{{Louis}}

Going to Niall's party was exactly what I was planning to spend my Saturday doing. I was fully aware that Harry wanted me to not be there but it's a party and I promised Niall I would go. Aware that Harry would want to hang out that night I made a plan. I called him to tell him I wouldn't be able to be with him because I have to take care of my sisters. He seemed to fall for it and he won't be suspicious and I can have a good time without worrying.

Niall's parties are always crazy and intense. Which is the reason why I enjoy going to parties. I used to just go to hook up with someone and fuck but now that I have Harry, things aren't like that anymore. Niall and I always would find girls to flirt with and see if they wanted to have a little fun. It was always girls because I didn't want him to know that I was gay. To be more specifc bisexual but still. If I ever wanted to hook up with a guy it would be secretive. You could say I was a whore but things changed since. Meeting Harry was the best thing. Sure, he's a dork and completely awkward but I love that. He can deal with my bullshit and not to mention the amazing kissing sessions we have. Harry does this thing where he can go from adorable idiot to a fucking sex god in a matter of seconds and I love it so much.
I don't mind girls trying to get all on me. They don't mean anything to me anyways. I'm just here to get drunk and have some fun without hooking up.
Soon enough, I know I'm drunk but not as much as Niall is.
"Hey Lou, lets make a bet. First one to hook up with a girl gets $20 and doesn't have to clean after. After every party we make sure to clean up well for his mum. This time with Niall being really drunk, it won't be so easy to sober him up. I looked around the room observing anyone and everyone.Everyone was dancing along to the music, getting drunk, hooking up or doing something else. My head was starting to hurt and I was even considering going home. My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it.
"I'm going to pass mate. I'm feeling a little light headed."
I felt even more vibrations and decided to check out my messages.
"C'mon Lou! Don't be a wimp."
Well, a little party never hurt anyone.
I looked around and talked with girls making sure to flirt with them. They flirted back and they got close on me. A little too close.
"Louis, I wanna be yours."
"No Louis, I can treat you better. I can give you anything."
They all seemed to be in a competition of who gets me.
"Ladies, calm down. I'm right here with all of you." I didn't know who to choose. They were all so hot and it was maybe because I was drunk that I was willing to take any of them.
In the end one of the actually caught my attention. We talked and then kissed. The kissing turn out to be more and lead us into Nialls bed. Hooking up with her reminded me of why I did it in the first place. No emotions or feelings. Just hooking up.
In time, we were interrupted by Niall.
"Louis! what the fuck? In my room? Oh man. Mate, this guy came looking for ya. He said his names Harry. Harry? Over here!"
I was enjoying hooking up that I didnt hear him until he stop talking. Oh shit. Oh shit. Harry.
"Niall! No no! dont let him in!!" I tried to whisper as loud as I could but it was no use. He came back and there Harry was behind him.
Harry didn't say anything but the pain in his face said everything. The only word that came out of his mouth was a whispered name. Mine.
"Louis." I could tell he wanted to cry and I felt like shit. I wasn't drunk enough to not know what I was doing. I was completely aware of my actions.
What was I to say in a time like this? He looked down at the floor and the glanced up. His face was not the same as it was before This one was full of anger and irritation.
"Babe, tell him to leave. He might be your friend but i want to be with you only right now." I had no idea what this girls name was or who she was.
"Friend? Try boyfriend." Harry said and his voice wasn't soft or loving but the opposite.
Niall looked up at me and so did the girl. They both seemed confused and it was Niall who spoke first.
"Louis? What is he talking about? Boyfriend?" I was panicking inside. I had no Idea what I should say or do. Do I tell the truth or lie about it still?
"Boyfriend? Ha as if! He only wants me like everyone else. He might be gay but I'm not. Now I suggest you leave before you get even more humiliated." I went with what came out. At that moment I was panicking to the point where I didn't care about Harry's feelings. I only cared about not letting anyone know.
"Is that what you're saying? Why don't you tell them the fucking truth Louis?! You're gay! Don't act like you're not my boyfriend. Tell them the truth Louis! They deserve to know!" He yelled causing more people to be interested in what was happening.
"I'm not gay! Why don't you fucking leave?! You're not wanted here Harry! Leave and stop saying shit! I'm not gay if I'm here with a girl trying to hook up. Get your faggot self out of here and dont get into peoples business!" As we yelled even more people came around and were watching. I wanted all of this to just stop. I don't want this. I don't want to come out, I don't want anyone to know.
"What are you so afraid of?" He said this so sincere and he meant it. He knew that I didn't want to come out yet. I never told him why and he still wants an answer.
"Look, just fucking leave. Accept the fact that I'm not gay. Get out."
"Are you really risking everything we had? All those moments and memories gone to waste. Why can't you just tell everyone? What is keeping you from it Louis?" Harrys voice was getting softer and less angry," don't you see how happier it would make you? Set yourself free. You're the only reason thats stopping you from reaching happiness. Stop hiding."
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything! You don't know shit about my happiness. Fuck you. Leave okay? Just get out of here, You're not wanted here anyway."
No amount of words can explain how shitty I felt saying everything to him. I had not mean it at all.
Harty give me one last look and it was his face full of pain but he left. I left after him and was hoping to find him and apologize.
Maybe, he should be apologizing to me. I told him, I wasn't ready amd to put me in a spot like that was his fault.
He promised he'd wait for when I was ready to come out to say anything but it means nothing now.

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