Broken Record.
He's gone.
~Rina~
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
What is that?
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Where am I?
Beep. Beep.Beep. Beep.
What happened? Joe...
Beep.Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Harry? Wheres Harry!
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
It hurts.
Beeeeeeeep......
The sound of muttering voices surrounded me. I picked out a few. Dad. Mum. Char. Ethan. Zayn? Perrie? Slowly my eyes peeled open, it hurt to do so. The small room I was in smelled sterile and the beeping was bugging the shit out of me. The last thing I remember is not seeing Harry when I saw Niall and Pagen, after Joe had...
"RINA!" A loud voice screamed. Perrie was hovering over me, next to my mum and dad.
"Beb give her some room." Zayn whispered.
"You're awake." Char cried and knelt to hug me. Seriously I only got a bit beat up.
"Ha-Harry..." I trailed off, leaving some faces more confused then others. Zayn looked away and Perries eyes filled up with tears, my dad shook his head and my mum and sister held a hand. Ethan looked up and smiled sympathetically at me.
"Baby... Harry..."
No. nonono. The only time my dad started a sentence like this was when something really abd had happened. Not Harry. Not my Harry! No! Please God. I silently prayed.
I felt a sharp jolt in my hands and realised it was my mum jumping.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I was screaming as the beeping got louder and more and more people surrounded me.
Beep. Beep. Joe got him didn't he? Beep. Beep.
Where was my hero?
I woke up with everyone around me, I was in my own bed. Not the bed I had been waking up in the past few days, but my bed in my room. I wasn't alone, Pagen was folded up next to me and I smiled remembering how we used to sleep like this when we were younger. She was lightly snoring and I decided to sit up, I look down to see myself in my fluffly pj's only used when I got sick. To my right were dozens of flowers in baskets, some of them saying. Things like get well soon, others saying names. I read through each label and not one had come from Harry. I froze as I remembered waking up in that hospital bed and my dad trying to tell me.... No. I refused to believe he's gone, gone where? A pang in my chest caused a first tear to roll down my left cheek. I stood up, not wanting to wake Pagen with the sobs I knew were to come, when I noticed something under my foot rustle a bit. It was a piece of paper. I took it to the bathroom to read, deciding to pee.
Hello baby,
So I had hoped this letter would never have to be given to you, but I guess it has. If so Zayn has fullfilled his only duty I ever gave him; if anything ever happened to me I wanted him to give you this. I know it hasn't been long but I want you to know that as soon as I learned how I felt I wrote this, living the life I live, death is just around the corner, theres no way I can back out now, I love, or well loved my job. I loved the thrill of it, I hope the boys will keep you happy, I just want you to know that you are NEVER alone, you hear me? I will always be right next you, watching you become everything you always wanted to be. I also want you to move on, if you want. I mean I dont want to force you onto other guys, I'm still too jealous for that. I mean it Rina. I will never leave you. I will always love you. It does hurt knowing I might not get to hold you in my arms again, tell you I love you. Well that's it really, be good, dont do anything stupid. I love you, forever and always. -Harry x
Tears began to splash on the floor. My face was hot and cold all at once. It hurt. My heart had blown into as many pieces as there were stars in the sky. He cant be gone. He cant! I fell to the floor, sobs racking my body. I rummaged through the cupboards and found what I was looking for.
He's gone. Cut.
He's not coming back. Cut.
He isn't ever holding me again.Cut.
I need you Harry! Cut.
Please come back. Cut.
I will never stop loving you. Cut.
I'm coming. Deep cut.
"Rina!" I hear
"RINA!"
"Rina!" And then I see the wooden door fly open. Zayn stands before me. Crying. He makes a little noise and then lifts me into his arms, perching me onto the sink. I feel numb. No more tears, although I knew they were still going.
"Rina look at me!" Zayn screamed. "Please." I fell into his chest and sobbed, my heart literally turning to ash, he was gone. He left me. Zayn held me, telling me random things. But one sentence made me listen.
"Rina, he still might be alive."
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
What is that?
