I Thought You'd Care
Chapter 3: Disbelief
Chapter 3: Disbelief
Niall’s POV
After Liam left, I turned to Nell. She was grinning knowingly, like she knew what was going on. We had been quite silent, texting each other and trying not to laugh, and she must have figured something was up. She didn’t say anything, though, so I suppose she either wasn’t quite sure what was happening or didn’t want to torment Liam about it.
I turned to her. “So, what do you…do?” It was easily the dumbest, most vague question ever, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Complimenting her, especially in front of Harry and Lou, would seem far too cocky, and talking about myself would make me seem narcissistic. So I went with a question. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I thought of a dozen more specific ones that would make me seem more intelligent and less lame, but she answered before I could clarify.
She laughed. “That’s a bit vague, Niall. Well, I’m a student. I’m graduating high school in a few days, and I’m super excited. Next September I’m going to be going to Oxford to study psychology. I work in a fancy restaurant here in the city after school sometimes: I’m that person that sits in the back playing smooth jazz and stuff, that you don’t really notice until they stop playing. I watch my little brother. You know, the normal stuff.”
“I would hardly call going to Oxford and working in a fancy restaurant normal, but that’s pretty cool. What about hobbies? What do you like to do?”
“There we go, a bit more specific. I play football. Like, all the time. I spend at least two hours practicing every week day, and then I have matches on the weekend. Except for today, because the season just ended and the new one doesn’t start for a week. I go running, I swim in a pool that’s not far from my house, and I can be persuaded to into playing volleyball sometimes. Um…I play piano. And guitar. And a bunch of other instruments. They’re loads of fun. There’s really nothing like music—it’s great, isn’t it?” I nodded here, smiling. “I draw sometimes. I’m absolutely shit at it, but I don’t care because I only do it for fun. And then, after that, I guess I just relax. I play cards with my little brother. I hang out with my friends. I watch movies. I play XBOX.”
I stared at her. “How the fuck do you have time for that?” Harry and Louis nodded their agreement. “Like, seriously, what the hell.” Louis added.
“I love doing it. Otherwise I wouldn’t.” She responded, as if that was simple enough. “Also, it distracts me. I hate being just…idle. I can’t just sit down and do nothing. That drives me insane. It’s the worst feeling in the world.” She shifted her hands, as if trying to explain something complicated. “It’s like…doing nothing just makes me sad. It’s hard to explain.”
I nodded. “I love doing nothing, so I have no clue what you mean. But I can understand why that might make sense. You said you played XBOX right?”
“All the time.”
“Do you play FIFA?” I asked. Louis’ ears perked up, and Harry grinned. I heard him whisper to Lou, “It’s on, now.”
“Far too often.”
“Do you want to play a match?”
She grinned. “What, against you?”
I feigned offense. “Yes, against me. And you’re going down.”
“We’ll see about that.”
We did see about that. We saw that she beat me by four points in the first two games, then eight in the third. I finally threw my controller down in defeat. “How the hell are you so good at this?” I yelled. “God damn, I usually beat everyone except for Lou.” She just smirked at me. I was about to ask if she played COD when the doorbell rang. Liam emerged from his room, hopefully ‘cooled down’ enough by now. “That’s probably the pizza,” he said, getting the door.
Indeed it was. Liam paid and brought it in, setting it on the kitchen counter. I ran up and grabbed a plate. Just as I was about to grab some, I turned around, bowed, and handed my plate to Nell. “Ladies first,” I said, teasingly.
She snatched it from my hands. “If you insist,” she mocked. I winked at Harry, and he rolled his eyes. “Damn Niall,” he said. “It’s serious when you let someone get food before you.” I only grinned cheekily and cut him in line.
We ate—and she ate a lot, might I add. My kind of girl—and headed back to the couch, where we played another game of FIFA. I did better this time. I was only losing by two when we heard the latch go and the door open. Louis looked up from his phone, pausing in the middle of texting Eleanor, and said, “I bet that’s Z.”
