Spelling and Grammar: It wasn't too bad. You just need more description and to stop using I. I know it's first person, but you can also have sentences start differently with different words. If you're using the same subject for different verbs, you don't have to repeat yourself.

Original: I walk out of class and I go in the back of the school like Louis ordered me too.

Edited: I walk out of class and go in the back of the school, like Louis ordered me to.

You are getting To and Too mixed up. Too means also if that was any help. To is like I'm going to hand it to her. It's more of a preposition. There weren't any spelling errors, so good job on that!

Plot and Story Line: I find your story to be really interesting. I really want to know what's going to happen next. You left off on a cliffhanger! Good for a story, makes me want some more. Update soon please! I really like how she's bullied and forced to stay from them. Why do they call her a whore? I really want to know. I guess you'll have to update to answer that question!

I would give this story a 8/10.

Notes

If I was a bit offensive, please tell me and I'll take your review down. I'm just being honest and giving you tips on what to do and what not to do. I'm trying to help you improve and that's my main goal of doing reviews. I'm not trying to be mean in anyway.