LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

Louis' POV

I don't know why out of everywhere I'm here standing at the entrance of a police station. It's shit really. I decided to help my my ex-friend. He's had his share I guess. He's stayed the whole night at the police station and it sucks really how they treat you. But no I shouldn't be worried about how badly or uncomfortably Calvin fucking Rodgers spent his night at the police station.

I feel pity for him, thought I shouldn't. I don't know I shouldn't exactly because what he's done was sicker than him and it still sucks. and wherever I am its all because of him.My head has so many things going on inside right now that its so haywire I can't even decide if I should actually go up to the desk and sign the form and actually pay for his bail.

But I'm standing there asking the cop to send for Calvin fucking Rodgers. I don't really wanna see his face and I don't even know if he saw me yesterday while he barged into the phonebooth but I hope he hasn't because as soon as the police is going to go from the desk to go take him out I'm running from here because really I don't want him to know it was me. I'm walking out the door. Mr. cop has gone from his desk and I'm walking out the police station.

I know its not really possible because he'll call me even before I exit and its bright sunny daylight I can't even hide behind a bush or something. Urghhh.I'm being called by a voice which I heard like 6 months back. And seriously I don't want to turn around and look back and talk to him and fucking explain.

Before I can make up my mind about turning around there's a hold on my shoulder and I automatically turn around flinching the touch away. Shit.

"What?" I blurt looking at the rugged sweaty bearded face. He looks like he actually spent the whole night in jail.

"Couldn't wait for a thank-you?" He says wiping the sweat from his forehead against the back of his hand. A habit he always does. He sweats a lot and we've always teased him for that.
Fuck him I don't need to remember stuff.

"You're welcome" I spit but all my head can see in front of me is a friend who betrayed me in the worst possible way any friend could door would do. He could've simply flown away to USA or Australia for scooba diving and I wouldn't have actually been this angry or shit maybe I would be because I really want to scooba dive once though I'm scared of water but anyway why the fuck did he had to do it?

I turn around to look away and start walking towards my car.

I seriously don't know what to say to him but I seriously feel like he needs another chance but no. It's always like I've known him forever and now its so frustrating and depressing to think that maybe like maybe if I ever give him another chance he will fucking do everything else to betray me again. The thing called trust has been shattered, no, it got burst because it was a bubble and now its just vanished and disappeared into the air. I don't know I feel like scraping my hair off my scalp or peeling the skin off my face.

"Louis, wait, c'mon Louis we could talk over a coffee or something about everything ..please wait" I guess he's running. He should run.I don't want to even listen to him, why is he behind me following?

"Okay we could go out for a pizza?" Is he bribing me? Do I look like some 10 year old? He's still thinking I'll agree with whatever the hell he'll say and go with him. He's making me angry now.

As I open the my car door, "okay I know a place where they serve pizza and ice cream together we can go there, Louis plz. I haven't had anything in almost a day" there. The greedy fucking asshole.

I don't know but I scoffed, "dont make it sound like you care or shit. Don't make it sound like you actually fucking do care okay? I'm not your girlfriend you are trying to win back" my temper is rising and he's not going from here.

"I know, I know Louis. " he's going to start begging in another minute it seems. But he should beg. Shouldn't he? "I know you're so angry at me and I fucking deserve every second of it. But just hear me out. Just once" he choked. "I'm sorry Louis I've missed you more than anything in the last few months.

"I don't know why but those words sound so fake and real at the same time. I just want to go and punch him for all the things he did and bring an end to it, but no."You're acting like I'm your boyfriend or girlfriend and you broke up with me and now you are trying to mend it all up. Just don't do it. Don't. Being a "man-guy" these things don't suit you, okay?? Those words still ring in my ears. What do you know about that?"

"I don't know what happened to me Louis. I hate myself for that everyday. Please. I'm ready to apologize and act like a girlfriend or a boyfriend whatever you want. Just don't walk away."

"Just fuck off. That'll be less painful"

"Just once. For once we sit down and talk." I don't know what to do. I just want him to go but maybe he can stay and say what he wants to. Shit. My head hurts now. I'm thinking too much.

"I have to be somewhere in an hour. I'll leave now" I turn around to open the door of my car.

"No! Louis no don't leave like that. You did already once. Now.." He pulls me by my shoulder. How dare he touch me like that? He doesn't have the permission yet.

"You stop touching me now or I go in and file a suit against you for eve teasing. You wouldn't want that I guess" he steps back easing his hands in defence

."We're totally behaving like girlfriends now" he mumbles.

"You don't have to degrade the other gender for your low behaviour. Be responsible for what you do. And if we were girlfriends anyway we would've already had a fight and done with it."

"Let's fight it off then, if that's what you want"

"What else am I doing? touching your boobs?"

"C'mon now lets talk it out like 23 year olds"

"You are not sitting in my car"

"What?!"

"Want me to spell it out now?"

"The police have my car. Not getting it back before a week" all I can infer from his face is that he will get down to his knees to beg me to listen to him. Well I think we can at least talk it out for once.

Notes

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