Liam looked at his watch and said, “Yeah. I think he said he’d be back from Perrie’s at about now.”
Nell and I didn’t take our eyes off the screen. Zayn walked into the room with us. “Hey, I didn’t know we had company,” he said.
Nell’s back shot straight up. She dropped the controller and slowly turned around. I looked to see what was going on. When they looked at each other, her jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “Nell?” he said, disbelieving.
She sat there for a second, frozen, not saying anything, when finally she said, “God fucking damn it, I was having such a good time, too.” She stood up and walked towards the door. I looked at Zayn, then back at her, then at Harry. He looked just as confused as me. Liam and Louis were also puzzled.
She turned and said, “Thanks, Liam, for everything, and thanks for the games, Niall, it was nice meeting you. Bye.”
She kept walking towards the door. I couldn’t move. I looked at Zayn, confused. As she opened the door, Harry ran over to her. “Are you ok? Do you want a ride home?” He asked. “You mentioned earlier that you live bloody far away, and that you lost your money in the park. I can give you a lift.” She looked at him and, after a second, nodded. Without a word, Harry grabbed his keys and his jacket, put a hand on her back to steady her, and left. I admired how calm he had been.
I turned to Zayn. After a second, I said, “Okay, what the fuck, guy. Explain. You seem like you know what’s going on here.”
He sat down. “I went to school with her. We used to be friends, really close, yeah. But then, I don’t know, we grew apart, and, well, I was really mean to her after that. Like, way too mean. And I know it hurt her a lot. Because she was already…dealing with some stuff. And I don’t know why I did it but I did and I regret it.” He looked at the ground.
“How could you be mean to her? She’s perfect, Zayn. She’s so nice.” I said, incredulously. I was surprised to find that I was really angry at him.
“I…I just don’t know, Niall. I was jealous of her. Maybe because she hurt me when we drifted apart. I don’t know.”
“And what do you mean, ‘dealing with some stuff’?” Liam asked. That was a good question.
“Her dad walked out on them when she was seven, after she played some dumbass prank and he got fed up. And her mom never really cared, so her and her older brother had to take care of each other and then their little brother when he came along. They were embarrassed when their mom got pregnant. Because it was obviously some random that did it. She wasn’t even seeing anyone. But they told him that his dad was the same as theirs, because he would feel awful if he knew he was…illegitimate. And then her older brother killed himself. That was right before I went on X Factor. I guess it just got too much for him. He was an insanely smart kid. He was going places. And then one day, she came home, and there he was, a bullet through is head, a suicide note on her desk. He had the decency to do it in a place where his little brother wouldn’t find him. I just remember that she came to school the next day. Her eyes were swollen from crying and she didn’t talk for a whole week. I’ll never know why she came in, but I heard that her mom threw her out and she slept on the street for two weeks. Something about it being her fault. So maybe she just needed a place to go.”
It took us a while to talk. “Fuck, man.” I said. “I cannot believe that you would do that.” I was about ready to punch him.
“I was an idiot, Niall. Biggest mistake of my life. I will never regret anything as much as I regret making fun of her.”
Liam pulled me aside. He could tell I was getting hot-headed. “Niall, let him be. He’s sorry for it, and we know he would apologize in an instant if he could. Dude, you have to calm down. Forgive him. Just let it be.” I realized I was clenching my fists. I slowly uncurled them.
I walked over to Zayn. “You were an unbelievable douchebag. But we’re going to make this right. And help her. Because she’s an awesome person and I really want to see her again.” I said. He slowly nodded. “You want to know the most amazing part?” He asked. “She knew so much about me. She could have gotten back at me in an instant, and sometimes I wished that she would. But she never did.” I nodded, understanding.
I pulled out my phone.
To: Harry
Dude, make sure you get her number.
I wasn’t expecting a reply, because I knew he was still driving her home. But I knew he would see it, and hopefully we would be able to see her again.
