Little Me

I sat on the bus in my bunk and cried. I realized my feelings and now I'm suffering. I ignored him and now I'm paying for it. I ruined it.

"Kassi?" Perrie called out to me. I ripped my bunk curtain open and ran to her, crying. We went to the couch as she rubbed my back.

"Im so sorry. I didn't know he had a girlfriend.I wouldn't have set you up for destruction. I'm sorry." She apologized. She rubbed my back as I cried in her lap.
"Its my fault. I should have known nothing good would come from me liking him. I have been so cruel. It's my fault." I sobbed.

"He was confused when you stormed out. But I don't think he suspects a thing." She said.

"Yeah but I know how I feel now and it's worse. I feel like I have lost him for forever." I cried.

"You didn't. Regardless on his new girl or not, he loves you. He does." She sounded confident about that.

"Im not convinced." She didn't say anything more.

I sat there as she soothed me.


"Wanna do something my mom and I used to do when I was upset about something?" She asked, I nodded. "Its quite weird but.. I think it could help. It always helped me!" She got cheerful as she reminisced about her past. "Pretend I'm Louis, tell me how you feel." I looked at her as if she grew two heads. This was weird.
"Either do this, or tell Louis himself." She said getting up to leave me. I instantly grabbed her arm and pulled her back. No way was she going to give me that ultimatum. She smiled knowing she won.

"Now, Kassi, tell me how you feel." She said using a 'deep' voice. I gave her a weird look.

She smiled and shrugged "Im pretending to be Louis!" I nodded.

I took a deep breath. "Im just sad. Because, I really like you. More than I've liked anyone in a long time. Tonight I got slapped in the face with the reality that I'll never be able to call you mine, and that isn't a very big deal to you." As I finished, I realized I felt a bit better. The load is off my shoulders.

"I told you!" Perrie squealed and hugged me. She is a really good friend. Ok so happy I met her.

Zayn wandered in eventually. Once he saw the state I was in, he ran to us. Just them being there helped. I managed to get up and change into sweats and a v-neck, I tossed my hair up in a bun and took my makeup off. I joined the others, now that the rest were here. How long was I getting ready? I don't know. I don't care. I saw Eleanor on his lap. Bile came racing up. He was next to Harry, empty space, Liam, Perrie and Zayn, and Niall. It was obvious where I had to sit.

I sighed and sat between the two. I leaned on Liam. He didn't mind. He put his head on mine.

"So, you over your bitch fit?" Harry asked, smirking. I rolled my eyes.

"Harry." Zayn warned. "What? Now you two are besties? She's been nothing but rude. And living off of us. Doesn't do a damn thing. But sure, lets all be friends. She doesn't like us. She's playing us." He seethed. I jumped up.

"Gee, Louis, and you wonder why I didn't try with him. Fuck you, Harry." I said storming off the bus. Someone was hot on my tracks. I didn't bother to look who. I just walked.

"Kassi!" It was Louis.
"Don't bother, go back to your friends and girlfriend." I said finding a bench and sitting. He followed suit.

"Stop. I'm sorry for Harry. He's just noticed you refuse to talk to him. Yet, talk to the others. As for Eleanor, leave her alone. She was before you."
I looked at him. Stunned.

"Before me? Really? I've been there for you, she's probably using you for publicity. I was there for you for everything and anything. So. Be an ass. Glad to know Tue true you. The one who doesn't give two shits about anyone but yourself. I fucking love you, and your an asshole. Go live your glorious pop star boy band life. I'll leave you." I said getting up and leaving again. He still followed me.

"Persistent little shit, aren't you?" I muttered.

"So, you love me." He said. Really? That's all he got.

"As a brother. But that doesn't mean a thing anyway." I lied.

"Kassi, please just get along with them. We could have fun."
"Yay. Me, my ex-best friends girlfriend, his best mates and all the pop star glory. Awesome. How about, I go home and we drop it?" I asked trying to leave him.
"You know we're just saying these things out of anger, right?" He said.
"No, I mean it Louis, I'm hurt. Really." I admitted.

"Im trying to mend our relationship." He said.

"Im tired of this up and down. I'm sick of it Louis. I want us back. That's it." I said, turning to him and looking into his sea-green eyes. He looked sincere.

"Okay. Lets try." "Fine." He just didn't know how hard this was going to be for me.

I was doing it mainly because nobody would let me go home and I didn't want to spend the whole tour fighting.

Notes

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