SAY SOMETHING
Chapter 14
Annie’s POV
As soon as I knew that Carlton had dropped the topic of Harry and Peter and my apparent obvious discomfort with the sound of their names, I went up to my private studio so I could get my head on straight before people started to trickle in. I made up some lame excuse like there were supplies I needed to grab and bring down.
I sat down on my stool and stared blankly at the canvas in front of me, lacking any signs of artistry.
A blank canvas is like life. It can be overwhelming, intimidating, and even a bit scary to start a new masterpiece, because you’re unsure if you’ll be able to first conjure an idea, and then you must express this idea with a paintbrush. But what if you can’t get the picture to be portrayed the way you saw it in your mind? What if you have this perception of how your life will go, but as soon as you step foot on the path you forget how to walk? But then your mind reels with the epiphany you needed to continue or get started; instead of remembering how to walk you break into a run only to find exactly what you were looking for and more. Your masterpiece becomes more than even your imagination could think of.
In the end, the process and the journey was worth it because you reached where you wanted to go and exceeded your expectations. You just have to put your mind to it and accomplish whatever it was you desired and go beyond that.
Make your dreams a stepping-stone for the future.
Those were my thoughts every time I stood in front of a blank canvas. They were the same thoughts I had when I was deciding if I would move back to LA or not and it frightened me, but now I know I’m where I need to be.
But then comes Harry, always entering my life when I needed him most. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met him on my first day at that mother fucking school. I’d probably still be friends with Celine…
I shook my head vigorously trying to get that thought out of my mind. I hadn’t thought about that bitch in years, but I’ll never forget the shit she pulled over me.
Bitch…
I took a deep breath and looked around my studio, a place that had become my escape from reality. I had taken my blank canvas and made it more than I could have possibly hoped for.
I got off my stool glumly and rubbed my aching temple with my index finger and my middle finger as I looked for some random art supplies to take back downstairs with me.
Harry may have broken my tough exterior, and yes I cry all the time now. However, I didn’t want Carlton to see just how broken I really was…
I walked back downstairs and just before I reached the door I tried to collect myself as best as possible. I put a fake bounce in my step and tried to put some life into my facial expression, but I was breaking on the inside….No, I wasn’t breaking, I was deteriorating slowly into something that I wouldn’t be able to stand much longer…
I pushed the door open as enthusiastically as I could and saw that there were no customers scanning my work. For the first time I was relieved to see my gallery empty. I didn’t know how long I’d be able to keep up my fake sense of pride and happiness.
I heard a noise coming from the backroom. It sounded like voices…. Voices that I recognized, but it didn’t make any sense…
I walked into the room and saw Carlton with her laptop on the table and her ass in one of the orange plastic chairs, a wide grin plastered across her face.
I walked up behind her, but she didn’t notice.
My heart leapt nearly out of my chest when I saw Harry on the computer screen. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and an earth colored bandana pushed his curls out of his face. I caught myself gazing in awe at the tattoos scattered on his arm, some peeking from underneath his shirtsleeve. I had finally been able to admire those tattoos in person, and they were more beautiful than this computer screen could ever portray.
“What’s this?” I asked and tried to make sure my voice didn’t crack, though I’m not sure how well I did…
Carlton jumped, obviously unaware that I had walked into the room. “Oh Annie!” She said and slammed her laptop closed.
“No, what was that?” I asked though I was sure I already knew.
“Uh,” Carlton played nervously with the ends of her hair, “It’s uh… the 1D Day Livestream.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that was today,” I said simply.
“Annie, I’m so sorry. I know that you’re going through a lot of personal issues with him right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a Directioner anymore. I’m really sorry I just really wanted to watch it.” She rambled.
I chuckled softly, “No, it’s okay. I actually wanted to see it too. You can watch it, but just make sure that you have your ass out there if you hear that bell ring over the door.”