Niall’s POV
After Liam left, I turned to Nell. She was grinning knowingly, like she knew what was going on. We had been quite silent, texting each other and trying not to laugh, and she must have figured something was up. She didn’t say anything, though, so I suppose she either wasn’t quite sure what was happening or didn’t want to torment Liam about it.
I turned to her. “So, what do you…do?” It was easily the dumbest, most vague question ever, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Complimenting her, especially in front of Harry and Lou, would seem far too cocky, and talking about myself would make me seem narcissistic. So I went with a question. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I thought of a dozen more specific ones that would make me seem more intelligent and less lame, but she answered before I could clarify.
She laughed. “That’s a bit vague, Niall. Well, I’m a student. I’m graduating high school in a few days, and I’m super excited. Next September I’m going to be going to Oxford to study psychology. I work in a fancy restaurant here in the city after school sometimes: I’m that person that sits in the back playing smooth jazz and stuff, that you don’t really notice until they stop playing. I watch my little brother. You know, the normal stuff.”
“I would hardly call going to Oxford and working in a fancy restaurant normal, but that’s pretty cool. What about hobbies? What do you like to do?”
“There we go, a bit more specific. I play football. Like, all the time. I spend at least two hours practicing every week day, and then I have matches on the weekend. Except for today, because the season just ended and the new one doesn’t start for a week. I go running, I swim in a pool that’s not far from my house, and I can be persuaded to into playing volleyball sometimes. Um…I play piano. And guitar. And a bunch of other instruments. They’re loads of fun. There’s really nothing like music—it’s great, isn’t it?” I nodded here, smiling. “I draw sometimes. I’m absolutely shit at it, but I don’t care because I only do it for fun. And then, after that, I guess I just relax. I play cards with my little brother. I hang out with my friends. I watch movies. I play XBOX.”
I stared at her. “How the fuck do you have time for that?” Harry and Louis nodded their agreement. “Like, seriously, what the hell.” Louis added.
“I love doing it. Otherwise I wouldn’t.” She responded, as if that was simple enough. “Also, it distracts me. I hate being just…idle. I can’t just sit down and do nothing. That drives me insane. It’s the worst feeling in the world.” She shifted her hands, as if trying to explain something complicated. “It’s like…doing nothing just makes me sad. It’s hard to explain.”
I nodded. “I love doing nothing, so I have no clue what you mean. But I can understand why that might make sense. You said you played XBOX right?”
“All the time.”
“Do you play FIFA?” I asked. Louis’ ears perked up, and Harry grinned. I heard him whisper to Lou, “It’s on, now.”
“Far too often.”
“Do you want to play a match?”
She grinned. “What, against you?”
I feigned offense. “Yes, against me. And you’re going down.”
“We’ll see about that.”
We did see about that. We saw that she beat me by four points in the first two games, then eight in the third. I finally threw my controller down in defeat. “How the hell are you so good at this?” I yelled. “God damn, I usually beat everyone except for Lou.” She just smirked at me. I was about to ask if she played COD when the doorbell rang. Liam emerged from his room, hopefully ‘cooled down’ enough by now. “That’s probably the pizza,” he said, getting the door.
Indeed it was. Liam paid and brought it in, setting it on the kitchen counter. I ran up and grabbed a plate. Just as I was about to grab some, I turned around, bowed, and handed my plate to Nell. “Ladies first,” I said, teasingly.
She snatched it from my hands. “If you insist,” she mocked. I winked at Harry, and he rolled his eyes. “Damn Niall,” he said. “It’s serious when you let someone get food before you.” I only grinned cheekily and cut him in line.
We ate—and she ate a lot, might I add. My kind of girl—and headed back to the couch, where we played another game of FIFA. I did better this time. I was only losing by two when we heard the latch go and the door open. Louis looked up from his phone, pausing in the middle of texting Eleanor, and said, “I bet that’s Z.”
