Spelling and Grammar: The first thing I noticed was your title. Past should be capitalized. This is how you have it: Living in the past. This is how you should have it: Living in the Past. It looks more professional. I'm guessing when you said his, you meant he's. His is a possession more like. When you are going for a flashback, please don't straight out say flashback started. Use something along the lines like, I remember the time when... or Then, all the memories started flooding through my head... It looks more professional and flows better. Other than that, everything was good. I like how you describe things and put a lot of detail in it.

Plot and Story Line: I really liked it. I felt like it was different from what I've been reading. You have talent to write and I think you should update your story. It is very interesting. Keep going and continue on with the story. I really get the title. It's like she's living more in the past then the present and it's not good to do that. That's more how people now are, so I feel readers will be able to relate to that. I know I was able to relate to it.

I would give this story a 9.5/10 for grammar.

Notes

If I was a bit offensive, please tell me and I'll take your review down. I'm just being honest and giving you tips on what to do and what not to do. I'm trying to help you improve and that's my main goal of doing reviews. I'm not trying to be mean in anyway.