Timing

Louis watched as Harry perched himself on the edge of the sofa, glancing at his phone every now and then. He thought he was being clever about it, looking nonchalant and making sure to keep an eye on the other boys in the room, but it was obvious Harry was transfixed with whatever he was doing on the phone.

They were having a well-deserved break between interviews and answering the same old questions over and over again. Louis watched as Niall instantly gravitated to the snack table, and Liam chatted to one of the PR people. Zayn had flopped on another couch and looked as though he could fall asleep then and there.

Louis’ eyes raked over Harry who was now swiftly texting, his eyes occasionally darting toward the other boys in the room. His lips curled into a sneaky smile as he read the reply, and Louis couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Who are you talking to?” Louis asked. His sudden appearance made Harry jump and his surprised look would have been funny if Louis hadn’t had a burning desire to see who had made Harry smile like that.

“I didn’t see you there.” Harry gave a small smile and popped his phone back in his pocket.

“Who are you talking to?” Louis repeated.

“Nobody.” Harry answered swiftly. “I was just mucking around.”

Louis casually sat next to him and then without warning stuffed his hand in Harry’s pocket and grabbed the phone.

“Hey!” Harry cried, and all eyes in the room snapped toward them.

“Gotcha!” Louis said lightly, trying not to draw too much attention to what was happening.

Everyone paused to look and then resumed their conversations. Louis scrolled and saw the same name pop up again and again.

“Grimmy.” He said flatly and let out a sigh. He tossed the phone back at Harry who nervously placed it back in his pocket.

“I was texting to see how he is…” He trailed off and they sat on the couch in silence.

“So, how is the twat?” Louis finally asked.

“Louis.” Harry said evenly.

“What?” Louis asked innocently. “I was just asking…”

“How’s Eleanor?” Harry asked.

“Hmm... touché.” Louis murmured back.

Another silence, but before they could continue, they were signalled to get up and attend the next interview.

They were posing for photos after the interview, and Louis sidled up to Harry, ignoring the pointed looks from Management. They had been told to keep their distance from each other in public, but Louis sometimes could not help but ignore the rules. They all had their arms around each other as they smiled at the photographer, and Louis let his arm snake around Harry’s waist.
It was a nice feeling to be able to touch him in public, instead of constantly having to hold back. He glanced at Harry whose smile was frozen in place. Harry could be the worst actor but he could sometimes pull the best poker face of the lot of them.

“He’s too old for you. Why can’t he find friends his own age?” Louis muttered. Harry ignored him by staring ahead, the fake smile still plastered over his face. Louis noticed Zayn cast a curious look toward him, but they were interrupted by someone from management.

“All eyes to the front please. Just a few more photos.”

Louis stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes, making Harry laugh. It brought back memories of how carefree they had once felt, when X Factor had just ended and they had been signed and ready to make an album. In hindsight it seemed that it had all happened in a blink of an eye.

He remembered how Louis always made him laugh, even when he was drowning under the pressure of performing well week after week, always trying to prove that he was worthy of being on X Factor. That was all it had been in the beginning… lots of laughter.

But once success well and truly hit with their first album, Harry found himself drawn to Louis, more so than any of the other boys in the group. Louis was always there to comfort him when he was sure that he had singlehandedly ruined a performance or when he was so homesick he’d cry into the phone when speaking to his Mum. They shared hotel rooms across the country, and there were nights when Harry would wordlessly climb into bed with Louis.

Nothing ever happened, and they never spoke of it. It was just nice to feel another body in the bed next to you, rather than face the night on your own, worrying about what the next day was going to bring.

“Time to go Harry.” Niall interrupted his thoughts. Harry realised that the camera had stopped clicking, but he had been standing there with a smile on his face.

“I think we should have just left him here.” Louis quipped, and Harry playfully punched him as they moved on to their next engagement.

X

They were all in the hire car being driven back to their respective homes when Harry decided he couldn’t face another night alone in his apartment.

“We should go out!” Harry announced.

“What?” Niall guffawed. ”On a school night?”