Liam looked at his watch and said, “Yeah. I think he said he’d be back from Perrie’s at about now.”
Nell and I didn’t take our eyes off the screen. Zayn walked into the room with us. “Hey, I didn’t know we had company,” he said.
Nell’s back shot straight up. She dropped the controller and slowly turned around. I looked to see what was going on. When they looked at each other, her jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “Nell?” he said, disbelieving.
She sat there for a second, frozen, not saying anything, when finally she said, “God fucking damn it, I was having such a good time, too.” She stood up and walked towards the door. I looked at Zayn, then back at her, then at Harry. He looked just as confused as me. Liam and Louis were also puzzled.
She turned and said, “Thanks, Liam, for everything, and thanks for the games, Niall, it was nice meeting you. Bye.”
She kept walking towards the door. I couldn’t move. I looked at Zayn, confused. As she opened the door, Harry ran over to her. “Are you ok? Do you want a ride home?” He asked. “You mentioned earlier that you live bloody far away, and that you lost your money in the park. I can give you a lift.” She looked at him and, after a second, nodded. Without a word, Harry grabbed his keys and his jacket, put a hand on her back to steady her, and left. I admired how calm he had been.
I turned to Zayn. After a second, I said, “Okay, what the fuck, guy. Explain. You seem like you know what’s going on here.”
He sat down. “I went to school with her. We used to be friends, really close, yeah. But then, I don’t know, we grew apart, and, well, I was really mean to her after that. Like, way too mean. And I know it hurt her a lot. Because she was already…dealing with some stuff. And I don’t know why I did it but I did and I regret it.” He looked at the ground.
“How could you be mean to her? She’s perfect, Zayn. She’s so nice.” I said, incredulously. I was surprised to find that I was really angry at him.
“I…I just don’t know, Niall. I was jealous of her. Maybe because she hurt me when we drifted apart. I don’t know.”
“And what do you mean, ‘dealing with some stuff’?” Liam asked. That was a good question.
“Her dad walked out on them when she was seven, after she played some dumbass prank and he got fed up. And her mom never really cared, so her and her older brother had to take care of each other and then their little brother when he came along. They were embarrassed when their mom got pregnant. Because it was obviously some random that did it. She wasn’t even seeing anyone. But they told him that his dad was the same as theirs, because he would feel awful if he knew he was…illegitimate. And then her older brother killed himself. That was right before I went on X Factor. I guess it just got too much for him. He was an insanely smart kid. He was going places. And then one day, she came home, and there he was, a bullet through is head, a suicide note on her desk. He had the decency to do it in a place where his little brother wouldn’t find him. I just remember that she came to school the next day. Her eyes were swollen from crying and she didn’t talk for a whole week. I’ll never know why she came in, but I heard that her mom threw her out and she slept on the street for two weeks. Something about it being her fault. So maybe she just needed a place to go.”
It took us a while to talk. “Fuck, man.” I said. “I cannot believe that you would do that.” I was about ready to punch him.
“I was an idiot, Niall. Biggest mistake of my life. I will never regret anything as much as I regret making fun of her.”
Liam pulled me aside. He could tell I was getting hot-headed. “Niall, let him be. He’s sorry for it, and we know he would apologize in an instant if he could. Dude, you have to calm down. Forgive him. Just let it be.” I realized I was clenching my fists. I slowly uncurled them.
I walked over to Zayn. “You were an unbelievable douchebag. But we’re going to make this right. And help her. Because she’s an awesome person and I really want to see her again.” I said. He slowly nodded. “You want to know the most amazing part?” He asked. “She knew so much about me. She could have gotten back at me in an instant, and sometimes I wished that she would. But she never did.” I nodded, understanding.
I pulled out my phone.
To: Harry
Dude, make sure you get her number.
I wasn’t expecting a reply, because I knew he was still driving her home. But I knew he would see it, and hopefully we would be able to see her again.
8/19/13