Spelling and Grammar: Another thing is you keep switching tenses. What I mean by that is don't go from past or present or vise versa. You did that a lot. Let me show you so you are aware of it.

What Not to Do:
She is quiet, looking out the window a little notebook in one hand and her bag clenched to her chest. She is a pretty little thing, her blonde hair blowing in the open window. She put her ear buds away, since I had the radio on.
Every now and then she would open her notebook and look through it, then she would have a look on her face, determinant. It seems that the journal was reminding her what she is set out to do.
"My name is Harry," I offer, trying to start a conversation. After all I would like to know who my guest is.
"I'm Tyra," She smiled. It is the second smile she flashes me, and what a beautiful smile it is.
"So Tyra, may I ask where you're heading to?" I figure that now she's in the car, she might give me an answer.
"Born to run," Is her reply, and I am confused.
"Uh.. is that a place? Like a club or something you're trying to get to?" I inquired.
"No silly, 'Born to run?' Bruce Springsteen?" She raises her brows slightly while looking at me, a light smile playing on her lips.

What to Do:
She is quiet, looking out the window a little notebook in one hand and her bag clenched to her chest. She is a pretty little thing, her blonde hair blowing in the open window. She put her ear buds away, since I had the radio on.
Every now and then she opens her notebook and look through it, then she would have a look on her face, determinant. It seems that the journal was reminding her what she is set out to do.
"My name is Harry," I offer, trying to start a conversation. After all I would like to know who my guest is.
"I'm Tyra," She smiles. It is the second smile she flashes me, and what a beautiful smile it is.
"So Tyra, may I ask where you're heading to?" I figure that now she's in the car, she might give me an answer.
"Born to run," Is her reply, and I am confused.
"Uh.. is that a place? Like a club or something you're trying to get to?" I inquire.
"No silly, 'Born to run?' Bruce Springsteen?" She raises her brows slightly while looking at me, a light smile playing on her lips.

You see how staying in one tense is better than not. It makes the writing flow easier and the readers understand it more. It's nothing big, but I just had to make you aware of it. When you are trying to make an emphasis on something, do not capitalize the word. It does nothing. Please italicize or bold the word. Another thing is if you are talking about God, make sure you capitalize the G. You do that because it makes it clear on what you are talking about. There were no spelling errors as far as I saw.

Plot and Story Line: It's really good. It's so different from everybody else's. One thing I really like is how you don't reveal who the relationship is between the girl and the boy. I thought she was looking for a guy who she was with and wanted to be with him. I never would have suspected who she really was looking for. You really need to update soon! The Hitchhiker is really good!

I would give this story a 8/10 due to Grammar.

Notes

If I was a bit offensive, please tell me and I'll take your review down. I'm just being honest and giving you tips on what to do and what not to do. I'm trying to help you improve and that's my main goal of doing reviews. I'm not trying to be mean in anyway.