The Only Reason || Harry Styles ||

After 30 minutes of introducing himself and sharing his life’s goal and ambition, Mr. Styles gave us the remaining time for ourselves and told us to ‘chat with others and make friends’.

Eleanor and I had spent the time talking and answering each other’s question like ‘what’s your favorite color, food, why did I chose this school to exchanging contact numbers. She told me she had a boyfriend name Louis Tomlinson, which seemed strange because I once heard that name from one of Cliff’s phone calls. But I shrugged it off thinking it’s not important for that to ask right now. Right now I’m making her my friend.

I also learned that Eleanor was an only child and she and her boyfriend, Louis, lives in a flat together saying she didn’t heard anything about her parents for a long time so she lives with him now.

“You know when I first met Louis, I was alone in the park and it’s raining. Unfortunately I don’t have an umbrella so I sat there on the bench freezing to death when Louis approached me. He was soaked too-“ she laughed then continued. “- he sat beside me and said that a beautiful girl like me mustn’t be alone sitting on a bench in the park while raining-” she smiled. “I think when the first time I looked at his face, I can see how perfect he was.” she giggled. “I just smile at those memories when I think about it. I think he really is the one for me.” With that she smiled at me and chuckled loudly which causes me to frown in confusion.

“What?”

“Who do you think yours will be?” she smirked.

“Oh. That.” I sighed. “Um. I don’t – I – I think I don’t want to be in a relationship… for now.”

“Why not?”

“I just – I don’t want to talk about boys. That’s why I came here… The truth is… I don’t want men near me. I mean for 17 years I was surrounded by men. I think I want something… new?”

“You never met a woman before?” she asked, brows furrowed.

“It’s not that.” I sighed once again. “I think when… when…”

“When what?”

“Wh-when my dad hit me, I think I shut my world off from people. I had friends but not that close. I just stayed in my room, expressing what I felt by writing. But I started to make decisions and chose to study here. Luckily my dad agreed. And I think I just want to make friends. I want to re-open my world from people, from woman specially. I want to change my life, I guess.”

“So… you’re like terrified of males?” she asked raising her eyebrows.

“I think so. It started when my dad laid a hand on me and I think if I got closer to males, I think they would do the same. I’m scared of what they would do to me if got near them.”

“You’re scared, Max but you don’t hate them.” She shook her head.

“What? I’m scared because I hate them.” I explained.

“Well, maybe not all the boys because you don’t know them. How can you hate a person, specially a male when you even don’t know his name? You’re just scared, Max.”

“Maybe, you’re right but it doesn’t match with the situation I got with my dad. He hit me so I’m scared and I hate him at the same time.”

“Well, you can hate him as much as you want but he’s still your father. I know there’s still a part of your heart that still loves him. That still cares if he got hurt. He’s your father and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I sighed.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“I’m telling you that you’re lucky to still have a father unlike me.”

“But I don’t have my mum and I’m scared of him. Of males, right?”

“Yes but you should stop feeling like that. A girl scared of men and doesn’t want to have a relationship? That’s absurd! I’m telling you, you should stop. I’m willing to help you, Max.”

“You do?”

“Of course! You’re my friend, Max.” she smiled sweetly while rubbing my shoulders.

She’s my friend. She said that herself. I already got a friend and she’s willing to help me with the one problem I can’t even solve myself. And that’s what I want: a friend who will help me find the solution to my problem. And with that I hugged her lovingly and mumbled, “Thank you, El.”

“Anything for my friend.” She smiled rubbing my back soothingly.

More minutes had passed and I can only feel grateful right now for Eleanor being my friend.

“Hey I’m just gonna to the bathroom, okay?” El informed me.

I gave her a nod and with that she stood up and told Mr. Styles.

I was searching for my phone in my bag when Mr. Styles spoke, “Okay, I think the time is up. See you tomorrow.”

A bunch of ‘goodbyes’ was heard from the crowd in the room as they made their way to the exit. I was still waiting for Eleanor and putting my things back in my bag when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

From: Eleanor
Hey Max don’t wait for me. I gotta run. I promised Louis I’ll come home when class is over. Sorry! See ya. Xx

It’s so early, I thought to myself. But anyways,

To: Eleanor
It’s okay. See ya tomorrow El. Xx

I sighed and placed my phone back to my pocket. I looked around and saw I was the only person here. But, wait, there’s still Mr. Styles writing something on a paper. Maybe paper works or stuffs. Once I put all my things in my bag, I steadily stood up and headed to the door.

“Goodbye, Mr. Styles.” I smiled looking over my shoulder to see Mr. Styles bend his head to me and muster a small smile.

He nodded and I was about to grasp the door’s handle when Mr. Styles spoke.

“Goodbye, Max McNaire.”

I smiled once again and reached for the handle and walked out. My brows began to furrow when something came up in my mind… I didn’t introduce myself or even told my name to Mr. Styles.

Notes

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