You & I

Alot of things where going through Louis's mind as he inhaled the nicotine that burned his throat. Harry was still missing. Yet it felt like no one even cared that he was gone or just gave up on the boy.

Louis exhaled the smoke into the gloomy sky as he sat up on his rooftop of his home. The sun used to shine during the day, but since Harry's disappearance, the sky never been the same. The town itself has changed, including the people in the town changed.

No more colorful clothing. Louis was back to being the badass at school, but a darker side of Louis. Louis went back to hanging out with Matthew, Skyelar and even James. Becka no longer hung out with Louis because Louis thoughts that if they stopped being friends, then the pain of missing Harry would go away. But Louis was lying to himself. No matter what he did, his thoughts came back to Harry.

Skyelar and James were thrilled to have Louis back and that their plan actually worked. They finally got rid of Harry but the only problem was that they couldn't get Louis's head out of the clouds.
This was the fear that Louis tried to hide. Louis's demons controlled his mind. After he lost his sister, Lottie , Louis began to do the unthinkable. He smoked, cut, drugs, and even tried to have set but that never passed the taking off the pants. He told himself that he would wait, and to this today, the badass Louis is still a virgin.

Two months after losing Lottie, Louis realized that isn't of helping with the pain, he's killing himself instead. Everything stopped and promised to never go back to that stage again. He lied.

The smoking, cutting, and the drinking came back to ease the pain. People say that smoking helps relief stress, to Louis, the way the smoke filled his lungs and leaves a burning feeling let's him know that's he's still alive.

Cutting. When a person is hurt to the point that they can't take it no more, or wants some kind of feeling, this is how they deal with their pain. There were some fainted scars down Louis's arm from his elbow to his wrist but now, his arms are covered in fresh red lines. To him, his body is numb. He feels no pain, no emotion, nothing. The only way to feel again, was to cut, to show his pain everyone he made a red streak.

Drinking is another one. Drinking can make people to some crazyy shit that later on they will regret. Since Louis has no emotion, the burning taste of the alcohol has no effect on him. He doesn't feel no sadness, anger, pain, or a spark of hope.

Louis blew out the smoke out as he took a drink from his alcohol into his empty stomach. He hasn't eaten properly the past few weeks. He knows that he's hungry, but he refused to eat. As he took another inhale from the cigarette, Louis heard a loud bang a couple blocks away from his home. He shot up from where he was sitting and looked around for any clue of where it came from. But of course, there was nothing at this time of day because kids where at school and adults where at work for Christ sake. It's bloody twelve o'clock in the afternoon.

Louis inhaled the last of the nicotine as he threw the bud to the black pavement below then drank the last of the alcohol. Louis walked back into his room grabbing his phone off the counter next to his bed, a baggy black sweater, Harry's sweater to be exact, and slipped on a silver necklace chain under his shirt as he headed out the door.

His hands where shoved inside the sweater, head hung low looking down at the ground kicking the little pebbles in front of his feet. As Louis tried to kick the pebble, someone knocked him off his feet knocking every single breathe he had in his body.

"Watch where your going fucker!" Louis grunted as he laid on the pavement.

Louis looked at the guy, he looked terrified. Sweat rolling down his face, his big hazel eyes showed fear. "I'm sorry," The man replied as he stumbled upon his feet and kept running.

"Bastard," Louis muttered under his breath. "What the fuck was his problem?" Louis dusted off his jeans as he continued down the street.

After a while, Louis was about to give up until he saw someone slowly walking toward him. "Hey!" Louis shouted but got no reply. Louis picked up his pace walking to the man then stopped.

The man was a young boy. Long, brown, curly hair that covered his face, lengthy toned body with a couple tattoos on his chest. The boy was only wearing a pair of sweat that hung low on his hips, but he was holding his left side. Louis looked closer then gasped. Blood dripped from the body to the pavement, could he be the one I heard the shot from?

The boy looked up at Louis.

"Harry?" Louis asked as the boy, Harry, fell to the ground. "Shit, shit, shit oh fucking shit!"

Louis ran over to Harry. He still couldn't believe his eyes. Harry was still alive, for right now, in his arms. Harrys breathing was put of control, beads of sweat formed around his face. Louis pulled out his phone and dialled 911.