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Where am I?
Beep. Beep.Beep. Beep.
What happened? Joe...
Beep.Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Harry? Wheres Harry!
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
It hurts.
Beeeeeeeep......
The sound of muttering voices surrounded me. I picked out a few. Dad. Mum. Char. Ethan. Zayn? Perrie? Slowly my eyes peeled open, it hurt to do so. The small room I was in smelled sterile and the beeping was bugging the shit out of me. The last thing I remember is not seeing Harry when I saw Niall and Pagen, after Joe had...
"RINA!" A loud voice screamed. Perrie was hovering over me, next to my mum and dad.
"Beb give her some room." Zayn whispered.
"You're awake." Char cried and knelt to hug me. Seriously I only got a bit beat up.
"Ha-Harry..." I trailed off, leaving some faces more confused then others. Zayn looked away and Perries eyes filled up with tears, my dad shook his head and my mum and sister held a hand. Ethan looked up and smiled sympathetically at me.
"Baby... Harry..."
No. nonono. The only time my dad started a sentence like this was when something really abd had happened. Not Harry. Not my Harry! No! Please God. I silently prayed.
I felt a sharp jolt in my hands and realised it was my mum jumping.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I was screaming as the beeping got louder and more and more people surrounded me.
Beep. Beep. Joe got him didn't he? Beep. Beep.
Where was my hero?
I woke up with everyone around me, I was in my own bed. Not the bed I had been waking up in the past few days, but my bed in my room. I wasn't alone, Pagen was folded up next to me and I smiled remembering how we used to sleep like this when we were younger. She was lightly snoring and I decided to sit up, I look down to see myself in my fluffly pj's only used when I got sick. To my right were dozens of flowers in baskets, some of them saying. Things like get well soon, others saying names. I read through each label and not one had come from Harry. I froze as I remembered waking up in that hospital bed and my dad trying to tell me.... No. I refused to believe he's gone, gone where? A pang in my chest caused a first tear to roll down my left cheek. I stood up, not wanting to wake Pagen with the sobs I knew were to come, when I noticed something under my foot rustle a bit. It was a piece of paper. I took it to the bathroom to read, deciding to pee.
Hello baby,
So I had hoped this letter would never have to be given to you, but I guess it has. If so Zayn has fullfilled his only duty I ever gave him; if anything ever happened to me I wanted him to give you this. I know it hasn't been long but I want you to know that as soon as I learned how I felt I wrote this, living the life I live, death is just around the corner, theres no way I can back out now, I love, or well loved my job. I loved the thrill of it, I hope the boys will keep you happy, I just want you to know that you are NEVER alone, you hear me? I will always be right next you, watching you become everything you always wanted to be. I also want you to move on, if you want. I mean I dont want to force you onto other guys, I'm still too jealous for that. I mean it Rina. I will never leave you. I will always love you. It does hurt knowing I might not get to hold you in my arms again, tell you I love you. Well that's it really, be good, dont do anything stupid. I love you, forever and always. -Harry x
Tears began to splash on the floor. My face was hot and cold all at once. It hurt. My heart had blown into as many pieces as there were stars in the sky. He cant be gone. He cant! I fell to the floor, sobs racking my body. I rummaged through the cupboards and found what I was looking for.
He's gone. Cut.
He's not coming back. Cut.
He isn't ever holding me again.Cut.
I need you Harry! Cut.
Please come back. Cut.
I will never stop loving you. Cut.
I'm coming. Deep cut.
"Rina!" I hear
"RINA!"
"Rina!" And then I see the wooden door fly open. Zayn stands before me. Crying. He makes a little noise and then lifts me into his arms, perching me onto the sink. I feel numb. No more tears, although I knew they were still going.
"Rina look at me!" Zayn screamed. "Please." I fell into his chest and sobbed, my heart literally turning to ash, he was gone. He left me. Zayn held me, telling me random things. But one sentence made me listen.
"Rina, he still might be alive."
Notes
Tears. Im so sorry this is so sad.
is anyone even reading this anymore?
10/20/14