She nodded vigorously and reopened her laptop. I pulled up a chair as her computer awoke and resumed the livestream. Piers Morgan was interviewing the boys and I chuckled to myself as they continued to bring up how stinky he was. I laughed even harder as Niall explained why he himself smelled so bad, a classic Niall response that was.
Then Piers moved to Harry and I watched him fidget anxiously on his couch as he played with his knitted fingers in his lap as he waited for Piers’ question.
“Now about 1 in 3 of all the questions I’ve had were…very simple,” and he paused for a moment of dramatic effect, “Are you dating Kendall Jenner?”
My smile was immediately wiped off my face and I could feel my stomach erupt with nauseating butterflies. All of a sudden I didn’t feel very well. I’d done the best I could to avoid the rumors about Harry and Kendall, but it was foolish of me to disregard them entirely and now the universe was mocking me.
Harry stuttered nervously, “Um—I mean—We went out for dinner, but no I guess—“
My thoughts clouded with his words and I missed what Piers was saying until I heard the words, “—a budding romance?” and I felt another wave of nausea.
“Don’t know,” Harry said anxiously as he looked at his producers for help. The producers got the memo and frantically screamed “Move on! Move on!” and Harry nodded and said, “Yeah let’s move on shall we!” As he tried to make an awkward situation comical like he always did.
I stood up from my chair hastily and grasped the back of the chair as I tried not to throw up. “Shit,” I breathed.
“Annie, are you okay?” Carlton asked with concern threaded into her voice.
I took a deep breath. “Yeah—yeah I’m fine,” I said trying to catch my breath, “I just wasn’t expecting that and it’s effecting me much more than I thought it would.”
I stumbled out of the workroom and rested my hand over my racing heart as I tried to calm it down. I needed to get a grip on myself and come to terms with what I wanted in my life…
I hit my forehead with my palm immediately as those thoughts went through my mind…
I already know what I want…
Harry…
As soon as I knew that Carlton had dropped the topic of Harry and Peter and my apparent obvious discomfort with the sound of their names, I went up to my private studio so I could get my head on straight before people started to trickle in. I made up some lame excuse like there were supplies I needed to grab and bring down.
I sat down on my stool and stared blankly at the canvas in front of me, lacking any signs of artistry.
A blank canvas is like life. It can be overwhelming, intimidating, and even a bit scary to start a new masterpiece, because you’re unsure if you’ll be able to first conjure an idea, and then you must express this idea with a paintbrush. But what if you can’t get the picture to be portrayed the way you saw it in your mind? What if you have this perception of how your life will go, but as soon as you step foot on the path you forget how to walk? But then your mind reels with the epiphany you needed to continue or get started; instead of remembering how to walk you break into a run only to find exactly what you were looking for and more. Your masterpiece becomes more than even your imagination could think of.
In the end, the process and the journey was worth it because you reached where you wanted to go and exceeded your expectations. You just have to put your mind to it and accomplish whatever it was you desired and go beyond that.
Make your dreams a stepping-stone for the future.
Those were my thoughts every time I stood in front of a blank canvas. They were the same thoughts I had when I was deciding if I would move back to LA or not and it frightened me, but now I know I’m where I need to be.
But then comes Harry, always entering my life when I needed him most. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met him on my first day at that mother fucking school. I’d probably still be friends with Celine…
I shook my head vigorously trying to get that thought out of my mind. I hadn’t thought about that bitch in years, but I’ll never forget the shit she pulled over me.
Bitch…
I took a deep breath and looked around my studio, a place that had become my escape from reality. I had taken my blank canvas and made it more than I could have possibly hoped for.
I got off my stool glumly and rubbed my aching temple with my index finger and my middle finger as I looked for some random art supplies to take back downstairs with me.
Harry may have broken my tough exterior, and yes I cry all the time now. However, I didn’t want Carlton to see just how broken I really was…
I walked back downstairs and just before I reached the door I tried to collect myself as best as possible. I put a fake bounce in my step and tried to put some life into my facial expression, but I was breaking on the inside….No, I wasn’t breaking, I was deteriorating slowly into something that I wouldn’t be able to stand much longer…
I pushed the door open as enthusiastically as I could and saw that there were no customers scanning my work. For the first time I was relieved to see my gallery empty. I didn’t know how long I’d be able to keep up my fake sense of pride and happiness.