"Hello, yes there boy here on the street and it looks like he has been shot on his left side.How the fuck am I supposed to know if it got to his ki-fuck! He has lost some blood, not a lot though, would you stop asking me these damn questions and bring a fucking ambulance over here before this my friend dies! Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm just scared right now just please hurry. He's the only person I have left." Louis hung up the phone as he waited for the ambulance to get there where he was at.

Louis pulled Harry upon his lap, not caring if the blood got on his clothing.

"I missed you so fucking much Harry. People told to give up on looking for you, but I didn't and now look. I found you, even those this is shitiest way to do it, but I did it. I'm so sorry for not being able to save you from those guys. It was my fault of letting them in the house. Because of me, they took you away from me."

"I was in so much fucking pain, I became something that I wish I never had. I smoked, cut, and drank just to hide away the pain but none of those things made me feel any better, they made me feel like shit times ten. I promised myself that I wouldn't do it, I had to be strong for you, but I caved in. I even lost Becka as a friend thinking it was the best idea for me. I realized that I'm a fucking idiot and a asshole."

The loud sirens got closer, "Please don't go. I need you. I-I love you Harry." Lous placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips, letting the tears he held in for so long roll down his face.

The paramedics pulled Harry off of Louis lap unto a stretcher as they loaded him in the bus. Louis tried to get in the bus but the paramedic people stopped him and asked if he was related by any sort so the only he could think of was to lie.

"You have to let me on that bus! That's my boyfriend please you have to let me in. He has no family but me. I'm the only person he has left, please!"

After the begging, the paramedics let Louis on the bus as they drove to the hospital. Louis, technically, didn't lie to the paramedics. They were together yes but they never gave that title a thought.

As they arrived at the hospital, the doctors rushed Harry to surgery. The main doctor told Louis to stay out by the waiting room. Louis waited and waited but nothing happened. Two hours later a women nurse walked over to Louis with a cup of coffee in her hand giving it to Louis.

"You can go see him, " The nurse told Louis in soft voice.

Louis got up from the uncomfortable chair and walked with the nurse to Harry's room.

As they walked in, Louis saw the boy lying on the bed still. The only Louis heard was the soft breaths Harry gave and the heart monitor telling Louis that he was alive and well. Louis ran over to Harry's bed side as he held Harry's hand telling him that everything would be okay then placed a kiss on top of his knuckles.

"How long have you two been together, if you don't mind me asking?" A young women asked as she checked Harry's bandages on his side.

"A couple weeks," Louis replied.

"He's lucky that you were there just in time," The women replied. Louis looked up at the women as she gave him a warm smile.

"What do you mean?"

"If you came a little bit later than you did, he would have been dead due to the loss of blood."

Louis looked at the women then back at Harry.

"You should be happy, but why not?"The nurse asked.

"Multiple reasons and it seems as if it's my fault that he's here," Louis buried his head in his hands. "A couple of men barged into my home looking for Harry, who hid in my closet, and while they were looking I fought one of the guys until everything went black. I woke up the next day to our friend asking me where was Harry, then I remembered the fight. The men took Harry away from me. I fucking promised Harry that I wouldn't let anything happen to him, but I did. He grew up with a shitty life and I wanted the best for him, but I fuck up big time. I don't think he could forgive me and I deserve that. I didn't fucking protect my own sister from our father so what made me think that I wouldn't fuck up again!"

"Because you love him," The nurse replied as she pulled Louis into her chest.

"If I love him, then why do I fucking mess up? He'll leave me like everyone else has after so many mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes Louis. We all have to pick ourselves up and try again until we get it right. It seems to me that you put everyone's problems on you shoulder, trying to help them out while you have your own. After while, those problems get bigger and bigger and sooner or later, you will fall," The nurse replied. "Harry has stuck with you this far, right? He will help you with those problems while you help him with his own. He will never leave you, Louis. Never. Understood?"

Louis pulled away from the nurse, wiping away the teats on his flushed cheeks.

Although he didn't know the nurse, she listened to him and didn't give him any shit. She let him talk, letting everything that was locked away inside out.

Louis surprised the nurse as he pulled her in a hug, "Thank you for listening."

"Your welcome."

Louis let go of the nurse as she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind.

Louis looked back at Harry. He ran his small fingers through the brown curls, against Harry's cheeks across his fine jawline. Louis looked around the room before he climb into bed with Harry, wrapping his arms around the younger boys waist as a soft snore filled the room.

"I love you Louis."

Notes