Baby Horan

Niall bites his lip and looks down at his phone, trying to summon the courage to call his girlfriend. Things haven’t been going right for a couple of months now. Tracy’s been secretive, as if she was hiding something. Sure, he’s questioned her about it, but it’s not like she would admit anything. He didn’t expect her to.
Taking one more deep breath, he finally dials her number. Niall knows that it’s an arsehole thing to do, breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone. But he just can’t seem to man up and do it in person.
She picks up after the first few rings.
“Hey, Ni!” her voice is so happy and he’s so sad that it makes him wince. He holds his breath for a moment before deciding to cut right to the chase.
"Look, Tracy," Niall sighs. "I think we need to break up."
The silence over the phone is overwhelming.
"Niall." Her voice cracks and he bites his lip.
"I'm sorry."
"No, Ni. You don't understand."
He waits for her to elaborate. She doesn't.
"What don't I understand?" Niall's getting a little frustrated now. He doesn’t want to be an arse but he also doesn’t want to drag this out.
She stays quiet for a few more seconds.
"Niall, I'm pregnant." She whispers.
His mouth drops open. He must have heard her wrong. He’s been safe. He’s worn a condom. How could this have happened?
"Could you repeat that please?"
She takes a deep breath.
"I'm pregnant. With your child."
There's a stunned silence for few minutes. Neither of them have any idea what to do.
They're just kids, practically. For sure, Tracy isn't ready for a baby.
"How far along?" He asks, his voice an octave higher than it normally is.
"A few months, I think." He can practically see her blinking away the tears.
"It's common for me to skip a period here and there, because of the medication I'm on. But after the next one was skipped and now I'm late..." She trails off.
Niall really doesn't know what to say.
"Do you...do you want to keep it?" He asks gently.
"Of course!" She replies almost instantly.
"I'll help you raise it. I swear." He promises, actually meaning it.
"Niall, that's not a good idea." She sighs.
"Why not?" He asks incredulously.
"You won't even be here most of the time, Niall. I won't let you leave the band, so don't even suggest that. You can't even hold up a relationship on your schedule, so how do you expect to raise a child?"
The thing is, Niall won't accept that. He knows that it’s absolutely true, but he just can’t. He already loves this baby, even if he doesn't love the mother any more. It doesn't matter to him. He'll make it work.
"No, Tracy. It's my baby too." He argues.
"Niall, this conversation is over. Goodbye." She sighs.
He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but before he can utter a word, he hears the click of the phone being out down.
The line goes dead.
Niall throws his iPhone down onto the couch and curses. She’s being ridiculous. He closes his eyes for a moment to take this information in.
He’s going to be a dad. Niall, a father. This seems absolutely crazy.
What if the baby isn’t his? He hadn’t even considered that. He supposes it’s possible. Like he said, she’s been secretive about it all.
Niall collapses into the couch, cradling his head in his hands.
Nine Months later (on the day the baby is born)
She’s beautiful, really. She has Niall’s blue eyes, and Tracy’s red-brown hair. Who knew she would be so cute? They’ve decided to name her Carly.
The first time Niall holds her he never wants to put her down. She curls her tiny hand around his pinkie, and his heart instantly melts. This is definitely his baby. Without a doubt. Even if she wasn’t biologically his, he thinks he would treat her like his own.
“Niall, I’m supposed to feed her every two hours.” Tracy says from behind him. She’s still refusing to let him help raise her. All he wants is to take care of his own baby.
He hands her over begrudgingly, careful to support her head. Niall’s surprised that she even allowed him to see her. She kept her distance during the pregnancy, only contacted him a few times. She wouldn’t even allow him to go to the ultrasounds with him.
He’s not even sure if this is legal. You can’t keep a baby away from the father, right? Visitation rights and all that.
Since when did he even want a baby this badly? When he told Paul that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant, he flipped. Nobody even really knows about it, other than their families and the boys and Lou, of course. He couldn’t keep this type of thing from Lou.
Besides, he didn’t want to. She knows all about babies, because of Lux. Niall recons that the two children would be best friends if they were even allowed to meet.
He turns around and faces Tracy and his baby. She’s feeding her with a bottle and oh, she’s cuter than she was before, if that’s even possible. Her lips are scrunched up, her blue eyes serious and focused.

Only a few days later, Tracy and the baby leave the hospital. He’s entirely adamant about staying with her the first few nights, to let her sleep when the baby cries. She deserves it. She did give birth, after all.
Neither of them really has rights to the baby. Of course, they’re still broken up and all, but that doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’ve gone to court or anything.
Niall carries the bags in from the car, while Tracy carries Carly. She’s sleeping, something newborns seem to do an awful lot.
“Where do you want the bags?” Niall asks, muscles straining. He wonders what she really needed for a three day stay in the hospital.
“My room, please.” She answers, gently bouncing the baby up and down. Her voice is fragile and quiet.
He walks down the hallway and takes a left, into the room that they used to share. It’s just like Niall remembers it, blue duvet and wood flooring. The walls are painted a cream colour.
When he returns to the entryway, Tracy’s still there. Wordlessly, she hands the baby to Niall.
“Ni, I don’t think…I don’t think I can raise a baby…” she sobs. He hadn’t noticed that she was crying until then.
“It’s okay, you know I’ll help you, I’ll take her. She can be One Direction’s baby…” he trails off, desperate to offer comforting words but not really knowing what to say.
“Niall, I don’t I really…” she can’t finish her sentence.
The rest of the night, really, is all Niall holding Tracy and the baby at the same time, both amazed and desperate for answers. Is she really going to let him see Carly regularly? Niall hopes so.
Eventually, they do fall asleep, Niall on the couch, Tracy in her bed, and Carly in her crib. She doesn’t make much noise, that one, just whimpering occasionally when she’s hungry or needs to be changed. It actually worries Niall a bit. Aren’t babies supposed to be louder? Especially on their first day home?
As the night goes on, Niall gets drowsy. Since the baby hasn’t really made much noise, he figures it’s safe to sleep for at least a few hours.
And he does.


When Niall wakes up, the house feels empty. Unnaturally empty. Immediately, he checks Carly’s crib. Relief fills his mind when he sees her sleeping peacefully, still breathing, thank god.
He looks at the clock, It’s 8:30. He thinks maybe it’s safe to wake Tracy up now. After all, they do have a baby to watch over.
He knocks on her door. No answer. He opens the door slowly, not wanting to scare her if she’s already awake.
He’s greeted by a shocking sight.
The bed is empty, and the drawers are open, revealing their emptiness. Niall’s heart starts beating faster.
He checks the connecting bathroom. It’s empty. There are no toiletries on the counters, in the cabinets, or in the shower.
Niall’s panicking now. Theres no other word to describe it.
He rushes around the flat, trying to find her. There’s nobody in any of the other rooms. It’s just him and Carly.
When he wonders into the kitchen, he sees a piece of paper on the table. Niall rushes over to it, hoping that it’ll offer some kind of explaination.
There’s only one word on it.
“Sorry.”

Notes

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-brit x