Zayn laughed at that, but his laughter soon ended in a coughing fit.

“Niall’s right… they wouldn’t let us.”

“Haven’t we got that radio interview tomorrow?” Liam chimed in.

“I think they owe us.” Harry crossed his arms. “We’ve been running around like mad for weeks now. The least they can do is let us out.”

“You make us sound like pound puppies.” Zayn said, reaching for his cigarettes.

“Yeah well.” Harry leaned back in his seat. “It’s only an idea…”

Although Liam was the unofficial spokesman of the group, they knew that Harry’s requests were not often rejected, so they sent him forward to request a night out. And they realised it was the right move, because it didn’t take long for Modest to book a VIP section in one of their favourite hangouts. Harry hated being cordoned off but he knew it was necessary if he wanted to have a good time in peace. Sometimes he wished he could just mingle with the masses. He was an avid people watcher and loved figuring out what made people tick. The problem was that it was hard to people watch when people were watching you all the time. Harry sat down next to Louis and Eleanor, who had the sudden urge to sit as close as she could to her ‘boyfriend’.

Eleanor had been brought in by Modest when speculation about Louis’ sexuality had been rife. She had been placed on the payroll, and enjoyed the perks of being a girlfriend, from trips around the world to a public profile that included a fanbase of her very own.
Modest had breathed a sigh of relief when it turned out that Louis and Eleanor actually got along. There were times when Louis wanted a breather, and would object when Modest insisted they make ‘public’ appearances in order to be papped. But he genuinely enjoyed her company and enjoyed having someone he could publically be with, even though she wasn’t his first choice.

Harry secretly wondered if she had feelings for Louis. He avoided hanging out with them, but when he was forced to, he would notice little things. Even when they weren’t in public, her embraces were close and lasted longer than necessary. She would hang onto every word he said, and laugh at his dumb jokes. Pretty much everything Harry did.

But Harry wished he had the freedom to do everything Eleanor did. It was hard to hate her though. She was bubbly, pretty and smart. But he didn’t have to like her; which was why he limited the amount of time he spent with Louis when she happened to be around.
He watched as Eleanor ruffled Louis’ hair.

“You’re so cute Louis.” She said, and Louis winked at her. Harry then noticed Louis’ expression darken and he followed his line of vision to see Nick enter.

“I can’t believe you asked him to come along.” Louis muttered.

“Didn’t you tell me you want to cool it?” Harry asked. Louis didn’t respond or even look at him.

“Okay, fine Harry.”

Harry stood up to greet Nick with an embrace.

“Little Louis looks sad.” Nick murmured in his ear, and Harry shrugged not daring to look in Louis’ direction. Nick patted Harry on the back and moved on to greet the others. Harry stood on his own for a moment before sidling up to Liam at the bar.

“Want a drink?” Liam asked.

“Make it a double.” Harry said. They stood at the bar drinking and chatting before moving over to the couch where they settled.

“Let’s dance.” Eleanor said with a glint in her eye. She gave Harry a pointed look before grabbing Louis’ arm. He allowed himself to be pulled up off the couch and onto the makeshift dance floor. She clutched his arms as they began to move to the music. Harry took a swig of his drink and tried to lighten the mood by teasing Niall about something stupid. This escalated in a playful shoving match. Louis watched from the corner of his eye, but his face remained unmoved as he swayed in time to the music. Inside was a different story. He could see Nick watching Harry with a fond smile, and then approach him.

“Wanna dance?” Nick raised his arm and Harry jokingly held onto it to stand up.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He said with a curtsy. They stumbled onto the dance floor and started to mimic Eleanor and Louis, and the way she had lovingly flung her arms around Louis.

“Does she know she’s a beard?” Nick whispered in Harry’s ear, and they both laughed. Soon Niall joined them, and they were all mucking around on the dance floor, not caring who was watching. The resentment was building up inside Louis and he was resisting the urge to just leave. He had never liked Nick. It had been obvious from the beginning that Nick was attracted to Harry, and he had never bothered to hide it either. He had come out a while ago, and instead of finding someone to be with, he contented himself with chasing Harry, inviting him to exclusive parties and revelling in the public role of being Harry’s ‘best friend’.

