Grammar and Spelling: Be more descriptive. It'll help people visualize it.

Original: I feel pain on my head, I feel blood dripping down my head. Moments later I blackout.

Example: My head started hurting while blood was dripping down my head. It started getting black and my eyes gave out. I was out cold moments later.

It's not using I for everything and it's explaining how she felt. That's bringing out feelings from a person so your reader can understand the character more and relate to them. If she doesn't remember him, don't say Liam said, unless somebody else said the name. It'll actually make it seems like she doesn't remember him. Just put a random stranger said to me or some really creepy guy that I don't know. It'll make it more realistic as to what you want her to not remember him. There was a lot of places without punctuation. Just read over chapters because you also had some small spelling errors, but there was a lot.

Plot and Story Line: I really like your plot, but after the prologue I feel like it's rushed. She's remembering the guys too easily. It kind of gets rid of the point of the story, which is her trying to remember her brother. It kind of makes the story seem like it should just end right there because she already remembered her brother. Try to spread it out. If you need to, map out the story before you write it. If you need help with what that is, just message me.

I would give this story a 5\10.

Notes

If I was a bit offensive, please tell me and I'll take your review down. I'm just being honest and giving you tips on what to do and what not to do. I'm trying to help you improve and that's my main goal of doing reviews. I'm not trying to be mean in anyway.