I heard a noise coming from the backroom. It sounded like voices…. Voices that I recognized, but it didn’t make any sense…
I walked into the room and saw Carlton with her laptop on the table and her ass in one of the orange plastic chairs, a wide grin plastered across her face.
I walked up behind her, but she didn’t notice.
My heart leapt nearly out of my chest when I saw Harry on the computer screen. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and an earth colored bandana pushed his curls out of his face. I caught myself gazing in awe at the tattoos scattered on his arm, some peeking from underneath his shirtsleeve. I had finally been able to admire those tattoos in person, and they were more beautiful than this computer screen could ever portray.
“What’s this?” I asked and tried to make sure my voice didn’t crack, though I’m not sure how well I did…
Carlton jumped, obviously unaware that I had walked into the room. “Oh Annie!” She said and slammed her laptop closed.
“No, what was that?” I asked though I was sure I already knew.
“Uh,” Carlton played nervously with the ends of her hair, “It’s uh… the 1D Day Livestream.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that was today,” I said simply.
“Annie, I’m so sorry. I know that you’re going through a lot of personal issues with him right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a Directioner anymore. I’m really sorry I just really wanted to watch it.” She rambled.
I chuckled softly, “No, it’s okay. I actually wanted to see it too. You can watch it, but just make sure that you have your ass out there if you hear that bell ring over the door.”
She nodded vigorously and reopened her laptop. I pulled up a chair as her computer awoke and resumed the livestream. Piers Morgan was interviewing the boys and I chuckled to myself as they continued to bring up how stinky he was. I laughed even harder as Niall explained why he himself smelled so bad, a classic Niall response that was.
Then Piers moved to Harry and I watched him fidget anxiously on his couch as he played with his knitted fingers in his lap as he waited for Piers’ question.
“Now about 1 in 3 of all the questions I’ve had were…very simple,” and he paused for a moment of dramatic effect, “Are you dating Kendall Jenner?”
My smile was immediately wiped off my face and I could feel my stomach erupt with nauseating butterflies. All of a sudden I didn’t feel very well. I’d done the best I could to avoid the rumors about Harry and Kendall, but it was foolish of me to disregard them entirely and now the universe was mocking me.
Harry stuttered nervously, “Um—I mean—We went out for dinner, but no I guess—“
My thoughts clouded with his words and I missed what Piers was saying until I heard the words, “—a budding romance?” and I felt another wave of nausea.
“Don’t know,” Harry said anxiously as he looked at his producers for help. The producers got the memo and frantically screamed “Move on! Move on!” and Harry nodded and said, “Yeah let’s move on shall we!” As he tried to make an awkward situation comical like he always did.
I stood up from my chair hastily and grasped the back of the chair as I tried not to throw up. “Shit,” I breathed.
“Annie, are you okay?” Carlton asked with concern threaded into her voice.
I took a deep breath. “Yeah—yeah I’m fine,” I said trying to catch my breath, “I just wasn’t expecting that and it’s effecting me much more than I thought it would.”
I stumbled out of the workroom and rested my hand over my racing heart as I tried to calm it down. I needed to get a grip on myself and come to terms with what I wanted in my life…
I hit my forehead with my palm immediately as those thoughts went through my mind…
I already know what I want…
Harry…
Notes
Hey everyone!! How is everyone doing todaaaay?! :) What's the weather like where you're from?! It's cold and wet here yay -_-
So an update on my life: My parents are rockstars and bought me a guitar for Christmas so I have just been going crazy trying to learn new songs!! :) I'm trying to take on Amnesia, but lordy it's much hard to sing and play than I originally anticipated! Does anyone have any advice for a new player?! <3
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11/6/16