Once, Louis had point blank asked Harry.

“So is he getting what he wants?”

Harry had just smiled and shook his head. But Louis knew their relationship was a ticking time bomb that would eventually explode in his face. Harry couldn’t hide the fact that he was flattered that Nick liked him, and he was silly enough to let himself go along with anything if it meant that he felt that he belonged.

At that very moment Nick was gyrating close to Harry who seemed oblivious to how close he was getting. Louis shook his head and didn’t hide his annoyance at the sight of Harry being used like that. Harry was in the middle of a goofy dance move when Louis appeared at his side.

“Come with me.” He muttered roughly grabbing Harry by the arm. He pulled him into the bathroom where they wordlessly stood looking at each other. Before anyone could speak, Louis pushed him against the wall.

“Wha-“ Harry’s protest was muffled by Louis’ kiss. He pulled away defiantly. “I thought you said you just wanted to be friends.”

Louis stared at him, his blue eyes intense. They softened and he paused for a moment before speaking.

“Do friends do this?” Louis asked, kissing Harry’s lips.

“No.” Harry replied softly.

“Do friends do this?” His lips trailed down his neck.

“Noo.” Harry could not help but moan as his eyes closed. Louis’ touch felt like a hot iron on his skin, his kisses branded his lips until they felt swollen and bruised. Harry melted into his arms, enjoying the sensation that was so very different from the drunken kisses he had shared with Nick. He wanted this to go on forever, but Louis suddenly stopped and pulled back slightly. He grabbed a handful of Harry’s curls and gently pulled them.

“You know you’re mine.” Louis said with a smile.

“Really?”

“Really.”

The sound of the door opening caused them to disentangle from each other and take a step back. They both looked up to see Nick. He had the usual smirk on his face, which promptly disappeared when he saw Louis.

“Did I interrupt anything?” He asked lightly.

“See you outside.” Louis quickly murmured before turning to leave. Harry could only nod and watch as he walked away.

“You okay?” Nick asked.

“Yeah why?” Harry frowned.

“Dunno, you just look a bit worked up.” The smirk was back.

“Fuck off Nick.” Harry said walking away. He wasn’t in the mood for Nick’s games. There were times when he went along with it, even allowed himself to become a butt of the jokes. But then there were times like these when he wondered whether Nick was a real friend.

The party ended soon after. He listened as Liam spoke to him, but he couldn’t help but cast dark looks toward Eleanor and Louis. In the end he took matters into his own hands and asked that he be dropped off at Louis’ apartment. Louis couldn’t hide the smug smile on his face as they exited the car and made their way upstairs.

X

After that night, Harry could feel a sense of calmness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It looked like Louis wanted to make this work. As far as Harry was concerned, he didn’t care if the people around them knew. His friends were fine with it. His family didn’t yet know, but then he was rarely seeing them because of work, so that would have to wait. Management?

Fuck Modest, he thought. They could spin whatever story they wanted about him. He didn’t care if people thought he was dating girls left, right and centre. As long as he knew he could turn to Louis at the end of the day.

Harry wasn’t a rebel. He rarely fought back when it came to the demands of his management. But the truth was the demands were never ending.

From little things like, ‘Harry, you can’t sit next to Louis’ to big things like ‘Harry, you and Taylor are going to Central Park today’. He could only take so much; he was willing to go along with some of the more harebrained schemes of keeping his name in the papers, but there were certain things he wanted to keep private in his life. And if he wanted to kiss Louis in his spare time, away from work then so be it.

It felt like old times. They were back to joking around with each other, with the ease of the early days. The boys noticed a shift in their relationship, but did not push to find out more. It had originally been hard for them to get their head around Louis and Harry being together. And they didn’t want to pry now. Just let them figure it out, was the general consensus whenever they privately discussed it, and we’ll deal with it then.

