The days quickly turned to weeks. I actually found myself missing Niall and thinking about him a lot, which seemed odd to me considering we had only spent a week together.

Then again, he was my zing.

Every time I tried to figure out how to put everything behind me, I just kept thinking about Niall. I had to come to terms with my performance and figure out how to clear my mind so the Battle Round performance wouldn't happen again, so I had to concentrate and focus on the task at hand—which was kinda like what I was working on to begin with.

When I had theories, I tested them out with Max as my audience. Some almost worked, but finally, after so many tries, I figured it out.

I had to think positively, like Niall taught me to do, and I had to have confidence in myself. Once I got past that slump, I was also able to write songs again. I already had a little music notebook full of them, some that were rather stupid, but some . . . I loved them.

I actually wrote four new ones: Human, Distance, Burning Gold, and Sirens. With everything that had gone on, I had so much clouding my mind, and writing songs was the only way to think normally, to keep myself in a place I needed to be in order to succeed on the show.

After that, life carried on as usual for me, for a little while. No one at school knew where I was the week I was in LA, except Max and the principal of course. When the season premiere showed and people saw me audition, suddenly everyone wanted to be my best friend. They wanted results of the Battle Round, but I told them nothing.

It was interesting to see people I knew audition. When Ella auditioned, I was blown away. It was no surprise that she quickly got all four chairs. After watching her, I felt the need to email her.

Of course, I saw my performance as I did this. What I saw was . . . good. My voice was actually really good, and like they all said, I was capable of performing. The girl on stage, though, didn’t look like me. She looked like . . . .

Everit Eberly.

As soon as I finished emailing Ella, I dashed upstairs to my room and began rummaging through my closet.

That was my problem! If I thought too much, Audry McMevin came out, and she was scared. She was scared of the world and of people. Audry and Everit couldn’t exist in the same person, and in order to win this and truly move on with my life, I had to let Audry go. Maybe parts of Audry would always be there—the shyness, the clumsiness, the heart—but Everit would move on from that and become her own person.

By the time I was finished rummaging, I had removed most of the clothes Audry would wear—pretty much everything in there. I had tried to be Everit in my performances, but otherwise, I was still Audry.

Tomorrow, I would go shopping. Everit needed some new clothes and an entirely different look.

---

With two days left to go, I went a little crazy in a sense. Dad had money, and though I hated spending it, it was something I had to do. I didn’t go crazy, get an entirely new wardrobe like I needed, but I bought a good bit of stuff—more than I would’ve liked to use his money for.

Along with some new clothes, I got the tips of my hair bleached—just an inch or so of the tips—after cutting a good bit of it off and adding a few neon blue streaks. It was long before, but now, it only came a few inches past my shoulders.

Besides that, I had both of my ears pierced. A lot. I had always wondered what it would be like to have little diamond studs going around the curve of my ear, so that’s what I did. I already had my ears pierced, but I got each pierced nine more times around the curve. It looked awesome, but the lady was surprised, especially when I went right next door to get tattoos.

On my left ring finger, I got the word love put along the side in a beautiful and also really awesome cursive. It wasn’t big, but it was black and noticeable if you looked. On my right hand, in the skin in-between my thumb and pointer finger, I got a little heart that was designed to look like a stereo, and to help emphasize this, there were little music notes coming out of the speakers. It was an idea I got after hearing Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes with Adam, but Audry always held me back. She was too scared to express herself, but I wasn’t scared anymore. Everit loved it, even though it was a painful process.

Anyways, I also got the word “aláinn,” which means beautiful in Irish, put behind my left ear. On the inside of my right wrist, in a very cute cursive, I got the word “láidir,” which means strong in Irish. Both of these were words my mum said to me, and even as a little girl, I remember them. “Stay strong, my beautiful princess. Everything will be okay one day.”

Audry actually means “princess.” That’s why she named me that.

Also, on the inside of my left wrist, I had the words “l’amore bella” put on there. That means “beautiful love” in Italian, which was a language I spoke. I had learned and could fluently speak many languages. I was altered to be capable of taking in loads of information much faster than most people, and I found languages fascinating.

The final thing I got tattooed on me was actually on the right side of my ribs. It hurt, really badly, but it was important. It was what one of the scientists who actually had a heart and actually tried to make things better for me told me. They ended up killing her, but before she died, she told me, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” That was when I turned things around and fought for myself. Shortly after that, Dad found me and busted me out, but the point is, she helped me. Honestly, I might’ve died without that because I was slowly slipping away. Instead, I fought it and survived.

People stared at me funny, but I wasn’t done yet. I still had much to do before I left in two days.

I barely made it to my car by sunset, but I made it, and I was able to get home quickly. When I got home, I let Dad see all the new changes—minus the one on my ribs, but I told him about it. He helped me move my clothes upstairs and told me he was glad Everit was coming out. He loved Audry, of course, but he had grown fond of Everit.

She was becoming who I was, and I loved that.

After packing my clothes for the rest of my time on the show, I began packing up accessories. There was an entire suitcase dedicated to shoes, as well as a garment bag full of all kinds of dresses. I even had an empty bag for things I might buy there. There was a small, portable jewelry box, where I pulled out something I hadn’t even looked at in so many years.

It was my mum’s old locket. She got it from her dad, who got it from his dad, who got it from his dad. My great-great-grandfather was actually a pirate. It was beyond awesome.

This locket, which was dark silver with skull and crossbones on the front, was what he always wore on him. It had a picture of my great-grandfather and great-great-grandmother in it. It was just passed down from there, and now, it was mine. Inside, there was a picture of my mum and my dad on one side, and on the other, it was left blank. It was blank so I could put whatever picture I wanted in there.

This was the only picture I had left of my mum. Every other picture, we had to burn. All of those memories were destroyed, including the ones of my parents when they were little, their wedding, etc. It was heartbreaking, but what sucked most was that I had to do it. Dad couldn’t bear to do it, so I had to. I didn’t know my mum very well, since I was little, but it still hurt to just burn away those memories.

This one, though, was never going away. I made sure to pack that, as well as my special purity ring. Other than that, I just had jewelry that went with my ideas for my performance attire—if Niall kept me on the same track, anyways.

Once I was finished packing, I went to work on my special concoction I made just for my hair. What it was, I had made glow-in-the-dark permanent hair dye. I’ve seen it done in temporary stuff, or stuff that just looks terrible, but when I put it on, it looked normal. The tips were still white, but when I turned the lights off, they were glowing blue, just like the random blue streaks. I actually began dancing around my room, which woke up Harley. He was barking at first until he realized it was just me, so he just plopped his head back down and went to sleep.

I laughed a little as I sat down on the bed beside him and turned my iPod dock on. The lights were still off, so it was okay to go to sleep. It had been a long day.

Creating the person you’ve always wanted to be is a lot of work—painful, too. Still, it was worth it, and as I curled up next to my baby, I realized that even though Audry was as good as gone, parts of her would always be inside of me.

Her spirit, heart, and determination . . . nothing anyone could ever do could ever change that.

Notes

The lyrics are taken from the song It's Who You Are by AJ Michalka.

Alright. I may put more chapters up tonight. We'll see. :)

She'll be back in LA next chapter. :D What does Niall have to say for himself?

Thank you, once again, for all the support and positive feedback. Means a lot to me. :) Whether you comment, rate, and subscribe or not, I hope you keep reading this and enjoying because to me, that's what I want out of my stories. Something people enjoy reading. :)

So, please. Continue enjoying. :)