 has finally arrived like waaaat!! 2014 went by like the snap of a finger anybody feel me? So the cool part though is that I first published Half a Heart about a year ago exactly so that's exciting :) I can never say this enough, but thank you so much for all of the support all of you have given me over the year. I still find such joy in writing and reading your comments, seeing the number of votes and subscribers go up puts such a massive smile on my face and makes me so happy so thank you so so much :)
With that being said, I just started a new semester at college so I probably won't have a lot of time to update in the next couple of months unfortunately :( I promise I'll update when I can, but don't be expecting an update for awhile. I'm going to be so busy gaaaaaaah.
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This is amazing omg
11/6/16