The radio interviews had kicked off, and without thinking they sat on opposite sides of the group, as they had been trained to do.

“So hands up who has girlfriends in the group?” The radio host asked.

Two hands shot up.

“Liam and Louis, huh?”

“Yes sir.” Liam answered.

“Tell us about them.”

“Well Sophie is an old friend of mine. I’ve known her since school…”

All eyes turned to Louis, who looked back expectantly.

“My turn is it?” He asked, and the group laughed. He was notorious for switching off during some interviews and missing his cues. Harry smiled and precariously balanced on the back legs of his chair to get a better view of Louis.

“Her name’s Eleanor, she’s been my girlfriend… for about two years now?” It sounded like a question he wasn’t sure of the answer, and the boys chuckled. “She’s nice, she’s…” He looked over at Harry who was watching him intently, a small smile playing on his lips. It was hard to look away and to make things worse he could not remember what to say next.

“Are you feeling alright there?” He decided comedy was the answer. ”You look like you’re about to fall off your chair.”

The boys chuckled and as if on cue Harry lost his balance and almost fell backwards. Zayn stuck his hand out in time and steadied the chair so Harry could regain his balance. Harry looked at Louis with a sheepish smile.

“How am I supposed to concentrate with you falling about all over the place?” Louis asked unable to disguise the fondness in his eyes. Liam looked over to the side to see their PR person peering nervously at them, and Niall glanced from Louis to Harry and then back again.

“Go on Louis…” Liam said light-heartedly.

“Yeah, we’d love to know more.” Harry chimed in.

Louis suddenly turned to the host.

“Is this being filmed?”

“Yes- why do you ask?” He replied bewildered.

“Just checking.” He muttered. “Uh, as I was saying… oh how about we just go to the next question.”

“Nick Grimshaw has been insinuating a few things on his radio show.” The radio host referred to the notes in front of him. “About the… closeness you boys share. In particular Louis and Harry.”

Harry refrained from rolling his eyes. What had Nick done now? The last time they had been alone, he had been in a weird mood, making catty remarks about Louis and trying to get him to agree and open up.

“He’s an ass.” Nick said. “The last time I saw him, he acted like I wasn’t even there.”

“Yeah well.” Harry watched as Nick leant over and snorted the cocaine he had carefully prepared before him.

“Aren’t you having some?” He asked. Harry shrugged and then kneeled down. He sniffed a line, and instantly regretted it. He didn’t like coke much, but it was awkward just sitting there watching. He had been lost in his thoughts when Nick had suddenly leant forward and kissed him on the lips. Harry looked back at him blankly. Nick rolled his eyes and leant back in his seat.

“I give up. You two deserve each other.”

Harry stared at the radio host, not knowing how to respond, so he just ignored the question until Liam spoke up.

“We’re all close… we have to be. We’re living in each other’s pockets.”

The radio host looked pointedly at Harry who had slumped in his seat unwilling to answer.

“Louis?” The radio host asked.

“Ratings must be low.” He said with a fake smile.

The interview had ended and they had just shaken hands with the host, when Harry sat in the empty chair next to Louis. He placed his hand on Louis’ arm, but Louis pushed him away, his eyes surveying the room.

“Not here.” Louis murmured, trying not to be swayed by the look of hurt that flashed across Harry’s face. When Harry tested him again later in the day by reaching over to fix Louis’ fringe, he was met by angry eyes.

“Quit it.” Louis hissed.

“Why?” Harry shot back.

Louis gave him a pointed look and tilted his head toward the fans who had pressed their faces against the glass windows of the studio building they had just entered. Harry shrugged and hung back from the group.

“You okay?” Liam suddenly asked a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, why?” Harry asked glumly.

“Just asking…” Liam shot a look at Louis but said no more. He didn’t want to get involved. Modest had made him get involved in little ways the last time. ‘Ask Harry what’s wrong Liam.’
‘Tell them to focus Liam’ ‘Liam, be ready to change the subject if Larry comes up.’ He was sick of being the one they turned to when they wanted order in the group.

