Show Me Where it Hurts

I couldn’t watch the tape through. But I knew it was me. A very drunk, younger me. I knew as soon as I saw it.

“Harry,” my tone was begging when I stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He was breathing like there was smoke coming out of his ears. He looked up at me like he wanted to throw me out of the window. He threw another glass at the wall and I thanked God the kids weren’t home yet. “Harry!"

I mustered enough strength to go over and grab him by his forearms, but he pushed me off with enough force to tell me to back off and stay off.

“I can’t believe you.” He shook his head. His face twisted in a kind of sickened expression.
“Harry, listen to me, that video-“
“You slept with him. I can’t believe you slept with him.”
“Harry, listen to me-“
“You’re supposed to be the mother of my children. My wife. TWO kids Annie, two kids.” He chewed the side of his mouth, his hands on his hips. He growled as he paced backwards and forwards.
“Listen to me, you fucking idiot,” I said, finally losing my temper. “That video is OLD."
“What do you mean old? When was it shot?"

I bit my lip.

“Annie, tell me.”
“I don’t know. When we were together, we made one. Sometime. I was young. We were just fucking stupid kids.” I shook my head. “I watched him delete it. I’m sure-“
“What the fuck were you doing making videos!” He said, and I could tell his jealousy had sunk in. “You’re so fucking stupid, Annie. A fucking sex tape, with him.”
“I told you. I was a teenager.” I said, my eyes filling with tears of shame and spilling down my cheeks. “I can’t control what happened before I met you. I was in love with him.”

Harry stared at me, before something in his mind clicked. He raced into the lounge and snapped the video back on. I stood, confused and stunned.

“If this is six years old, Annie,” his voice was slow and dark. “Then why do you have a tattoo of my initial on your left wrist."

He stormed over to me suddenly and grabbed my arm. He pointed at the little ‘H’ like we couldn’t both clearly see it.

“You have that fucking tattoo in the video!” He was frantic now, his eyes wide and bulging, but dark with anger and pain. “You’re lying to me.”

I stood completely shocked.

“Harry, I have-“ I shook my head. “I have no idea how that got there.”
“Don’t treat me like an idiot, Annie, please. I know you have a higher education than me but please don’t be this cruel to me.”
“It’s not possible, Harry. That video is years old, please, baby.” I was white, I knew that. I felt so framed and stuck.
“Then what’s that?” He pointed to my left hand and as clear as day, there was a ring on my wedding finger.
“I don’t- fuck, Harry, I don’t know!” I shook my head, begging for him to turn it off.
“You’re a liar.”
“This is what he wants. I don’t know.. it’s edited, it’s a remake.. I don’t fucking know. But it is not me.” I was sobbing so hard my chest was tightening for air. I held his cheeks in my hands. “Please, please,” I cried, savouring the touch of him because I worried it could be my last, thanks to this sick video. His eyes changed, his face fell. He only looked full of sorrow.
“I’m only going to ask you once, Annie.” He said, closing his eyes momentarily. “When was that video?”
“I swear on my life, before I knew who you were. Six, seven years ago. I don’t know.” I sniffed, knowing that my cheeks were stained and my hands were shaking.

Harry sighed, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He clicked off the film. As if a light switch had turned on in his head, he switched onto the T.V.

“Shit, shit shit.” He fumbled with the remote.
“What? What is it?"

I came to stand right beside him as his fingers found E! News. My heart stopped. I looked at him. His eyes were stuck still.

“Oh, fuck.”
“No...” I mouthed. “No, no, no."

The story had broken, everywhere. Harry hadn’t even noticed, but his phone had rang off of the hook and so had mine. Simon had called him over and over. Will obviously didn’t just deliver the tape to us.

He delivered it to every newspaper and gossip site in the country.

Headlines like “STYLES SET FOR HALF A HEART” “NO MORE YOU & I FOR STYLES” rang out across every mode of social media. I didn’t even want to fathom the hatred on Twitter. I sunk to the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, hoping it would be enough to make me disappear.

“Hello,” I heard Harry answer his phone, sounding just as pathetic as I did. “No.. I don’t know. She say’s it’s fake. Alright, Simon. I’ll tell her. I can’t talk to you right now. Yeah, I’m aware of that. I’ll have to call you back."

Harry went into the kitchen, leaving me behind. I guessed he was talking to Gemma because I heard him telling her to not let the kids out of her sight. The good thing was nobody knew where Gemma lived. She was off the radar.

“Annie,” Harry said, unsurely. His voice still seemed cold. “Simon needs to see me. I think you should come.”
“Everyone hates me.” I sobbed, and even though I knew he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure that I meant what I was telling him, two strong arms grabbed mine and lifted me up. He held me in an awkward embrace. I could tell his mind was ticking.

“He watched us, now he’s making me watch you.” He shook his head, speaking to the wall behind me. “Along with the rest of the world."

Notes

So is it old? Or is it new? Annie telling the truth?!