Harry felt confused as they sat down for dinner that night. He ordered wine, which he rarely did, and sat there swirling the liquid around the glass. He remembered back to the time when they had gotten proper drunk one night at a function they had been forced to attend. He and Louis had always been tactile with each other, but in his alcoholic haze he found he couldn’t keep his hands off him. They stumbled outside under the pretence of sharing a cigarette, and found themselves shivering in the cold.

“Shit, it’s freezing.” Harry said, leaning in to Louis and burying his head in his chest. He then suddenly looked up at Louis, his face only inches away.

Louis smiled and pushed the hair out of Harry’s eyes.

“Why does your hair always do that?” He asked and Harry just smiled with a shrug. Louis’ hand lowered to Harry’s cheek and Harry instinctively leaned forward.The kiss was soft and tentative at first but quickly grew deeper. Harry placed his hand in the small of Louis’ back pulling him closer, as his tongue began to explore his mouth. Louis moaned softly and allowed his body to relax against him. They parted for a moment and looked at each other.
Harry’s heart skipped a beat when Louis’ face broke into a smile.

That night they slept in separate beds and the next morning they could hardly look each other in the eye. But the line had been crossed, and although alcohol had triggered the situation, they found that it wasn’t necessary. They would steal away whenever they could, exchanging wild kisses, enjoying the exhilarating feeling of having a secret that nobody knew about. Little did they know how wrong they were…

X
That night Louis seemed quieter than usual.

“Cup of tea?” Harry asked and Louis nodded. As Harry poured the hot water he looked over at Louis on the couch. He was lost in thought as Harry set the tea cup in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down at his feet. Louis shrugged and looked away as though he were lost in thought. He then turned to look at Harry.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Louis said softly.

“But you said-“

“I know what I said.” Louis interjected. “But I just can’t.”

Harry remembered back to the last time he had seen this expression on Louis’ face. The pressure had gotten to Louis and he was close to quitting the band. Management closed ranks and they had sat across from each other in the boardroom.

His blue eyes had been icy, but at the same time he looked as though he would burst into tears.

“Enough is enough.” They had been told. “You both need to focus on the job at hand. This isn’t all about you. You have three other people in the band not to mention all the people who work hard behind the scenes. It’s not fair to any of them if this whole thing collapses because of your actions.”

“Louis?” Harry said, wanting to hear it from him.

“They’re right Harry. It’s got to stop.”

It had been gradual, but the time came when they no longer made an effort to be together. Management had breathed a collective sigh of relief and were almost eagle-eyed in their approach thereafter.

Harry could feel his throat close up as he presently looked at Louis.

“Why?”

And it all came pouring out. How his family didn’t know and he needed more time to work up to it, how their career was important right now.

“Who knows where we’ll be in ten years? It’s not going to last forever Harry. We need to make our money now, and get whatever we can out of it. Do you know how good it feels to be able to tell my Mum that she doesn’t have to work again- ever?”

“I know.” Harry said quietly.

“I just don’t want to ruin everything we’ve worked so hard for.” Louis said.

“Yeah, but what about us?” Harry asked the question that had been burning a hole in him.

“Our time will come. It might not be now. But when this is all over? We’ll have all the time in the world.”

“I can’t wait.” Harry said simply. And he couldn’t. He was nineteen years old and wanted to start living his life now, not in ten or twenty years.

“I can.” Louis whispered. “I can wait.”

Harry opened his mouth to protest but the look in Louis’ eyes stopped him. They were as blue as ever, but they had a hard, determined edge. Harry recognised that look. There was no use dragging this on.

Harry reached over and put his arms around him, burying his head in Louis’ chest. Louis did not return the embrace. His arms remained by his sides as Harry hugged him close.
Louis knew it was a cold way of ending things and it killed him to do it. But he knew that it was for the best. It was for the best. He had to believe that.

A few minutes passed before Harry realised he was the only one hanging on. Slowly he got to his feet, and walked away.

Notes

Hope you enjoyed this.

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